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“We can make this work. This doesn’t have to be the end. I don’t want her. I want you.”
“I want you too, but we don’t always get what we want, Dean. She’s having your baby. Go home and be with her,” she says, forcing herself to smile at me. “Sometimes, no matter how much you love someone, it’s not enough, and you’re not meant to be. No matter how badly you want to be together, it’s not possible.”
“It’s always been you, Camille. There’s never been a moment when it hasn’t been you. You are it for me.”
“No matter how badly I wish I could, I can’t be, Dean.” She stands on her tiptoes and wraps her arms around my neck. “We’re toxic together. We’re stuck in an unhealthy cycle, and we can’t continue it anymore. You have unresolved feelings that you need to work out, and I need to focus on myself and my own healing.” She presses her lips against mine, kissing me with every ounce of passion she has. I wrap my arms around her waist, press my body against hers, and kiss her, savoring how she feels against me and how her tongue tastes in my mouth.
Our kissing is frantic; neither of us can get close enough or enough of each other. My cock twitches and hardens between us, poking against her soft stomach. She must feel it because she presses herself closer against me, groaning into my mouth.
Fuck this.
If she’s going to leave me, I need more than a kiss to say goodbye. I don’t give a fuck if her soon-to-be-ex-husband is waiting for her only feet away. He can keep waiting.
Leaning down, I grip the backs of her thighs and pick her up. She wraps her legs around my waist, and I quickly carry her toward the bathrooms. It shields us from Declan’s view to give us some privacy. The park bathrooms here are always disgusting, so I don’t go inside.
Instead, I press her back against the brick wall near the bathroom door. My lips trail down from her lips to her neck, kissing any piece of skin I can reach. She moves a hand between us and grips my cock through the thin fabric of my pants.
“Tell me you love me,” I rasp against her neck, inhaling her sweet scent into my nostrils, getting high on her smell.
“I do, Dean. I’ve always loved you.” Her voice is shaky, and I can tell that she’s crying. Raising my head, I press my lips against hers.
Breaking away from my kiss, she pushes against my chest and wiggles until I set her down. “Dean, I hope you know that I will always love you. You will always be a part of me,” she says, her lips curling into a frown as tears begin streaming down her face. Reaching up, I use my thumbs to wipe away the tears from her devastatingly beautiful face. “I can’t do this anymore.Wecan’t do this anymore. It’s so easy to give in to you, but I can’t because giving in to you means losing a piece of myself.” She kisses me one final time, our lips locked and lingering together.
Finally, she pulls away from me and turns, giving me her back as she walks away from me, taking my heart with her.
I remainin the park until Camille climbs into Declan’s SUV, and they drive away. Instead of rushing back home, I choose to take my time, walking home as slowly as possible, dreading having to walk through the front door. My lips are still swollen from kissing her, and I can still feel her lips against mine. A few of my knuckles are scraped from protecting her against the brick when I lifted her, but I can’t feel anything. I’m entirely numb after seeing her. Unable to process anything that happened.
Unfortunately, it doesn’t take long to get home. Once I do, I let myself in and head straight toward my bedroom, not even wanting to shower because I don’t want to wash Camille off me. I want her scent to remain on my body. It’s all that I have left of her now.
Sitting on the edge of my bed, I place my elbows on my knees, lean forward, and drop my head into my hands, my fingers tangling in my hair and pulling at the roots. The pain I felt when I left Cam standing in my driveway eleven years ago when I went away to school is nothing compared to the pain I feel now. It feels like a hole has been punched through my chest.
If this is how heartbreak feels, then I understand why some people choose to be alone and shield themselves from having to experience this. Watching the love of your life walk away from you, knowing there’s not a damn thing you can do to stop her, is a pain I wouldn’t wish on anyone.
My bedroom door flings open, hitting the wall behind it. The startling sound causes me to look up, my eyes landing on Karina, who stands in the doorway with her arms crossed over her chest and a scowl on her face. “Did you finally end it? Once and for all, is the affair over?” she asks, taking me by surprise.
She knows. How, I’m not sure, but she does. I thought I’d been discreet enough to hide it, but apparently not. I’m not going to insult either of us by denying it either. I can at least be man enough to own up to it.
“Yes, it’s over,” I admit painfully. Saying the words aloud is another painful stab to the chest, making the situation much more real.
Camille and I are over.
“Good. I forgive you for falling into temptation. You scratched your itch, and now it’s time that you put that foolishness behind us so we can move forward and finally be a family.” Karina has always been the type to hold a grudge over the smallest thing, so it surprises me that she so easily forgives me for carrying on an affair for several months.
For now, I don’t read too much into her quick forgiveness. I focus on what upsets me the most. “She wasn’t an itch, Karina,” I state, narrowing my eyes at her.
“Yes, Dean. She was an itch you needed to scratch. You did that, and now you’re home with me, where you belong.” I press my lips together, allowing myself the chance to think about my words before I speak.
After a long moment of silence, I open my mouth and say the words that I should’ve said years ago. “I want a divorce, Karina.” Her face pales, her arms falling to her sides; she’s taken aback by my words, surprised, though I’m not sure why. She knew this is where we’ve been heading for a long time.
“No!” she screams, taking me by surprise. She never loses control. “I’m your wife! You’re not going to leave me just because you saw that woman again! I’ve known for years that you’ve always been in love with someone else. I understood that I was your consolation prize, the one you settled for, but I didn’t mind because I have enough love for the both of us. I’ve been beside you, supporting you through everything, even moving to this horrible place to make you happy.” She shakes her head, narrowing her eyes and practically shooting daggers at me. “You’re not leaving me! I don’t give a flying fuck if you’re in love with her or not. You love me more, and I know you do!”
Quickly, I stand to my feet, rushing toward her. “Yes, I love her! I’ve been in love with her since the day I fucking met her! I will always be in love with her, regardless of if I can have her or not!” I roar, every single emotion I have rushing to the surface. I'm in love with her, and I always will be. There's no more denying or ignoring it. “I’m sorry, Karina, I never wanted to hurt you, and I do love you, but not the way you need me to. Not the way I love her. Not the way you deserve to be loved.” She raises her hand, her palm connecting with my cheek. My head snaps to the side with the impact of her slap.
“Fuck you! All those times you looked me in my eyes and said you loved me, you lied.” She scoffs. “Get the fuck out!” She’s angry and has every right to be. She wants me to leave, so I will. It doesn’t matter that the house is in my name and I’m the one paying for it. She can have it. I’m willing to call a lawyer and give her the house and whatever else she wants.
Regardless of what she believes, I do love her. I may not be in love with her, but I do love her. She’s stood by my side as I built my business, helped me through sleepless nights as I focused on my career, and now she’s carrying my child. Of course, I fucking love her.
Just not in that way.
