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I figured that if things worked out with them, there would be many steps and private conversations before he’d take the leap and bring her into our world. I knew Renz would rebel against the very idea but thought that Eli would at least have the decency to make it a group conversation rather than a reckless, half-cocked plan.
Does she only want him?
“I’m fine,” he murmurs into my hair before kissing the top of my head. It makes my gut clench with both enjoyment and irritation. I may be smaller than him and willing to submit to the forced hug, but the rest of my overwhelming and messy emotions are too much right now. I squeeze him once more before shoving him away with a glare. A wave of pain crosses his features before he masks it with his usually cocky grin. My gut clenches once more.
He shoots me a wink and turns to face Renz. “Have anything to add about my apparent fuck up, brother?”
Renz grunts and rolls his eyes. “As much as I’d like to jump in on that, I’ve no doubt that Zac will punish you fairly.” Eli chuckles at that and waggles his eyebrows in my direction.Oh, he has no idea what I have planned.“We have other things to discuss. Sit down.”
I bristle at the bite in Renz’s command but drop my ass down in a club chair across from him anyways. Eli follows suit, sitting down next to me, his jovial demeanor gone now that he senses the shift in the room.
“You are not the only one who was attacked today, Eli. It seems that whomever these men are, they’ve decided to pick us off individually.” Eli’s head whips in my direction as he quickly scans me for injury. Again, my heart warms, though his concern is unnecessary. When he meets my eyes with a cocked brow, I jut my chin at Renz who despite the earlier attack, is seemingly unfazed and unharmed.
“What happened?” Eli demands, his face uncharacteristically serious.
My cousin’s mouth tilts up briefly before he blows out a heavy breath and begins to recount his evening, leaving nothing out. When he’s finished, Eli tells us all of the details he’d left out earlier for Violet’s benefit. By the time they’ve finished, I’m vibrating with barely contained rage and I have to actively remind myself to breathe.
Renz looks between the two of us speculatively for a moment before giving one definitive nod. “We cannot change our mistakes today, but we can learn from them. From here on out, no one leaves without a protection detail. Whomever these men are, they aren’t completely inadequate, but they are sloppy, and they clearly don’t give a shit about exposure. However, we do. We must continue to keep things as private as possible. If these attacks continue to be so public, the city will fall apart, and we will draw far too much attention to our private affairs.”
“We will also need to speak to our men. Paulo informed us that there were seven other attackers at the barbershop today and all of them were killed. We need to bring the men into this, maybe not fully, but they need to be aware of the situation,” I add, thinking of the fact that seven dead means seven fewer opportunities to interrogate.
“There is no way they haven’t put it together yet,” Eli interjects, his brows furrowed as he rubs his chin in thought. “Most of our men have been here since Francesco’s time and I know they were treated like shit but I’m sure some of them were loyal. Do you think they still are? Even though he’s dead?”
I consider that. It’s possible that some of our guards and soldiers are still Francesco’s at heart, but it seems pointless in my opinion. “To what gain?” I murmur. Eli cocks a brow, wanting me to elaborate. Leaning back in my chair, I steeple my fingers beneath my chin as my mind runs through the possible scenarios. “What would any of Cesco’s supporters have to gain from turning on us? None of them hold any power beyond being employed by us. They do not stand to benefit from Renz’s death in any way, shape, or form.”
Renz’s forehead creases in thought. We’d not even considered the idea of dissension within our own ranks which is honestly quite negligent considering the situation Gage and his men are dealing with. The Los Diablos have dealt with a significant amount of discord within their ranks, to the point that some of the members have turned on them, putting their lives as well as Isabella’s, in danger.
Eli sighs, “Honestly, I’m beginning to think that the reasons don’t matter nearly as much as who is behind all of this and we won’t know until we catch one of the fuckers and force the answers out of them.”
Renz and I’s gazes meet across the desk and a calculating if not slightly evil grin spreads over his face.
“What?” Eli grunts. “What am I missing?”
“Oh, nothing,” I say casually, shrugging one of my shoulders. “Renz just seems to have picked up a little souvenir on his outing today.” Eli’s eyes narrow in confusion only seconds before understanding washes over him. He barks out a loud laugh and slams his palms down on the desk as he rises.
“Well, fuck. What are we still doing in here?” he cackles, a bit of his mania peeking out. There are two things that excite him more than anything else: fucking and killing. God bless whoever he decides to fuckwhilekilling. It will be a messy, traumatizing sort of event, I’m sure. No doubt he will try to rope Violet into that scenario.
Violet.
“Wait.” The word flies from my mouth without my permission and I immediately want to stuff it back down. Both of the men turn to look at me, anticipation written all over their faces.Fuck, maybe this isn’t the time for this.Groaning, I press on, “Violet.”
Eli’s brows lift to his hairline and his eyes dart in her direction, despite the fact that there are at least four walls between us and her right now. “What? She’s fine. She’s exhausted, I doubt she’ll wake up while we’re gone.”
“I think what Zac is trying and failing to say is, why the fuck is she here?” Renz snaps, some of his previous ire coming out once more. I shoot him a glare.
“Actually, no. That’s not what I was going to say at all. We need to discuss this. Like civilized adults,” I add in the last part just as Eli’s body tenses as though he’s preparing to attack our leader. “Let’s be frank here. Eli wants to be with Violet and judging by the fact that she is here, I assume she feels the same.”
“Hopefully,” Eli mutters, his thick, pierced lips turned down in a frown. “She wanted to, before all of this.” His hands fly up to encapsulate our surroundings, though I’m guessing he means our lives and all that comes with them. I nod in agreement because who knows how she will feel in the morning.
Forcing myself to breathe through my turbulent emotions, I push forward, knowing what I need to say next is going to change things. The more I thought about my conversation with Eli last night, the more I knew that what I let slip was not a mistake at all. Eli has been in my life for more than twenty years. I know how he reacts to situations and as much as I’d like to hide behind the lies that I’ve concocted in my head, I was well aware that there was a good chance he would take my words and run with them.
Deep down, I wanted him to. I may be one of the most emotionally inept men in New York City, but I am not so foolish as to believe that my obsession with Violet will end if I continue to ignore it. If anything, my blatant refusal to acknowledge my feelings for her has only made them grow. I may not know how to proceed, nor do I know what will happen in the future, but I do know that I want her.
I want her.
The words tumble through my brain, gaining more power and meaning by the second. Looking up, I lock eyes with Eli. I love him. I’ve loved him for a long time. I’ve never had feelings for anyone as strong as those I hold for him, yet, when I think of her, my heart tells me that there is room for one more. That the two of them together might just be what I need in order to heal from a life’s worth of damage. With them, and my cousin, by my side, I might just find a way out of the darkness that has consumed me for so long.
Clearing my throat, I sit up, bracing myself for their reactions, whatever they may be, and address them both. “I want her as well.”
