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"We're so fucked for this girl." I hear one of them murmur before a chorus ofyep'sring out.
Feeling is mutual boys, so fucking mutual.
Ella
“You’relate,”Nyxgruntsas I walk into the third-floor gym exactly 32 minutes after he stormed out of the kitchen. Really, it's a miracle that I pulled myself away from Gage and Maddox’s mouths long enough to get up here at all.
Instead of responding to his annoying barking, I take a moment to look around the room. The middle of the room has padded flooring for sparing and training. Weights and cardio equipment line the walls. So far, I’ve only used the treadmill but I’ve seen the guys use everything else at random times, including when I walked in on the Luna brothers fighting.
I sigh as the beautiful sight replays in my mind and fight back a shiver at the memory of what followed.
Nyx is standing in the middle of the room, wearing cut-off sweats and a tank with wide armholes that give a peek at his nipples. His full-sleeves of tattoos are on display and from the low-hanging tank, I can see there’s one on his left rib. I’ve never seen so much of Nyx’s skin and the sight makes me salivate.
His hair hangs in messy curls just below his ears and his beard has yet to be groomed. It’s curly and wild and I swallow the offer to trim it for him. He would probably just laugh in my face.
“If you’re done checking me out, we can get started,” he drawls, amusement clear on his pretty face.
Gritting my teeth, I turn to the big asshole and throw my arms out while jutting my chin. “Let’s go then, train me!” I snap. He grins, but it’s not a sweet look. It’s more of a taunting expression and my hackles immediately rise. Shit.
“How far did you get with Maddox?” he asks as he stalks toward me. I swallow and my brows shoot up at his rude and personal question. “Not in bed, Ella. In training,” he sighs like I’m an idiot to have assumed. I shake my head, annoyed with myself, but also with him because he knew what he was doing.
“Not far. I only had one class with him before the attack and I haven’t been able to train since. Well, I was supposed to, but we all know how the second class went.” I gesture in his direction consideringheis the reason my second training session was ruined. He has the decency to grimace and nod in understanding.
“Right, and what did Madd show you in your first class, so we don’t waste time in here.” I don’t know if he means that as an insult or not. Like spending time with me is a hardship for him, or if he just means that he wants to devote our time to important lessons. Either way, my jaw tenses as I explain what I’ve been shown thus far.
“Okay, that’s good. We can work with that. He did more on your first day than we usually do. But he didn’t do any hands-on and I think that’s what you need. You need practical situations and we always start with escape, before actual combat. We’d prefer our clients, especially the females, to be able to avoid getting in a situation where their attacker is close to them. So, escape first, run, and call the police after. With me so far?”
His voice has taken on an almost caring tone and it’s clear he enjoys teaching. He’s a natural. I nod, agreeing with the idea of staying as far away from Drew as physically possible.
“So the first thing we’re going to practice is what to do when someone grabs you by the arm. It can happen in public or in private but we most often see this when the victim is walking down a street or somewhere like a busy club, and the attacker reaches out and gets a good, relentless grip on their arm. I’ll be the victim first and you be the assailant. I want you to grab me by the wrist and hold on tight. I’ll walk you through what to do.”
Nyx steps into me and places his arm out for me to grab. I hesitate a moment, nervous about touching him. Why? I have no idea. Maybe because he hasn’t let me touch him since that day on the bridge. The day whenhecouldn’t get enough of touchingme.
I reach my hand out and grab onto his wrist, my fingers barely being able to touch. Nyx demonstrates what to do as he verbally walks me through the motions.
“First step is placing your fingers over theirs, like your wrapping your hand over the top of their hold on you, like this. Make sure you have a good hold on their knuckles. Then, you’re going to swing your arm, taking the attackers with you, leaving them in a bent-over position, with you now in control. Once they are where you need them, you’re going to wrap your other hand aroundtheirwrist. This immobilizes their entire arm by bending their hand backward. With your hold on them, push down, forcing them to their knees. From that point, you can release and run, or use some of the other moves we’ll work on later. Ready?”
Nyx eyes me with concern, looking for my approval and understanding before continuing. I feel nervous about all of this. As much as I want to learn, flashbacks of what Drew did to me and how quickly he had me on the ground, his body over top of mine, makes me want to curl up and hide, not fight. I hesitantly nod at Nyx, feeling anything but ready.
“It’s going to take some getting used to but I promise, the more you learn, the more prepared you’ll feel. We just need to practice. And remember what I said, don't hesitate. You need to find that fire inside of you, and hold on to it. Being afraid only gives your attacker an in. Be brave, always.” His sweet, soothing tone reassures me slightly and I hold out my arm for him, giving him permission to switch roles.
We practice the move at least ten times before Nyx feels I have a good enough grasp on it to move on.
“Same thing, I’ll show you first, then we’ll switch places. This next one is common, especially if he comes back for you. It’s a move abusers use regularly to subdue their partner and it may even be one he’s used on you before, so just hang tight and stick with me throughout this, okay?” I swallow hard and nod. Nyxon gives me a reassuring smile once more before continuing “If your attacker grabs you by the hair, the evasion technique is actually really simple, but most people’s natural instinct is to run.”
Nyxon pulls my hand up and rests it in his medium-length hair before squeezing my fingers, letting me know it’s okay to tug. It takes monumental effort to not rub my hands through his silky strands. Instead, I do as instructed, and pull. I swear to Jesus that I hear his muffled moan before his eyes squeeze closed. My body warms at his reaction but I do my best to hide my knee-jerk response of melting into a puddle at his feet.
“Okay, so,” he grunts out, sounding a bit tortured, making me grin, “when the attacker has their hand in your hair, their arm is locked out right next to your head. The goal is to use that to your advantage. Biggest thing here is to not hesitate. Swing the arm closest to their body forward, up and over, so that your armpit is overtop of their arm, like this.” He demonstrates the quick move which then has my arm holding his hair tucked beneath his sweaty pit. “From your arms new position, lift up, causing their elbow to bend backward. This will result in them letting your hair go and more than likely dropping to the floor. If you continue the hold on their arm, you can use your opposite hand to strike them in the face before running.”
Once again, we switch roles and practice. For the next two hours, Nyx shows me multiple moves that will help me subdue an attacker before running, and by the time we’re doing our final practice of the entire sequence, I’m feeling slightly better. It has taken me a bit to get comfortable with all of this due to my nerves and incessant flashbacks. They haven’t been enough to send me into a panic attack and I think that is solely due to Nyx’s calming words and reassurances.
But no matter what we do, or what he says, the biggest thing replaying through my mind is his hurtful behavior, especially the fact that he read my letters to him and has said nothing since. When I finally can’t take the tension from the elephant in the room, I snap.
Just Pretend-Bad Omens
“Why, Nyxon? What did I ever do to you to make you hate me so much?” I cry out when the rage and hurt finally explode. Nyx is walking me through a take-down technique but I can’t pretend to not be devastated every time I’m in his presence anymore.
Nyx drops his hold on my arm and looks at me, bewilderment all over his face as if my hurt is a surprise to him. He stares at me, mouth gaping open but says nothing for a moment before looking to the side and gritting his teeth. He crosses his arms over his chest and takes a step away from me like he can avoid the question if he’s not looking at me. I don’t relent, though.
