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“Not yet,” he muttered under his breath. “Tell me again how I didn’t care about you.”
“I didn’t care about me, Jesse. I was in over my head. It felt like you and Tanner were the only ones who believed in me,” I finally confessed.
I confused Jesse’s love and attention for the start of a romantic relationship since I had nothing else to compare it to. Jesse always looked after me. I should have said something and gotten clarity instead of holding it all inside. It didn’t matter now since things were already so different from the way they used to be. He acted like the older brother I’d always dreamed of having. He finally stopped punishing my butt and turned me around to face him.
“Are you ready to do what I told you yet, Tiana?”
“No.”
“At least you’re honest.”
Jesse lifted me over his shoulder, carrying me into the bedroom. He sank down onto the mattress and flipped me across his lap. He yanked my pants to my knees and my panties followed.
“No wait!” I yelped as the stark reality of my situation hit me.
We had seen each other in various states of undress through the years but I didn’t think he saw all of me. Embarrassment flooded my system. Turning a deaf ear to my protest, his palm smacked the lowest curves of my bottom cheeks. Over and over, he targeted the juncture where my ass and thighs met. Jesse’s palm stung worse on my exposed skin. After so many years of thinking about immediate repercussions, I could hardly believe it was happening.
“I’ll get my stuff!”
“We both know it’s not just your stuff.”
“Please stop, Jesse.”
“I doubt all the reasons you were fighting Tate and I downstairs have been resolved at all, darling. If I stop now, you’re going to find yourself back in this position until we purge all the gunk in your head.”
“But I’m not your problem.”
“No, you’re not my problem because you aren’t a problem, Tiana. My handling of the situation is going to get you to a better spot, I’m sure of it.”
“Your ears are clearly not working. You don’t have to fix me!”
“It’s not my ears, darling.” Jesse let out a long sigh. “You are not broken. When we’re done here, I’m hoping you’ll believe me.”
That meant he was not anywhere close to being done with his correcting of the situation. Jesse cracked his palm off the lowest curves of my bottom. Each slap brought another memory to the surface. Ones I’d long buried. Huge tears poured down my cheeks in a steady stream. Crying my heart and my eyes out, I finally stopped fighting. I pushed into the pain, allowing it to fully release some of the things I’d been holding onto. The sudden danger that I’d put everyone in, though unknowingly, made me sick. His spanking pulled deeply buried guilt and other issues in my subconsciousness out with ease. Babbling, I promised to be better for Tate. I promised the sun, and the moon and the stars. I promised to be a better friend to everybody. A better daughter. I promised to be honest. I kept making promise after promise with every intention to follow through.
“I-I’ll be a really good girl!” I wailed.
Jesse fixed my panties and pants up to my waist, smoothing them into place. He undid the handcuffs, rotating my wrists in his hands, soothing away the ache they left behind. I continued crying, unable to do much else. Wrapping the fuzzy blanket around me, he tucked my bear into my arms, and brought me to his chest. Waves of relief washed over me, but there were still yucky feelings trapped in my gut. Feelings of unworthiness over the recent crap flooded my system.
“You are a good girl, Tiana.”
Jesse had the perfect balance of gentle and stern, like Tanner. It should have shown me the type of relationship I’d been seeking for so long. No, I corrected. The dynamic I’d needed.
“I reacted horribly today.” I buried my head in the crook of his neck. “I put my friends and family in real danger.”
“You did not willingly put anyone into harm’s way. Chet’s escape did.” Jesse offered his voice of reason. “You’re frightened over the unknown, as anyone would be. You are not alone. We are all going to get you through this.”
After a few minutes of letting my breathing settle, I lifted my chin to see his face. Smiling through my tears, I asked something that had been on my mind. “Are you going to marry my brother?”
“Probably.” He grinned as if thinking about it. “Are you going to marry mine?”
“If he asked me, I would say yes. Then you wouldn’t have to spank me anymore.”
“Don’t bet on it.” Jesse mused, his tone lighter than before. “Will you stop fighting me now?”
“I won’t pretend that you handcuffing me and carrying me to my bed was the worst thing that’s ever happened to me.”
“Answer me, buttercup.”
