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“I don’t know, Dan,” I whisper, staring at all his trophies. Tears start to fill my eyes.
“Go get him, kid, and don’t let him push you away,” he says, taking me into his arms. “And never let him go.”
“Thanks, Dan, for showing me this.”
He walks me back to my truck. “Trust me when I tell you he wouldn’t want to ruin this. Not intentionally.”
“I hope so,” I drawl, hoisting myself into my truck. I slide the window down and turn on the ignition.
“Take care, hon.”
“Bye, Dan,” I say as I drive away.
I turn the car around and make my way to the lake and pass his cabin to his tiny house, all while snow drifts down and covers the ground with a tiny layer of white powder. I park the truck and run to the front door, checking under a couple of stones for the key. When I open the lock, there is a full-on snowstorm happening outside.
Inside, the flames from the fire give the room a warm glow. His place looks the same, except for the new gold medal hanging on the wall he took home from the Olympics.
“I need to fix this,” I whisper, caressing my stomach.
The door bursts open, snow drifting in with the man I’ve come to love. He walks in totally wet from the storm raging outside, carrying a stack of wood under his arms.
“Damn, Ace,” he says, eyes wide as he brushes the snow from his fleece. “I’m sorry,” he continues, dropping the pieces of wood in a basket next to the fireplace. “Did you fucking drive here in this weather?”
I hold up my hand and take off my jacket. “Save it, snowboard guy,” I tell him, walking to the small fireplace. “Here’s the deal, and I’m only going to say this once, so start paying fucking attention.”
“All right,” he says, taking his seat on the couch, his smile calming my racing heart. I briefly close my eyes, letting the flames warm my cold body. I caress my stomach and open my eyes. “I’m pregnant with your kid, and it isn’t going to change.”
He nods, pushing his hands down in his pockets, and leans forward, resting his elbows on his knees, while a slow smile spreads across his face.
“I know what you said, that you didn’t want to have a girlfriend. And the fact we both ran away in our own ways at my parents’ place—”
He grunts and runs his knuckles over his stubble. “Was stupid, and I’m sorry,” he chimes in. His lips twist into a smirk.
“It was,” I say, planting my butt next to him. “I don’t understand you, Jesse. I don’t understand us. First, you help me get over my fear of the snow, and riding a freaking snowboard again. Then you want to fuck me, then you say you want to keep me, and then you run to your competitions,” I tell him. “And I know I’m also the one to blame here. I run too.”
“I know,” he mutters, hanging his head, locks of hair falling in front of his eyes. “We’re both not cut out for this relationship thing, but for the first time, I don’t want to run anymore.”
“You are an asshole, Jesse Winchester. And I love you. And I know I’m going to screw this up just as much as you will, but I don’t care.”
He grabs his head, his fingers disappearing into his hair. Swearing under his breath, he sinks to his knees in front of me, resting his forehead against my stomach.
“Ace,” he drawls, then standing, he reaches out and caresses my cheek. “I blew it big time.”
“We both did,” I say, wiping my tears away.
He snorts. “Fuck, look at us. I’m scared, babe. Scared something will happen to you. I don’t want to lose you like my—”
“Your mother?” I ask. “I talked to Dan, and he told me.”
His eyes go big. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you myself. When you dropped the news, all those things I thought I’d buried a long time ago came rushing back. I’m done running away from you, from us,” he says. “I know it will take time for us to get over our own shit. But know this, babe: I never want to hurt you.”
I sniff and force myself to breathe out slow and steady to get my racing heart under control.
“Can I touch it?” he asks, motioning with his chin to my stomach.
“Sure.” My voice is barely a whisper. He softly lays his hand on my belly and takes a deep breath. “I’ll be there for you,” he vows. “I going to be the best dad, little one,” he says, kissing my stomach.
I brush my fingers through his long hair. A single tear rolls down my cheek, because he didn’t tell me he loves me too, and a part of me wonders if he ever will. But then he takes my breath away when he says, “Move in with me, babe.”
