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“Come on, man, how long do you think she’ll really be happy with me?”
He pulls his head back like I slapped him.“What the fuck are you talking about, Tris?She seems really happy.Happier than I’ve seen her since—”
“Robbie,” I finish for him.I’m a weird mix between defeated and seriously fucking angry.I feel like Eeyore with roid rage.
“Okay, what’s going on with you?You’ve been acting weird for the last week, and I thought it was because you were nervous about announcing to the guys that you and Jo were together, but it’s something else, isn’t it?”
I’m tired of holding this in and feeling like garbage, and if there’s anyone I can tell anything to, it’s my brother.
“Robbie knew.”
“Knew what?”
I give him a pointed look, and his eyes widen as he bends over, resting his elbows on the counter and rubbing at his jaw.“He knew you were in love with her?”
I nod.
“How long?”he asks.
I mirror his pose.“The whole fucking time.He knew I liked her in high school.He knew I saw her first, and he still took her.He wasn’t even sorry about that part, and I can’t blame him.Not really, because she’s fucking amazing.Why wouldn’t he want her for himself?”My voice chokes up as emotions threaten to strangle me.
“Oh Tris.”
“I’d convinced myself if the roles were reversed, he would’ve done the same for me—given her up so I could be happy.But he could have, and he chose not to.And I feel fucking betrayed, but he’s gone, so it’s not like I can do anything about it.And I can’t turn back time eleven years and ask her out first.Not that it would matter anyway because it wasn’t one-sided.She chose him.She chosehim,” I say again, softer.
“And now she’s chosen you,” Trent says, placing his hand on my arm.
I look up at him.“Has she though?Or am I just a safe alternative to being single and alone?I mean, maybe you were right to be worried that I’m just a rebound.”
He frowns.“You don’t honestly believe that, do you?”
I scrub my face with my hand again, hoping to wipe away the moisture building in my eyes.“I don’t know what I believe anymore.”
“Don’t do this, Tristan.Don’t sabotage what you’ve wanted for so long.You and Jo deserve happiness.Don’t ruin it now that you’ve finally got it.I know I was reluctant about you two, but now that I’ve seen you together, even with you being a moody asshole, you both seem happy.”
“I’m just waiting for her to realize I’m not who she wants.”
“Stop,” he scolds me.“You deserve her just as much as she deserves you.”
“But it’s felt too easy.Like the transition from friends to more was seamless.”
“Apart from the fact that your head is clearly a fucking mess.”
I huff out a laugh.“Yeah, I guess apart from that.”
“Not everything is supposed to be hard, Tristan.It’s okay to let yourself be happy.She’s here withyou, not someone else.She’s chosen you, and I can’t see her making that decision lightly.So trust in what you guys have, and let the rest of it go.Sometimes things work out exactly the way they’re supposed to even if it’s not how we saw it happening or in the time frame we wanted.”
“And what do I do about this feeling in the pit of my stomach that my best friend betrayed me?”
“Maybe go pay him a visit.He may not be able to answer any of your questions, but you can rage at his grave and see if you feel better.”
“Yeah, maybe.”
Becka pops her head in.“Are either of you planning to join us anytime soon?”
“Be right there, babe.”She smiles at him, and it makes my heart clench at the contented love in her gaze.My gaze slides out the window behind her and lands on Jolie, her green eyes searching mine and the corner of her bottom lip between her teeth.She’s worried about me, about why I’ve been acting weird.
I decide to heed Trent’s advice.He’s right.This time, she chose me, and I need to trust her not to break my heart.
Robbie may have had her first, but I’ll get all her lasts.
