Page 32 of Lipstick Lies


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His eyes held mine, and I saw the truth before he even said it.

“I’ll stand by you, Fin. Always.”

Fourteen

FINLEY

Ryker stoodat the front of the conference table, a commanding look on his face as he debriefed everyone on what had occurred at the mall. The only thing keeping me from falling into a fit of hysterics from the ordeal was focusing on Dex and MKG. If they were this advanced, it would take the full force of The Order to deal with them, so I needed to focus.

“So, he was never there?” someone asked, drawing my attention as Ryker moved.

“No,” he sighed, rubbing his hand over the top of his hair, the ends standing at all angles. “I don’t know how far in advance he planned this or if he even had the capability of doing it so quickly, but there were five drones positioned around the mall, the majority of them in the food court area. The bomb was also placed in a shoe box display. He used a cell phone blocker to cut off communication. It was only our more advanced network with the watches that still worked.”

Ryker placed his hands on the table, the weight of this visible as he glanced around the room at everyone. “There’s something else.”

I looked to Asa and Cohen, both shaking their heads that they didn’t know. When I met Ryker’s eyes, I knew it wouldn’t be good.

“As I’d feared, Kristina has been killed by MKG. Her body was found at the mall. She’s been dead for a few days. I’ve given her team a few days off, but I’m sure they’ll want in on the takedown. Because there will be one. Dex won’t get away with this.”

Ryker’s words were filled with truth, and I knew that even to his own detriment, he wouldn’t rest until this had been dealt with. It had gone beyond duty at this point. It was personal, and Ryker didn’t seem like the type of man to let something like that go. Dex had been his friend, and this was the ultimate betrayal.

“We have a team sweeping through the footage to see if they can find anything. I doubt there will be much, but no one is perfect. He’s bound to have slipped up somewhere, and we’ll be there to exploit it. Everyone else needs to train and work on their projects until we have more information. No one is to leave base unless it comes from me. As for now, only critical missions and agents already in the field will continue to operate until we have more of a handle on MKG. Dismissed.”

Everyone began to gather their things to head off to do the tasks Ryker had set before them. I stayed sitting, wanting to talk to Ryker. I watched him, noticing how shaken up he was. The Order had been the thing whispered in the night for so long, restoring balance in the world one mission at a time, that now, to be the one being hunted was throwing them all off their game. I didn’t think they knew how to act without their secrets and code names.

“Did you need something, little hacker?” he asked once the room was cleared, only I and my guys left.

“Yeah, I just wanted to make sure you were okay.”

His brow furrowed, and I knew I’d taken him aback. He hadn’t expected me to ask him how he was doing. I guess being the one in charge, he was used to always being asked for something. It made me want to check in with him more often.

“I’m…” he shook his head, dropping the act as the lie fell away. He walked toward me, sitting on the table between Cohen and me. Despite the gruesome news, it felt normal for him to still flirt. At least, I thought this was Ryker flirting. “I’m trying to hold it together, but I feel like I’m failing at every corner,” he said, his head dropping.

I swallowed, not knowing what exactly to say. “I don’t think you’re failing, Ryker. You’re doing what you can to fix a problem. To stop a madman.”

“But The Order is meant to stop these things before they happen. I can’t help but feel responsible for the deaths in that mall, for the trauma you endured, for the scars Milo will have… it makes me wonder if someone else was in charge if they’d have caught it sooner. Did my friendship with Dex cloud my judgment of what he was involved with? How did I not see it coming?”

“Whoa, whoa, whoa. Okay, you can’t go down that path, man. You’re only going to drive yourself crazy,” Cohen said, squeezing Ryker’s leg. “And I think your history is what makes you the perfect person to be in charge because you know him the best. What did you always tell me? Hmm?”

Ryker turned his head, searing his eyes into Cohen’s. If I ever questioned their chemistry, it was laid out right in front of me. It was magnetic, and I hoped they’d find a way back to whatever lay between them.

“Carrying the weight of the world around becomes burdensome and endless. There are plenty of things to genuinely feel guilt over in life, so you don’t need to add to it by carrying someone else’s. Instead, focus on what you can do to relieve the world of evil, redeeming your sins one mission at a time.”

Cohen smiled at Ryker, and I let his words circle in my head. He wasn’t wrong. I’d been carrying the sins of myself and others for years, and it hadn’t brought me any closer to feeling redeemed. If anything, I’d felt guiltier each time I enjoyed something for myself. The lies I’d told myself had stained my soul like lipstick on a collar. I couldn’t carry the weight of Dex’s actions, killing those people to get to me, just as Ryker couldn’t. I think I’d been focusing on everyone else to ignore the reality of the situation. But that wasn’t going to help them or me.

I might not be responsible, but I could do something about it.

“Perhaps it was the hubris of The Order that blinded everyone to the threat brewing. It doesn’t matter how he was able to amass power now; he already has it. What matters is what we do to stop him. Your friendship might have clouded your judgment, but I don’t think it will any longer. You see him for who he is and what he’s done. And I think that’s what matters. We all have sins, Ryker. I ran from mine for so long that I thought the only way forward was revenge. I set out on a course with a plan to make you pay, and then I discovered that you weren’t the monster I thought you were.”

“Well, I might be a monster in other ways,” he said, followed by a grimace. “Sorry, vulnerability is hard for me, and my go-to is either raucous sex jokes or guarded indifference. I’m trying to be present because you all matter. This matters. I don’t want to lose you again.”

Cautiously, I reached up and took his hand. His breath caught in a gasp at my touch, and I focused on looping my fingers with his. I felt Asa’s hand on the small of my back, urging me on. Letting out a breath, I met his eyes.

“You won’t lose me. Just be honest and no games. I can’t take the lies anymore.”

“I promise.” Ryker turned his head, finding Cohen. “And you?”

Cohen looked over at me, and I nodded, letting him know I supported his decision. “I’m here too. We can discuss what that means after we handle MKG. Deal?”

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