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That stings like a slap to the face and brings me right back to the reality of the moment, my mind derailing from that sweet little path my train of thought was on—the one that ends with him getting out of prison soon and the two of us riding off into our happily ever after.
That was complete bullshit, idle wishful thinking that can never be reality again. I spent months putting myself back together after he left and what do I do the moment I see him again? Just melt into this sad little puddle of longing and daydreaming about things that can never be and possibly never were.
“You’re right,” I snap and shift in my seat so that our legs are no longer touching, then cross mine for good measure, ignoring the sharp pain as my knee hits the edge of the table in the process.
Jax glances at me, sadly, then fixes his eyes on Hunter. “Especially you. Don’t get me wrong, I’m happy you’re alive and I wish I’d been there to have your back. But you shouldn’t be here.”
The look that passes between them is brotherly and one I’m used to seeing. Hunter says nothing, just nods.
“There’s two Riders here now,” Jax adds. “The last two.”
Hunter flinches at that, his face suddenly very serious. “Will that be a problem for you? Us coming here?”
Jax scoffs and shakes his head. “No more than it already was. I’ll take them out. For you.”
Another invisible slap lands against my face as I realize what they’re talking about, this one followed by a sensation akin to getting a bucket of ice water dropped on my head. Murder. More vengeful murder. More soul-ripping murder. I can’t stand it.
“No, Jax,” Hunter says, echoing my thoughts exactly, both in words and their tone. “We’ll take care of it. You just watch your back.”
Jax scoffs again, shakes his head and looks put out. “I’ll do what I have to. And what’s right. Don’t worry about me.”
“But I am worried about you,” I say. “Even if you don’t want me to be. And I want you to get out of here one day. Alive.”
I almost add, “So we can try again,” but I don’t, because I’m not even sure that’s what I want anymore. He’s made it clear it’s not what he wants. Then and now.
“We should go,” Hunter says. “Tell us you never want to see us again. We have an audience.”
He nods at the couple of hairy, bearded guys seated at the other end of the room, each unabashedly staring at us and ignoring the women and several kids that came to visit them.
Jax glances over his shoulder and when he looks back at us, the expression on his face looks carved from stone, and it’s roughly the same color.
“Maybe you’re right,” he tells Hunter. “Those two are Renegade Knights MC and they’ve made it easier for me in here. But all that might end if they see me being friendly with Cross’ son.”
And Scar’s daughter, I suppose that’s what he’s thinking as he glances at me with that deep, endless sadness in his eyes. I’ve always been kept away from MC business, but I know enough to know what’s what.
“Sorry,” Jax adds, speaking to Hunter again.
“You gotta do what you gotta do,” Hunter says. “It was stupid of me to show up here, but now you can use it to show them you’re done with the Devils. Go ahead. You should punch me, just not in the stomach. Please.”
He chuckles darkly at that, as though he just made a great big joke. Jax looks as shocked as I feel.
But then he turns to me and lays his hands over mine, squeezing gently. The sparks of electricity from the touch of his skin against mine pierce me right through the heart.
“I don’t mean any of it, Harper,” he says and now I’m floating on the soft ripples of that endless river in his eyes. “I want you to know that.”
And I know he’s talking about what he’s about to say, but also his reasons for leaving me. But I also know he’s saying goodbye and I try to grab hold of his hands as he releases mine. But he’s too fast for me.
And in the next moment he’s on his feet, glaring down at us.
“Don’t ever come see me again,” he growls. “I’m through with the Devils. And the next time I see you, Hunter, you’re dead.”
Hunter stands up too and glares just as darkly at Jax. They look like they hate each other, and while I know it’s just an act, I’m not entirely sure it is.
“Do you know who you’re talking to?” Hunter counters. “I better not see you again. Or any of these dirty little new friends of yours.”
He glances at the two bearded thugs, who seem completely enthralled by the show.
I suppose Hunter is about to get punched now, but instead, Jax just scoffs and spits on the floor. “You should be dead. And soon you will be. Nothing your daddy can do about it. So you better just run back to Cross and hide behind him like you’ve been doing all your life.”
