AllFreeNovel
Share Us
Fuck, fuck, fuck. I mentally start working on escape plans, and how to defend myself.
Not About Angels-Birdy
I have nothing but my phone, which is somewhere on the floor. I’m in an elevator, four walls, a box. It’s getting smaller, closing in on me. I need to get out. Get out. There’s no air in here. Fuck, I can’t breathe, I can’t breathe, I can't br-
“Hey, hey, it’s okay, I am not going to hurt you,” his soft voice murmurs. I tuck my head further into my knees, making myself into a tight ball. I canfeelhim getting closer to me and I shift my body back into the wall as much as possible. There is still no fucking air, I need to get out. My brain is screaming at me to get out, to run, but I can’t move. “I’m not going to touch you, okay, but you need to breathe for me.”
I want to scream that I can’t breathe when there’s no air but I can’t. I can’t talk or move, I’m completely immobilized. My body starts to feel woozy and I’m lightheaded. I wish I could get out of here. Why can’t I move?
“You need to breathe for me, sweet girl. Can you do that? Can you respond for me?” Where is that voice coming from? It sounds far away and echoey.It sounds nice. “Shit, okay. I think you’re going to pass out. I will be right back.”
Whoever he is, his voice is sweet. I wish I could force my head up to look at him. I hear a dull thud that sounds like running, but that doesn’t make any sense because there is nowhere to run to in this box. This box with no air. I can feel my lungs screaming at me to breathe but the most I can do is choke and gasp for the remnants of oxygen in this place.
“I did not have time to run upstairs to my room, so this will have to work. I am not going to put my hands on you but I am going to wrap you in something that I think will help. I’m sorry if this is weird,” he murmurs before I hear an extremely odd sound. I can’t make out what it is over the deafening pounding of my heart that’s filling my ears.
I feel something slide across my arm before quickly dipping behind my back. In my head, I jump at the feeling. Whether or not that translates to my body, I’m not sure. I vaguely recognize a small squeak puff out of my lips, but I’m too concerned with the simple act of breathing to focus on anything else.
“You are safe here, I promise,” he whispers as he continues to glide something around my body. What is that? A blanket? No, it’s cool and smooth, not soft. I can’t feel his skin on me so I know he’s staying true to his word and not actually touching me. I feel my body drawing in on itself more tightly. “You must be Ella. I’m sorry I haven’t had a chance to meet you yet. Things have been crazy around here. My name is Alec, but the guys call me Stone. I live here with them. I hear you’re going to be staying here with us for a while, or maybe even longer than that.”
He continues talking to me in hushed tones as he wraps me in some weird material. It’s tight and restrictive and the more he encases me in it, the better I feel.
“I’m sure I surprised you. I am really sorry about that. Nyx and I got home early but he ran toThe Dento help out with a client really quickly. He should be back soon. He sent Raptor and Quan away but if you feel better with them here, I can call them back.” That thought forces a hurried “no” out of me. It’s barely a whisper but I know he hears it because he pauses in his swaddling. “Did you say something?” he murmurs.
“Don’t call them back, please,” I rasp.
He hesitates but continues to wrap me up. Whatever it is, it’s tight and it cocoons my limbs around my core, like a baby in a blanket. My arms are wrapped around my legs which are tucked tightly into my body. I don’t know how, what or why, but it’s helping. He finally stops and I can sense him sitting down next to me. He doesn’t touch me, but I can feel the heat from his body so I know he’s close.
“If I would have had time, I would have gone to get my ropes. The saran wrap achieves the same thing, except it’s more intense. This technique is actually closer to mummification because it’s a full-body bond with limited mobility. I noticed when you dropped down, you tucked into yourself, almost like you couldn’t get close enough to your own body. For some people, they find pressure and restriction can actually calm if not completely stop a panic attack. Squeezing the muscles releases oxytocin which is the happy chemical, into the bloodstream and suppresses the sympathetic nervous system. It’s why hugs and holding someone makes them feel better,” he pauses and then laughs, “I would have hugged you but unfortunately, touch and physical contact have the opposite effect on me.”
We sit in silence while I slowly regain my ability to breathe normally. The longer we sit, the better I feel. The compression makes me feel safe and helps my brain to stop spinning. I feel more relaxed than I have in a long time.
“I don’t want to keep it on you for too long. I could not get a good wrap because of the way you are sitting. Are you feeling better?” he asks in that husky, beautiful voice. It’s soothing in a way that’s effortless. For some reason, it instantly relaxes me on a deep, intrinsic level. Like my mind and soul know that I’m safe here with him.
“I’m feeling better, but I’d like to keep it on for a few more minutes if that’s okay,” I whisper, my throat feeling hoarse.
He chuckles and settles in a little closer to me. His arm brushes mine and the contact surprisingly feels good, despite the fact that I'm covered in plastic. I don’t have the knee-jerk reaction to run. Not that I could. The visual makes me snicker. Me trying to run while wrapped up like a plastic mummy.
“Do you want to talk about what just happened?” he asks softly.
I sigh and settle deeper into my bonds. I don’t know if it’s how comfortable I feel wrapped up like this, or the fact that he’s a stranger and I can’t see him, or maybe it’s just his soothing tone that speaks to me, but I feel like opening up to him. It’s like a confessional. I feel safe.
“I had a flashback. When I was attacked a few weeks ago, I was on my phone and distracted. I walked into my room and Drew was already there waiting for me. He said something and surprised me. No, he didn’t surprise me, he scared me to death,” I laugh but it’s a bitter sound. “I tried to find a way to get out or something to use to fight him off with, but it was too late. I was already trapped. I guess it was all just too similar.”
“Have you talked to anyone about the attack yet?” he murmurs.
It doesn’t escape me that he calls it an attack. Not ‘the situation', or ‘what happened', or some other vague term. He labels it. I like that.
I shrug and then chuckle when I remember I can’t move. “Kind of. I told my best friend a little bit about it but I didn’t want to go into great detail. It doesn’t really matter. I can’t go back and change it so why should I put that on anyone else?”
“You want to spare them your pain. You want to protect them,” he starts and then pauses for a breath. When he continues, his voice sounds rougher, like the words are being tugged straight from his soul. “You understand that what happened to you, belongs to you and no one else. Your experiences, good, bad, and fucking horrible, are yours and yours alone. No amount of platitudes or apologies can repair what someone else broke. It’s your battle and you acknowledge that you have to be your own warrior if you’re going to fight off your demons.”
I wish I could lift my head and look up at him right now. I wish I could see his face. He gets it.
“Yeah, that’s exactly how I feel. Like why would I make the people who care about me feel unnecessarily sad? They can’t change it or fix it. They weren’t there and I don’t want their pity. I feel like telling someone else my sob story will just result in me having to apologize for makingthemsad and then, I’ll have to carry their pain along with my own. No one can be there in the middle of the night when my monsters are out wreaking havoc on me. No one can save me from what’s going on in my head. I might as well learn to survive the storm on my own.”
“And depending on other people is scary as fuck,” he adds on. “Being vulnerable and letting someone see how dark you can get is the scariest thing in the world. What happens if you let them see inside your soul, and they don’t like what they see? What if they turn their back on you because you’re too fucked up?”
“Exactly,” I agree.
