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“What does that even mean?”
He frowns but doesn’t answer. I know he’s right about my life. Moira is only the latest truth bomb I missed, so obviously there is a lot I’m not seeing. I don’t know why him being right is pissing me off to a degree that is, quite honestly, irrational. It does though.
“It is for you to decide.”
“I swear,” I stop myself from cursing. It’s a pointless exercise. Instead, I shake my head and turn to leave, only now remembering that he’s whisked me off to God knows where. “I’m done. Take me home.”
“Is this your finaldecision?” he asks, a mocking tone in his voice.
I spin around and hold my finger under his nose, glaring up at his greater height.
“You don’t get to mock me. You’ve played around with my life enough. Take me home.”
Anger burns in his eyes, but he nods, waves a hand, and the heavy mist rolls in. As soon as we’re back on the streets of home I speed walk away.
“Quinn, you can’t escape who you are. No matter how you try avoiding deciding, you will.”
I slow my walk, then come to a stop. My stomach is churning madly. For a moment I’m sure I’m going to be sick.
“How do I decide when there is so much I don’t know?”
“Ask the Druid.”
I turn to confront him one more time, but he’s gone. Staring at the empty sidewalk feels like a metaphor for my world. Despair swells, filling my chest and trying to swallow me whole. I turn my back on it and walk.
ChapterTwenty-Two
The door chimesas I walk intoRedux.Apprehension flutters in my belly, unsure if anyone here will call me out for what I did. Will they call the cops? Kick me out? A barista I don’t recognize glances over with a warm, welcoming smile.
“Welcome toRedux, be right with you,” he says.
I look around, hoping to see Moira but don’t see any sign of her. I finally reach a point I can see into the small back kitchen area when I’ve moved through the line far enough to place my order. There are two other people in that area, but not her.
No one calls me out. The barista takes my order. I order a coffee and move to the end of the bar to wait while they make it where I can study the crowd. The customers and the staff are going about their normal routines. Everything seems normal, like nothing happened. Maybe, for them, it didn’t. If I know one thing for certain, it’s that nothing is what it seems. Moira is an Unseelie. A Fae. More specifically, a Dark Fae.
As if that make any difference. I don’t know if I would have cared she was or not. All I know is that what matters is she’s played me. Lied to me. No different than Dugald and the Druid too. They’re all liars.
No one is what they claim to be. No one is my friend. Whether they say it or not, they’re all trying to manipulate me. All of them are working on their own agendas, while all I want is to know if Duncan survived. That and to help my dad.
Reduxis comfortable in that way no place else is. The smells and the sounds are most of it, but it’s also the people. I don’t know anyone here, not right now anyway, but the atmosphere the patrons and employees create together is warm and welcoming.
”Quinn?” the barista calls my name, holding up my cup.
I take it from him gratefully and he smiles before moving on to his next order. I find an empty table close to a rear corner. It’s a dim section of the store, ideal for staring at a screen, which is what most, but not all, of the patrons are doing.
I sip my drink and let my attention drift around the room while my thoughts churn. I need to find Savannah and make sure she is okay. I don’t know if one of the Fae mind-tricked her or not, but one way or another, I want to check on her. Hopefully she doesn’t hate me.
My thoughts are a train wreck of decisions I don’t want to make. I admit, softly and only to myself, that I’ve been weak. Indecisive. This isn’t who I am or who I want to be. My dad would not be proud of this version of me and I’m not proud of myself either. At the same time, nothing in my life prepared me for the consequences of the decisions I’m facing.
The problem is that I don’t know enough to make any decisions. If I go back in time, will I be able to return? If I can’t, what will happen to my dad? What about Savannah and my friends? This world? Is my returning to the MacGregors the decision that destroys this world? Is it something else?
And who do I trust? Moira? How can I when I don’t know what she wants? I have no one to ask questions of because they won’t answer. Dugald and the Druid are pros at avoiding answers. Well, that’s not totally true. Dugald did answer one question, sort of. He said that Duncan’s fate is not yet decided. That it depends on what I do.
No pressure there. Thanks, Dugald. Not helpful, Dugald. Not helpful at all.
And what did he mean “not this time”? I cringe now as I look back but, in that moment, I wanted him. I’m sure it was adrenaline and pent-up emotions storming against all rationality, but if he hadn’t stopped it… I suppress a shudder.
It would be a betrayal of Duncan and I’m not that kind of girl. Except, would it? Duncan may or may not be dead since I left him. No, that’s not right either. Duncanisdead, now at least. God, that hurts to admit it. I was in his arms a month ago, for me, but for him it’s been hundreds of years.
