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And so is the moment.
Clarity washes over me like a bucket of ice water.
Holy shit! Did I almost just cheat on Maddox and Gage? I know they said it was okay if things progressed with Nyx or Stone but we never talked about it again.
My heart rate picks up for a whole other reason and the previous heat I was feeling is now replaced with cold, and dread. I can vaguely hear Stone talking quietly on the phone, but I’m too distracted by the need to run and the inability to do so.
“We have to go,” Stone murmurs as he begins unwinding my legs. “Are you okay?”
I nod, rubbing my eyes and forcing my breathing to calm once again. I had settled into an overwhelming relaxation for a short time when I was inside of the ropes but it was quickly replaced with lust and then once again with anxiety.
“If you liked that binding on your legs, I can teach you how to do it to yourself at home. But like I said, if you need me, just ask.”
Stone quickly unties both of my legs and helps me to sit up so my legs can stretch out. I watch from my perch on the table while he coils both ropes once again and hangs them on the wall.
“I told Gage we are getting Johnny Rockets on the way home. Strawberry shake?” Stone asks with a smirk. I huff out a laugh, shaking my head as he helps me off the table.
“How did we go fromthat,”I ask, gesturing to the table, “to talking about milkshakes?”
“Ice cream fixes everything, Isabella. Life is like ice cream,” he murmurs with a shrug.
“Enjoy it before it melts,” I finish. Stones’ eyes go wide in my direction, confusing me. “What?”
His face contorts in a look that I can’t quite decipher before he quickly shakes it off. “Nothing. I just didn’t know anyone else knew that saying,” he mumbles, looking uncomfortable.
I shrug, not knowing how to answer that. Instead of allowing myself to wallow in the anxiety of what might have happened or letting it put a wedge between us, I wrap my arm around Stones and lead him out of his playroom and toward the ice cream.
Apparently I will need to have a conversation with my boyfriends.
Fuck.
Ella
Aweekpassesandin that time, it feels like everything and nothing has changed.
My days are spent training with Nyxon on my self-defense skills or hanging out with Maddox and Gage when they aren’t doing Los Diablos jobs or working atThe Den, which I don't really mind because when they do, I get to go with them. I get to be their assistant or help out with things in the office. Sounds silly that those types of tasks bring me joy, but oh well. I get to spend time with my guys and get out of the house so it's a win-win.
I’ve even spent some time with Stone. He has surprisingly let me hang out with him when he's working in the Comms room. I find all of his coding and tracking skills to be incredible. He's taught me some things and I'm both surprised and proud to say that I've taken to it like a fish to water. It all just makes so much sense to me. We have a lot of fun together and things with him, much like the other guys, are just easy between us.
He’s been not only helping me with my anxiety but also teaching me different Shibari self-ties that I can easily do to myself on my limbs and even chest. I find the whole thing not only interesting but extremely relaxing. We haven’t talked about what happened the other night in his sex dungeon and I’m too afraid to be the one to bring it up.
What did that mean?
I have yet to gain the courage to talk to Maddox and Gage about it. I know I need to but the thought of that conversation freaks me the hell out.
Things with Gage and Maddox are easy and fun. We’ve spent time doing normal things like working out, cooking, and watching movies. We've even gone on some runs together. They both kick my ass but I can keep up for the most part. I’ve had more time with Maddox than Gage because he’s needed far more often for meetings with his father apparently. In the few hours that we do get together, Gage kisses me stupid and growls about not being able to wait much longer to have me but has yet to do a damn thing about it.
No matter what Madd and I do, we always end up horizontal and making out like teenagers or with his head between my thighs. Not that I’m complaining, but anytime I’ve offered to return the favor, he’s quickly changed the subject or said not to worry about it. It’s becoming frustrating, to say the least, and I don’t know how to force him to talk about whatever his issues are with me reciprocating.
All that I know is that if it weren’t for Maddox’s goal to‘see me squirt regularly’ as he so eloquently puts it, I would have massive blue ovaries. I never thought that I could be a person who craves and needs sex, especially with the fact that I often dissociate due to my PTSD from my childhood, but apparently, I just didn’t have the right partners. These men and their alpha-possessive tendencies are not only destroying my panties but my libido as well. The fact that none of them have initiated fucking me is actually driving me insane.
Apparently, I’ll have to be the one to do it.
Today is the day I finally get to go back to work now that I’m basically fully healed. I’m excited to do something that feels normal to me. I may just work at a coffee shop but it will be nice to talk to someone other than the four men who surround my life most every day. I enjoy interacting with strangers.
Gianna and Olivia came over to the house once more but when they spent the entire time gawking at the four gorgeous men I live with, I had to rescind future invitations. Listening to two of your best friends narrate daily tasks with sexual commentary like some x-rated version of Animal Planet and throw out sex jokes is enough to make you want to unfriend them in real life. Or punch their tits. Especially when two of said men are your literal boyfriends and the other two are your...somethingelses.
Oh, look at the tall, tattooed man-beast as he devours his food like it’s a deliciously wet pussy.
