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“So why do you sound so reluctant?” Charli asked.
“What happens if, after we date for a bit, Gareth decides he’s not interested in me anymore? Do I lose my job? Do I lose my place to live? Will I have to leave?” Aria cleared her throat, letting go of her mug in order to wrap her arms across her waist. “I don’t want any of that to happen because I really like it here.”
Janessa’s expression softened as she leaned forward on her forearms. “I get that.”
Charli nodded. “That is a valid concern. I guess the best thing we can do is perhaps let Gareth know you’re not interested, so he doesn’t get caught up in feelings for you when there isn’t a chance for anything more.”
Charli’s words sank into her heart and filled Aria with a sense of loss. She wanted to protest telling Gareth she wasn’t interested. She stared down at her mug, wondering if it was worth taking a risk.
Her heart was saying it was absolutely worth it. That she needed to take the risk on a man who had shown himself to be wonderful in so many ways.
Her mind, however, remembered what it was like to love and lose. To be stuck in a job that barely paid her rent and bought her food. To be living in an apartment with drug users and never feeling safe enough to sleep soundly. She remembered how much pain she’d suffered over and above her grief because the man who should have been there to support her had left her on her own.
“Are you okay?” Janessa asked.
Aria looked up and took a deep breath, realizing she’d started to scratch at her arm. “I don’t really know what to say. Part of me wants to see where things go, but another part just doesn’t want to take the risk.”
“As you might have guessed,” Charli said. “I’ve had a negative experience with a guy. The man who fathered Layla left me heartbroken, and I’ve been leery of giving any other guy a chance. Janessa has mentioned that you had a broken engagement.”
“Yeah. He wasn’t terribly keen to stick around when I couldn’t devote all of my time to him after my mom got sick.”
“Isthatwhy he ended the engagement?” Janessa said. “You didn’t tell me that. You said your lives were just moving in different directions.”
“They were.” Aria clenched her hands into fists. “His was moving in a direction that didn’t involve a fiancée with a dying mom.”
“That’s just terrible,” Charli said with a frown. “No wonder you’re wary of this.”
There were a lot of reasons to be wary, but Aria couldn’t share all of them with the two women. She didn’t want to talk about why she’d lost her job and everything that had followed and why she feared losing the security this job offered her.
“If it helps you at all, Gareth wouldn’t abandon you if you needed him. As a friend or something more. That’s not the sort of man he is.”
Janessa nodded in agreement with Charli. “If he ever did that, he’d have my parents—and all of us siblings—to answer to.”
“We’re not saying you have to jump into a relationship with Gareth, but maybe just be open to getting to know him as a… friend,” Charli suggested. “At this point, Gareth is just wanting to get to know you. If you don’t want it to go further than friendship, he’ll understand.”
“Maybe we should just let things ride for a bit,” Janessa suggested, then tilted her head slightly, her brow furrowed. “Unless you want to shut it down altogether. Just keep things professional between you.”
Aria relaxed her hands, then lifted her mug and took a sip, trying to figure out what she should do. This conversation had certainly not been something she’d thought she’d have that day. Or any day, really.
With her heart and mind at war, it was hard to come up with a definite answer. Fear definitely had a tight hold on her. Prior to her engagement and everything that had followed, she would have embraced the opportunity to get to know Gareth and possibly pursue a relationship with him.
“Let’s just leave things for the time being,” Aria said. “Because I still don’t believe he’s actually interested in me.”
“Okay.” Janessa smiled. “And I think you might be surprised.”
The expression on her friend’s face actually bordered on a smirk, for whatever reason. Still, Aria trusted Janessa to be honest with her.
As she finished her tea, Aria listened to the sisters chat about their plans for the next day after church. As she talked, Charli puttered around the kitchen, breaking down the pizza boxes and putting them in the recycling bin. Janessa pushed herself up to sit on the counter, off to the side, so she didn’t block Aria’s view of the room.
“We’ll be at Mom and Dad’s for supper tomorrow night since they’re leaving Monday morning,” Charli said.
“What are we having?” Janessa asked.
“Mom said she was making stew,” Charli said. “I told her that we’d bring dessert, so I’m going to make something after we get home from church tomorrow.”
Aria had no idea if she would be invited to the meal, but she’d probably decline to go if she was. It seemed to be a farewell dinner for Janessa’s parents, and that felt like something that shouldn’t include outsiders. And she had no problem with that.
After having shared an apartment with a couple of drug addicts, Aria didn’t take for granted being able to just enjoy the quiet of her home. And though being alone wasn’t quite the relief that it had been in that rundown apartment, she still appreciated it.
