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“Yeah, rescind. It means to take back,” I offer absentmindedly.
“I know what it means! I’m not stupid! It’s just like,” he shrugs, his hand flapping in exasperation as he thinks. He snaps his fingers, “A ten-dollar word!”
My brows furrow. “A what?”
“You know! When someone uses a big word randomly. It’s like,‘wow, that was a ten-dollar word’.” He says, his voice filled with pride.
“Are these things actually coming out of your mouth right now, Eli?” Rubbing the space between my eyebrows, I squeeze my eyes shut in an attempt to keep the headache forming, at bay. Straightening, I level him with a serious look, wordlessly telling him that I’m not fucking around anymore.
Eli grits his jaw, but nods. “I fucked up earlier, Violet. I shouldn’t have just shown up randomly while you were at work after all this time. I just really wanted to see you and talk to you. I shouldn’t have run out that way either. You just--,” he breaks off as he struggles with his words. I take pity on him.
“You don’t need to apologize for that, I do. I’m so sorry, I know that’s not something to joke about. In my defense, I honestly thought that you’d run for the hills after I dropped that bomb.”
“After you said you were pregnant?” he shouts and immediately winces when he realizes his harsh volume. Looking around, I find a few people watching us. I roll my eyes, already knowing what types of rumors Eli just inadvertently created. Awesome. “You thought that you could tell me you’re pregnant with my kid and that I would walk away from you? Seriously?”
His quiet question is filled with pain and sadness. The heartbreak on his face softens something inside of me, some of the previous hurt and resentment. I feel the wall I’ve erected around my heart, faintly crack. I feel bad for assuming the worst, but really, he can’t blame me.
“For one,” I start, trying to stick to my anger at this entire muddled situation. “It wouldn’t beyourkid.”
His brows furrow immediately. “What are you talking about?”
“You only fucked my ass, so it couldn’t be yours.” I shrug my shoulders, fighting the urge to play with my messy Dutch braids as discomfort settles over me. This seriously made way more sense in my head, but I guess my head can’t be trusted. It is the one that came up with the idea to pretend to be pregnant in the first place.
Eli stares at me, his eyes heating in anger within seconds. He closes the small amount of distance between us, his fists squeezing at his sides as though he’s trying to stop himself from grabbing me.
“Little Flower,” he growls, “let’s get one thing straight, right now. You fucked all three of us that night and if you had actually gotten pregnant, that kid would have been just as much mine as it would have been theirs, make no fucking mistake in that.” He heaves out a pained breath before continuing. “And while we’re at it. I covered your body in so much of my cum that night, I never once questioned the possibility. Why and the hell would you think any one of us would have abandoned you or our baby?”
The intensity in his gaze as he awaits my answer makes my stomach roll painfully. He’s serious. So damn serious about stepping up and taking care of me and this metaphorical kid. I’m not sure if I should swoon, or run for the hills.
But, he’s forgotten one seriously important fact…
“Eli,” I say softly. “I am so sorry, I really am, but what would you expect me to think? You walk out, it’s what you do, all three of you.” Even though my words were spoken in a near whisper, I know they struck a chord with him.
His face falls and I see regret fill his eyes before he quickly blinks it away. “We really don’t know each other, do we?” he murmurs. I shake my head. He stares at me for a long moment before extending his arm and offering me his hand. “Can we change that?”
A question.
An offer.
Taking his hand would mean something, it would change things. Taking Eli’s hand means opening myself up and possibly getting hurt again. It’s a risk, and it’s scary as hell. Could I do that? Withstand yet another blow to my heart? I honestly don’t think I can.
Pushing aside the negatives, I think about the alternative. Taking his hand would also mean starting over, giving us a chance to get to know one another. Maybe even to explore things between us.
But, there’s also a third possibility. By taking Eli’s hand, I could maybe get to know him a little bit, enjoy some killer, earth-shattering sex, and then…
Then, I’ll be the one to walk away.
Smiling at that idea, I lock my plan into place and reach for him. This time will be different. I’ll keep my feelings out of it, use them the way they used me, and then I’ll break their hearts like they deserve.
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
Aftercollectingmybelongingsand shrugging into my thick white hoodie, I allow Eli to lead me outside. The parking lot at this hour is almost completely empty and my tiny pink car stands out like a sore thumb. It’s after nine and if it weren’t for the large lights illuminating the area, I’d likely be nervous being out here with just Eli.
“Where do you want to go?” he asks, his hand still engulfing mine as he tugs me along. It doesn’t escape me that he’s walking us in the direction of my car. Mynewcar. What the heck? Yanking my hand from his, I whirl on him, causing him to abruptly stop in his tracks so he doesn’t mow me over.
“How did you find me, Eli? How did you find my business earlier today? How did you know that I’d be here tonight? And how the hell do you know which car is mine?” I stare him down, my gaze, unyielding.
He ducks his head and has the good sense to look ashamed. “We knew your full name back from before, from your registration papers at our gym. Your address, phone number, place of business, and emergency contacts were all on it.”
