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“Thank you,” I said, genuinely grateful. He inclined his head towards me but didn’t say anything else.
“I guess I’ll go pack then,” I muttered, and headed back upstairs.
Jasper was sitting at the hotel bar when I came down from the suite. He looked good, dressed down in a maroon shirt and black jeans. I caught the glimpse of a black tie under the back of his collar. His dark blond hair was neatly combed, and he was wearing the Jaeger Le Coutre watch his father had given him for his eighteenth birthday. I watched the golden light of the lamps glint off the polished surface as he reached out to pick up his brandy glass. I moved into the bar area, running my hands up my arms and wishing I’d worn a shawl or something. The emerald green dress was one of my favourites. The pleated silk dipped into a low V between my breasts and hugged my torso down to my waist where it flared out just over my knees. Gold thread edged it and caught the light, and dark brown knee-high boots completed the look. The sales assistant had struggled with the idea that I hadn’t wanted strappy sandals to go with the dress, but the silk made me feel decadent, and the boots made me feel confident. They were six-inch heels, and right now, I needed the height and confidence boost.
West and Jack followed behind me, keeping their distance, and they sat down at a table at the end of the room. It wasn’t busy despite it being a Saturday night. Most people who stayed here would probably be at the theatre, as we weren’t far from the West End. It didn’t make it any easier though.
I waited a moment before approaching him, trying to slow my breathing. I knew his upbringing and his own personality meant he wouldn’t make a scene in the bar, so it was more... I’d grown up with the guy, and although our relationship had often felt fake, I did feel genuine affection for him. If he’d opened up and let loose a little more, we could have really had something and that made me sad. But he didn’t want me, not really, not like that. When I’d seen how my priests looked at me and the desire in their eyes, it had really hit home that he’d never looked at me like that. I’d always been the perfect girl, the perfect match approved by our families, and I didn’t want to be that for anyone. I wanted to be the one they’d move heaven and earth for, and fuck the consequences.
The thought of my men made me hold my head a little higher, and I strode towards Jasper knowing they had my back. He looked up as I approached, somehow sensing me there, and I saw his eyes trail over me from my heels to the bare skin of my collarbone and then up to my eyes. He stood and reached for my hand, and I gave it to him. His chocolate eyes held mine as he brushed his lips over my knuckles. I don’t know whether it was the atmosphere or how good he looked, but it sent shivers down my spine. He stepped back and pulled out a bar seat for me. I hopped up on it, which was no mean feat at my height while walking on stiletto heels, but thankfully I managed it with my dignity intact.
He took his own seat. “Are you staying here then?”
I nodded. “Yeah, Riverside Suite. You?”
“President Suite.” He looked up and motioned for the bartender.
The blonde woman set the glass she was polishing on the side and came straight over. “What can I get you, ma’am?”
“Black martini please, heavy on the vodka, easy on the lemon. And a vodka chaser. Grey Goose if you have it.”
She nodded and went to mix my drink. Jasper raised his eyebrows. “Vodka chaser, huh? That bad?”
“You haven’t answered my calls in weeks,” I said quietly. “Yes, that bad.”
“Do you blame me?” he countered, leaning one arm on the bar and swirling the brandy around his glass so the ice clinked.
“No, not in the slightest, but a girl can still need some Dutch courage when she gets what’s coming to her,” I answered. The bartender set my drinks in front of me and returned to the far end of the bar out of earshot. I took the shot first, the vodka sliding down my throat, leaving a slight burn in my stomach. I had a sudden sharp desire for blood, but I recognised it as my lioness reacting to my feelings of powerlessness in the situation, so I pushed it down and took a sip of my cocktail instead. The dark red colour of the black vodka and Chambord didn’t help, but the taste was incredible.
“So you think you’re in trouble then?” Jasper questioned, taking a sip of his own drink.
“I deserve to be,” I replied honestly, raising my eyes to his. “I shouldn’t have turned you down like that.”
He cocked his head. “Turned me down? Or done it like that?”
I sighed. “I think I would have always turned you down, Jasper, I just wouldn’t have chosen to do it in front of everyone.”
“What would you have done differently?” he inquired. “Said yes, joined in the celebrations, and then let me down gently later that night when we were alone?”
“I... I don’t know,” I admitted.
“Tory, I put you in an impossible position. I assumed you were going to say yes, and that was my arrogance.”
“I didn’t exactly give you a reason to think I would have turned you down though,” I argued, taking a longer drink.
“No, you didn’t. I didn’t realise you were unhappy with me, and some kind of indication would have been nice.”
I nodded and drained the rest of my drink, then waved it at the bartender to signal I wanted another. Jasper did the same with his nearly empty glass. I chanced a glance at him. I was confused. He didn’t seem angry with me, just a little sad. It made me feel even more guilty. He was such a nice guy, he deserved better than me.
“I wasn’t unhappy, I was just... I’m sorry. I should have said something earlier.”
He nodded and took his new drink. I took my own, downing half of it before I even set it on the bar. I hated emotional confrontation, and to be honest, I felt so guilty I wish he’d react differently. I wished he’d shout, call me names, and make a scene. But he didn’t. He was as calm and controlled as ever.
“Hattie said you’d started seeing someone new,” I remarked, surprised at the jolt of jealousy I felt at the thought. She’d texted me a few days earlier to say he’d been seen a couple of times in a bar with an unknown blonde.
“Hattie should stop reading the gossip magazines,” Jasper said, taking a drink.
“So it’s not true that you’ve been seen with a pretty blonde woman out on the town?” I sounded a bit too interested, and I realised that as soon as he smiled at me.
