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"Down to one," she murmured with the tiniest of nods.
By the time they made their way back to the ski lift, Katie’s fear of heights had subsided and she actually let herself enjoy hanging over the trees and seeing the bird’s eye view of the terrain. In classic form, Landon distracted her with funny stories about time on the road with the team and even snapped some pictures of her on his phone to "document your first ski lift," he said.
When they were back on solid ground, a happy little skip worked its way into Katie’s steps, and they strolled hand-in-hand the long way through the resort grounds before coming around the ticket booth to the edge of the parking lot where Landon stopped so suddenly that she stumbled into him. He dropped her hand and dug into the pocket of his jeans just as she looked up to see what he’d seen. Her heart picked up triple speed, but neither fight or flight kicked in, she simply froze, right there on the spot.
Unlike her, Landon moved efficiently. He swiped his ball cap off and mashed it onto her head, then closed her palm around his keys. "Go wait in the car," he instructed, with a little push to get her moving. Then he turned on his mega watt smile and walked over to meet the group that had materialized out of nowhere, phones in hand to get their photos with Landon Ryan.
GEORGIA
7 MONTHS AGO
DR. WALTON:When you start to feel powerless, just breathe. Remind yourself you have the power to do that—just that one simple thing—then build on it. Just breathe, Katie. What do you have control over, Katie? What do you have power over?
KATIE:I have the power to breathe.
DR. WALTON:Precisely. What else?
KATIE:I have the power to…to work, I’m good at work, I can support myself. I do support myself. Now. Although that’s still pretty new if I’m being honest.
DW:It’s a valid answer. What else? Where else is your power?
K:Ummmm, (clears throat), uhhhh, I have the power to heal, I guess. By being here and talking to you. Maybe I'll start to feel less scared, or something…I don’t know.
DW:No, no, keep going. And let’s keep starting all your thoughts with that phrase: I have the power. I have the power to…and just add anything you can think of.
K:I have the power to, uhhh, communicate, and (swallow)…write. I have the power to draw and paint…What? I don’t know what that means, I don’t even do that stuff.
DW:Doesn’t matter, just let your thoughts flow. This is good. I have the power toooo what, Katie? Because you do have the power to draw and paint even if you aren’t necessarily good at those things. When you think of it that way, the possibilities are endless, right? What else?
K:I can-
DW:I have the pow-
K:I have the power to…oh geez, uhhh, sing…maybe dance a little, and make money. And get my own insurance, and pay my own cell phone bill. I had the power to buy my own car. It’s a shitty car, but I bought it myself.
DW:Keep going.
K:I had the power to move out of my mom's house. I have the power to move again. Maybe start again? Maybe somewhere else?
DW:Mmmhmmm, you are not powerless at all, Katie. What emotions come up when you think about starting over?
K:Ha, I worry.
DW:What did we talk about? What is worry?
K:Making assumptions.
DW:Precisely. There is nothing to worry about because you have no idea what will happen next or what people are thinking or how things will unfold. None of us do. So in essence, worry is a waste of time.
K:Yeah I know, I get all that, but what about when you get unfolded into a situation where everything is out of your control because you didn’t prepare enough or plan enough or because you were too…too…silly to just think two steps ahead? What if you’re…trapped? Helpless and just freaking trapped?
DW:Then the cards have fallen where they are and we can only wait to play the next hand.
K:Wha-…Huh? I’m not sure I-
DW:Just bear with me for a moment, Katie. I think we can build on this. Let’s go a little deeper. Let the cards fall where they may. Just remember that. Alright, you know what to do, same thing we’ve been doing, three deep breaths, inhale to a count of four and exhale to a count of four, then close your eyes and listen. Listen to the gong, to the sound of the vibration. Feel the vibration.
Blonnnnng. Blonnnng. Blonnnng.
