AllFreeNovel
Share Us
“I get it, Elle. I do. I’m so fucking sorry that this happened to you. I can’t even,” he sighs and closes his eyes.
I continue to run my fingers through his long soft hair as he works through his emotions. I understand. I would be devastated if something like this happened to him.
“I’m proud of you. If you really feel that way, then all I can say is I love you, and I’m here for you whenever you’re ready to talk. If this suddenly hits you someday down the road, I’ll be ready with Chinese food and tequila. We’ll cry it out together. Until then, tell me aboutthem,” he says with an eye roll, making me chuckle.
“Now that is a whole ass other situation. I don’t even know where to start,” I sigh.
“How about at the beginning. Tell me everything,” he laughs while pulling me down next to him.
We get comfortable with my head on his chest as I start from the top, giving my best friend all of the dirty details surrounding the three sexy as-sin men. I tell Hunter everything, from meeting each of the boys, to my interactions with them, both sexual and not. Hunter listens, only offering small comments or questions throughout. Some gasps of shock, some bouts of silence where I fear he may be mad or disappointed in me. But, I continue on, knowing that talking it out with him is as much for me as it is for Hunter.
I genuinely have no idea what is happening between us, any of us. The Luna brothers and I seem to have something going on. What that is? No idea. I’m attracted as hell to both of them and I would assume they feel the same about me, based on our interactions. They are so different from each other, yet, I find myself drawn to both of them equally. They both feed different sides of me but they affect me similarly. I’m turned on beyond words when I’m around either of them. When they are both in a room, I feel like I might explode. Emotionally and spiritually, I feel a pull to both of them. As though they are pieces of me that I’ve been missing. When I’m around them, I feel more complete.
Nyxon is just a whole other situation. I’m drawn to him, just as I was that day on the bridge. Physically, he’s fucking gorgeous and I would be stupid to not recognize that. But, when I look at him, I feel a whole host of things. I feel all the same things I felt that day two years ago; longing, sadness, happiness, depression, lust, need, and connection. Seeing him brings me back to what took me to the bridge that day in the first place. But, seeing him also gives me all the same emotions that he did when we first locked eyes and when we first touched. He made me happy, hopeful, and excited. He gave me my dreams back.
Now, Nyx makes me feel differently. He breaks my heart, little by little, with every brush-off and cruel word. He makes me rethink my initial reaction to him. He makes me second guess that entire day. Did I imagine our connection? Was I so broken and depressed that I put all my hopes and dreams on one man and built him up to be way more than he really is? These past two years, have I fictionalized our actual interactions? I honestly don’t know anymore.
Yet, all of that, and I still feel attracted to him. I still get turned on when he’s near me. I still want him.
“Do you have feelings for them?” Hunt whispers, almost painfully.
I’m taken aback by the vulnerability in his voice. He sounds sad, his voice raw. I sit up, leaning on my elbow, to look at my best friend. His eyes are closed, his face devoid of any emotion. What in the world is going through his mind right now?
“I don’t know, Hunt,” I answer honestly. “I’m attracted to them, obviously. I enjoy hanging out with them. I have fun with Maddox and Gage. Maddox makes me feel light and happy. He makes me feel like a version of myself I lost a long time ago. Gage makes me feel strong but he also makes me feel like I don’thaveto be strong. Like he can carry my burdens for me. I like who I am when I’m around them,” I explain, trying to voice the swirling emotions in my head.
His face scrunches and he looks pained for a moment before he quickly sits up. Hunter braces his forearms on his knees and hangs his head.
“So, you’re staying with them then, right?” he says, stating it more than asking.
Am I? Is that what I want? To be here with these men. These rough, dangerous, gangsters? Fuck. Why doesn’t saying what they are scare me? Why doesn’t thinking about how dangerous they are, make me fucking terrified? I should be running for the hills. Hunter and I should be hiding out far, far away from here. But afraid is not at fucking all what I’m feeling right now. What I am feeling makes my goddamn head spin.
I feel turned the hell on.
What the fuck? That must be my damage speaking. I shake my head, trying to clear my lust-filled thoughts.
“I don’t know what I want to do Hunter. Part of me thinks that I should stay here because if Drew really thinks that he killed me, only to find out that I’m still alive, after spilling his crazy ass secrets,” I sigh and shrug. “Then maybe I need them. I wish that you and I were enough to take him on Hunt, but I don’t think we are. I don’t think I can fight him off a second time, especially not right now. And it’s not that I don’t think that you can protect me, but Hunter, he said that his father was in on it. I don’t understand that shit at all and Drew could have made it up, but what if he was being honest? What if not only is my crazy, attempted murdering ex after me now, but his Governor father also? Fuck, Hunt, I’ll need all the protection I can get.”
Hunter remains silent, his head in his hands. I move forward to rub his back soothingly, but he suddenly shoots up off of the bed and shakes his head. My hand hangs suspended in the air, brows furrowed. I’m surprised by his anger right now. I thought he would understand my reasoning for wanting to stay here.Those aren’t the only reasons you want to be here, liar.I shake those thoughts away.
“I get it, Elle. They can probably do more for you than I can. They can protect you and I can’t. They’re better at it than I am. They-,” he rants, hands flying all over the place, but I interrupt him as I quickly stand, cringing at the sharp pain in my ribs.
“Stop, Hunter. It’s not like that. You can protect me and this isn’t your fault. No one knew that this would happen,” I say gesturing to my beat-up body. “But we do know that Drew will more than likely come back for me, so we have to be proactive. It’s not that they are better or stronger than anyone, but they do seem to be more powerful in this city, and that’s what I need. I need someone who is matched with the Remingtons'. You understand that, right?” I ask as I brace my hands on his shoulders, stopping his movements.
He looks up at the ceiling, breathing deeply before speaking. “Yeah, I do,” he grunts.
“Are you just worried about my safety with the boys? Because of who they are?” I hedge.
He shakes his head and laughs morbidly. “Yeah, sure. I’m just worried about my best friend staying with some fucking powerful ass thugs,” he murmurs, as he takes a step away from me.
“Do you want me to ask if you can stay here too? Maybe that will-,” I start before he interrupts.
“Fuck no, I’m not staying here with them!” he shouts, confusing me further.
“I don’t understand, Hunt. What do you want? What’s going to make this better?” I whisper.
He sighs and takes a moment to compose himself before walking over and hugging me tightly. “Nothing is going to fix this, babe. Nothing at all. I just want you safe, okay? And if you think the best place for you is here, and I can’t change your mind, then it is what it is. You talk to them, ask whatever you gotta ask. Make your choice and let me know,” Hunter says while giving me a final squeeze before releasing me. “I love you, Ella. Call me if you need me.”
“If I call, will you answer?” I ask, knowing it’s a low blow, and I don’t mean for it to be, but I have a sudden wave of anxiety that we’re leaving things on bad terms and I don’t understand why. I can’t go without hearing from Hunter again. I can’t. He cringes and squeezes his eyes shut.
