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The SUV beeping alerts me to someone's arrival and my body slightly deflates when I see Raptor opening the driver's door. I climb into the car and buckle in while he adjusts himself in the front seat. I scoot as close as I can to the door and keep my eyes trained on the window instead of acknowledging him. Maybe if I ignore him good enough, it will be like he doesn't even exist. Seconds before he starts the Rover, I see a beat-up, dark blue Expedition peal out of the parking lot ahead of us. Raptor sighs, and I glance at him out of the corner of my eye as he shakes his head, watching the SUV speed away.
"Ignore Quan, he's just a dick to everyone," Raptor murmurs as he turns onto the main road. I hum in agreement but keep my eyes on the window, watching the city pass us by. The ride to my townhouse isn't that bad with Raptor who turns on a local radio station but is otherwise silent.
However, about ten minutes into the drive I realized that after all of this, I will still have to be alone in my house with both of them. Not only that, but it's the first time I'll be back in my house since Drew attacked me. The longer the drive goes on, the more intense my nerves get.
A few times, I thought about texting Maddox or Gage. For what? I'm not sure. When I told Gage that I was uncomfortable around my babysitters, he had them stationed outside in less than a minute with a promise to never make me be alone with them again. Does he know that I'm on my way to spend the day alone in a house with them? No, he can't. He would probably be pissed if he knew what was happening right now. So would Madd for that matter. I know that they would both drop whatever they were doing to come for me and that thought makes something deep inside of me squeeze.
Thinking of my time spent getting to know the Luna brothers and Stone makes a smile spread across my face despite the current situation. They really are amazing men and the deeper I get with them, the more I feel myself changing. I'm becoming a new person because of them. Or maybe I'm just becoming my real self. The woman I was always meant to be.
I feel stronger, braver, and more confident, not only mentally but physically as well. I've never embraced my body or my femininity or fuck, even my sexuality, the way that I have with them. It's freeing as hell and I find myself happier than I've ever been or more comfortable in my own skin. Hell, maybe even in my own head, and as much I may hate to admit it, even Nyx has done things to help me heal.
He's also done things to wreck me but thinking about that ruins the happiness settling in my bones over thoughts of my guys.
My guys.That would include Stone and from the hints, he's dropped, the touches, the smiles, and even this morning's random cuddles, I think it's safe to say that a conversation needs to be had between the two of us. I've overanalyzed my thoughts on being with more than one guy and being shared by them, to the point of madness. I'm tired of worrying about what people think of me or how I'm perceived. I'm happy with them, and I'm ready to fully accept my relationships, with all of them. I want them, they want me and I want to dive in, walls down and heart open. Otherwise, I'm just wasting everyone's time.
I want to explore things with them and see where it takes us. Maybe there's even a future waiting for us, all of us, where we can shed the scars of our brutal pasts and truly experience a good life filled with love.
I'm pulled out of my thoughts when the SUV slows to a stop and parks in my driveway. I blink a few times, adjusting to where we are. I had completely forgotten that I was even in the car let alone who I was with. Looking around, I notice that Quan's SUV is already here and he's impatiently leaning on the hood, staring at my front door with irritation. Sighing, I slide out of the car and head toward my house with Raptor and Quan right behind me.
"Let's make this shit fuckin quick," Quan barks.
Ignoring the way my neck tingles and my skin breaks out in cold sweats at the fact that I have these two literally right behind me where I cant see them, I rush to pull my keys out of my purse. I almost drop them a few times as my hands begin to shake, but I exhale and force my nerves to chill for a minute. I just need to get inside and get some space from them, primarily Quan.
Finally getting the key in, I unlock my door and step into my home for the first time since that night. A wave of emotions and thoughts barrel into me all at once. I'm frozen on the spot and overwhelmed, unable to move any further into the house.
"Hurry the fuck up, bitch," Quan grunts. My eyes widen at his harsh words but before I can say anything, a hand in the center of my back slams me forward so quickly that I trip over the entry rug and fall to my knees. I cry out in pain when my palms connect with the hard ground.
"What the fuck?" Raptor yells as feet scuffle behind me. His shoes come into my line of sight as every scenario quickly flies through my brain. What do I do? How do I get out of here? I need to run fast. I will not be stuck in this house at Quan's mercy.
Raptor bends down beside me and extends his arm. I jump on instinct, unsure of his game plan here. He quickly throws his hands up in surrender and begins to shake his head.
"I just wanted to help you up. I'm sorry for scaring you." He slowly holds his hand out again for me but before I can take it, a third voice rings out in my entryway.
"Oh good, she's already on her knees for me. Perfect," he purrs.
Every emotion that I was previously feeling about being back in this house, my anger toward Nyxon for how he treated me earlier, and the happiness I had in finally accepting my future with the guys, all but disappears in an instant. A cold chill settles over my body and I allow the numbness that's creeping in to fill me, taking me over from the inside out.
"Who the fuck are you?" Raptor growls and if I still had any feelings left in me, I might be thankful for the subtle move he makes to stand in front of me.
"Ahhh, thank you for tracking her down but you're no longer needed here," Drew chirps, his voice full of sick satisfaction and glee. My eyes stay squeezed shut because I cannot bring myself to look at his face and see the depravity that I already know lives inside of him. I can't.
Please don't let this be the end. Where are my guys when I need them? We were just getting started.
My hopes and dreams for a normal future, one filled with love and tomorrows tries to claw at my soul. It's screaming at me to stand up, to fight for everything that I've always wanted. To pull myself off of this ground and be the person that I have become since meeting the guys.
To be the fighter Nyxon has trained me to be.
The calm and controlled person that Stone has shown me.
The confident woman that Maddox see's me as.
The brave warrior that Gage claims I am.
I am all of those things and more, I will not lethimtake my life out of my hands ever again. Steeling my spine and gritting my teeth, I peel my eyes open and look up, gazing into the eyes I once thought that I loved. But now, I see him for what he really is; a sociopathic, entitled prick. Letting my anger fuel me, I slowly stand, never breaking eye contact as I watch a smug grin take over his too-confident face.
"Long time no see, baby. I look forward to extinguishing that fire I see in your eyes. It's always so much funner when they fight back."
Out of the corner of my eye, I see Raptor moving slowly toward me, his hand shifting behind him where I know he keeps his gun, like the rest of them do. Drew tsk's like he's reprimanding a tantruming child and Raptor pauses his movements.
