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Ilook up, and the sky is slowly darkening. My parents open the front door.
“Really, kid, that was the best you could do?”
“Hon, you need to go after him. If you don’t, you might regret it,” Mom chimes in.
“Damn it,” I mutter under my breath, because they’re right. I hop in my truck, closing the door behind me. I can’t let him drive away like this. We need to talk about this, even if I don’t like the outcome. The Ram roars to life, and as I make my way down the driveway and onto the main road, fat raindrops start to pelt the car.
“Come on, not now,” I swear, pushing the wipers to full. I can’t see shit. I turn the music down, focusing on the road. I’m doing thirty, when suddenly, the car starts to swerve, and I can barely keep the truck in a straight line. “Shit,” I yell and park the car at the side of the road. Luckily, there is no one driving tonight. I’m still forty minutes from the house. I look around and recognize the road to my right. Jesse’s father’s place is not far from here. No one likes riding a bike in the rain, so maybe he’s there. When I park the truck, his bike is nowhere in sight. Gibb opens the front door and waves at me.
“Is he here?” I ask, hopping out of the truck.
“He was here to pick some shit up,” he says. “But he left again, you must have just missed him.” He flashes me an apologetic smile. “Congrats, by the way,” he says, looking at my stomach.
“Thanks,” I huff, caressing my ever-growing belly.
“Dad is in the shed, working on his dirt bike,” he tells me. “I’ll show you.”
Gibb opens the sliding door, and Dan looks up. Gibb winks at me and leaves me alone with his father.
“Hey, Ace, how’s it going?” he asks, giving me a hug.
I hug him back and take a seat on one of the wooden grates he has laying around, watching him rummage through a toolbox.
“I fucked it up, Dan. I didn’t tell him right away, and we had this huge fight,” I confess, wiping at my eyes.
“Shit,” he swears. “He came here to pick up some stuff, said he was going up on the mountain to clear his head. I figured it was about you, but he shut me down.”
“I don’t know what to do, Dan.” My voice is barely a whisper.
“You need to talk to him about what you’re going through. You can’t do it alone, kiddo. He needs to take responsibility,” he says, sitting on his haunches in front of me.
I stare outside, the rainstorm has turned into wet snow. I close my jacket, and Dan flips on the heater in the shed.
“I’m sorry, I thought he might have come here,” I say, standing from my seat.
“I’m sorry, kid,” he says, crossing his arms. “I raised my son to be a better man than that, but I know the reason he is acting like this.” He runs both hands over his face. His eyes are sad when they lock in on mine. “Has he talked about his mom?”
I shake my head. “He told me she left when he was still a kid,” I say. Shit. I’ve been so occupied with myself, I forgot about him, and the memories this is probably bringing back.
He takes his seat opposite me. “He convinced himself that she left because of him and his career, but it isn’t the truth. You know Gibb is five years younger than Jesse?”
I nod.
“When Hannah got pregnant with Gibb, everything was going fine. No problems at all. But the birth was challenging; she and Gibb almost died.” He shakes his head. “Jesse doesn’t like to talk about it. Hell, I don’t either, but you need to hear this, kiddo. When Gibb was born, I was so happy, and at first, I didn’t notice anything being wrong. It started a month after he came home with us. Maybe I didn’t want to see it, but Hannah was going into postpartum depression. She couldn’t eat, didn’t speak—she didn’t take care of Gibb. I tried my best, but I wasn’t there all the damn time. I finally said she needed to take care of herself and come back when she was ready. She didn’t and married some investment banker, then moved to Florida without ever contacting the boys again when she said she would.”
Tears blur my vision. “I’m sorry, Dan, I didn’t know. He never told me that.”
“He should have, kiddo. It shaped him in more ways than he wants to admit to himself. A year later, he got signed by a small company, and he put everything he has into his sport. It’s his life, but also his escape. I guess you being pregnant and not telling him the truth hits a little too close to home,” Dan says, taking my hand in his.
“Fuck,” I swear, rubbing my stomach. “He’s always so carefree. I never thought—”
“He is afraid,” Dan tells me. “Talk to him, kid,” he says, taking me into his arms. “I need to show you something before you go.”
I follow him inside the house, and he leads me down a corridor with doors on either side.
“This was his room,” he says, opening a door to let me in. My mouth drops to the floor. The space is filled with awards; gold, silver and bronze medals.
“He’s great at what he does,” Dan says, motioning with his hand around Jesse’s old bedroom. “But snowboarding is the only thing he knows. It has been his life. I know my son. When he loves, he loves with everything he has. He’s never afraid in the pipe or when he’s dropping down a mountain in the backcountry, but today, I saw real fear in his eyes. Fear of losing all he has built.”
