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“West, what… Why didn’t you… The cage...” I shook my head, unable to get my thoughts straight.
“The cage was cursed,” Wesley answered, stepping up. He pressed his handkerchief to the wound I had made. One of many. It seemed he’d put up a fight when Jabari had taken him earlier that evening, and my heart swelled with love for him. “It imprisoned us inside our animal forms, so we couldn’t change and we couldn’t warn you.”
“I meant why didn’t you tell me about what I did?” I stepped away from them, shaking my head as Jabari’s words returned to me. The terrible memories began to return—the clashing of weapons, battle cries, screams, a red haze that covered everything, and the sharp metallic taste of blood in my mouth.
I looked at Wesley, my eyes wide, and he took my hand. “It wasn’t you. It’s the power. It takes over. Ra gave you too much, and we didn’t know how to control it at first.”
I pulled my hand away, trying not to notice the hurt on his face. “That’s why you give me your blood,” I said. I looked at West, the pieces falling into place. “You aren’t replenishing my power, you’re keeping me sated so I don’t seek it elsewhere, and that’s why you keep me locked up, because you don’t trust that I can control it.”
There was a flash of guilt and pain on his face before it hardened again, and he nodded.
“You were never protecting me. You were protecting everyone else.” I stepped back from him in horror. I looked down at my hands, half expecting them to be covered in blood. They weren’t, they were covered in ash from Jabari’s body, but drops of Jasper’s and Zayn’s blood lay on my bare breasts, and I cried out at the sight of them, trying to scrub them away with my blackened hands.
Jasper stepped forward and caught me, pulling me into his arms.
“No, no, you can’t. Get away from me. You don’t know...”
“Tory, it’s okay, I know. I know everything. That night in the hotel when I tasted your blood, it triggered something within me. I began to remember, not just dreams and nightmares, but to actually remember who I was, who you were, who I loved…” His eyes left mine, and I followed them to Zayn. He gazed back, his dark eyes shining.
“You’re Sadiq?” I exclaimed, and he nodded. I looked up at him, trying wildly to put the pieces together. Jasper was one of my priests? It was why he’d been dreaming of me, things we’d done in the past. I shook my head violently as memories came flooding into my head.
“No, Jasper, don’t you see? He was right. He was right, and I killed him too. I’m a killer, a monster.” Tears ran down my face, but I didn’t care. It was all crashing down. They had given up their lives and freedom for me, except it hadn’t been for me, it had been to protect humanity from me. West was right, I was a curse. I was wrong, evil, and tainted just like Jabari had said. I looked up at Jasper, desperately needing him to understand. I could see the love in his eyes, and I knew he didn’t understand at all.
“You are not a monster,” he stated firmly and bent his head to kiss me. I couldn’t do it, I couldn’t stand to feel the love in his touch or see the looks of pain and pity on the faces of the others. I pushed him away.
I stepped back and looked around for a way out. I caught sight of myself in the reflection on a dark window. My hair flew in all directions, my face was dark with ash, streaks from my tears ran down my cheeks, and my mouth was covered in blood. My body was dark with ash as well, and I could feel the stickiness of Zayn’s and Jack’s cum on my thighs. Coldness and hatred filled me at what I had become. I was some blood crazed monster who needed to fuck her way to sanity.
“You should have let him kill me,” I told Jasper.
“Tory, no...” He moved towards me again, but I backed away.
“You need to stay away from me. I’m wrong, I’m just wrong.”
Austin moved towards me. “Tory, wait, please. Don’t run.” He reached out to me, but I backed away.
“Don’t come after me this time, Austin. I couldn’t bear it if I hurt you too. Any of you. And I’m not worth the risk.”
I shifted, dropping to all fours, and sprinted through the door Jasper had left open and out into the night. There were no tears to fall in this form, but my soul screamed in pain and horror as my paws pounded the ground, forcing myself to run faster and faster, as though I could outrace the monster inside.
