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When I wake and turn over, he is lying on his side watching me, already fully dressed, and if his wet hair is any indication, he’s showered too.
“How long have you been staring at me, snowboard guy?” I ask, my voice thick with sleep.
He grunts. “An hour, give or take,” he confesses, caressing my cheek before he kisses me. He pulls back and his gaze turns weary. I can’t believe I’m still in Aspen, and for the first in a long time, I don’t want to run away anymore. I want to stay.
He takes a deep breath and looks beyond me in the direction of the mountains where the morning light hits the white peaks. “I’m leaving today,” he says after a beat.
My heart jumps. “Really?” I sit up, holding the sheets against my breasts. Why didn’t he tell me sooner? Was last night his way of saying goodbye?
“I got word the movie that was in the works is getting the green light with me winning the X Games. My schedule changes every day, babe. I don’t know when I’ll be back.”
“Where are you going?” I ask, trying to hide the hurt in my voice.
“Japan. After that, I’m on the road to Canada and Alaska. I’ll be busy until training starts for the Olympics, and then the games themselves,” he murmurs, staring at the blanket covering my naked body.
“That’s what? Four months away,” I mutter.
“I know, Ace.” He keeps staring at me. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you last night, but I didn’t want to ruin anything between us.”
I brush a hand through my bed hair, flashing him a small smile, trying to act tough although I don’t know what to say. “So did I just get played?” I ask, trying to hide the emotion in my voice by making it sound like a joke.
He clutches the back of my neck and kisses me hard. “No, I think you got it the other way around,” he says with a wink. “Like I said last night, I’m not good at this shit,” he continues, motioning between us. “But I don’t want to start something I’m not gonna follow through with. Let’s just see where this goes and figure it out from there.”
“Damn, snowboard guy, you have a way with words,” I say, leaning back against the fluffy pillows.
“Do we have a deal?” He laughs, echoing the same words he said to me when we first met.
I hold out my hand, and he shakes it. “Deal.”
“I’ll send you the passes for the competitions. If you want to come, you can,” he promises and picks up his backpack from the floor.
“Jesse,” I say, fighting against my sudden emotions as he walks to the door. Why does this feel like a real goodbye?
“Yeah, babe,” he says, putting on his beanie before he turns around.
“Watch yourself out there,” I tell him, my voice sounding strong.
“I will, Ace of Spades,” he promises.
I take a deep breath, fighting against the tears I feel flooding my eyes.
With two long strides, he takes my face between his hands, pushes me against the pillows, and kisses me senseless. “Damn, babe,” he says after he’s taking every last doubt from me. I like this guy, maybe more than I want to admit to myself, and with a two-finger wave, he opens and closes the door behind him. Walking out of my life.
Eight weeks later
My alarms goes off, and I reach out and slam my palm on the clock of my new room at Garrett’s and Ray’s place, where I’ve been crashing for the last few weeks. Opening my eyes, I stare at the ceiling and grab my phone to scan through his Instagram feed like I’ve been doing ever since he closed the door. Fuck, I want to forget it has been almost eight weeks since he kissed me goodbye. We texted in the beginning. Jesse even called from Japan, but after the weeks went by, the calls and texts became fewer and fewer. I called him a couple of times, but they were all left unanswered, and my texts were left on read.
I haven’t heard anything from him since last week. Jesse did post stuff on Instagram, pictures of him going to parties with his friends. Heading to an ice hockey game. To some fashion release party in New York. Not that I’m keeping track or stalking him. Only a little. The son of a bitch won a gold medal at Dew Tour, and the tickets he promised to send over never arrived.
“Damn it, snowboard guy,” I swear, throwing the covers off me. I take a quick shower and change. Walking into the living room, I grab the couch for support. Fuck, I’m dizzy again. I don’t understand… we had a great time. And what was that bullshit about figuring it out as we go? I should have never let him in. Now I’m having all these feelings for a wandering daredevil who only has snow on his mind.
I head downstairs, opening the garage door, and the morning light wakes me instantly. Even with him always in the back of my mind, I’ve settled into a nice routine. I even began designing some new jackets and outerwear for my father’s company. After I picked up Ronnie’s bike, I started to explore Aspen and the surrounding parts again.
My company is finally getting back on track with the help of Dad’s accountants. Some days I feel like a total sellout for not going at it alone. But sometimes you need all the help you can get. I hired Becky, a girl from Los Angeles who I met at a release party my mom and dad threw in Angie’s studio a month ago for a photography exhibition about the Kurton brand.
Before getting my helmet and motorcycle jacket from a shelf in the garage, I turn the ignition and the Harley roars to life. I put on my helmet and close my jacket, or try to is more like it. Damn, Mom’s cooking has me gaining weight. I slowly walk the bike out of the garage, then sling a leg over it and head to my brother’s place. I pass the road leading up to Jesse’s house. I don’t know why he never called.
“Fuck.” I slam my hands on the handlebars, looking up at my brother’s house and kill the ignition.
