Page 27 of Our Way Back


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"Yeah, a plan when I was fucking fifteen and love-drunk on you! Do you not understand that life happens and things can change? Life doesn't go according to a plan you make when you're fifteen!"

"You married someone else! You had a baby with someone else! Don't twist this around and blame me. I meant it when I said that I only wanted you. That there would never be anyone else."

Fuck.I ruined our plan, but I don't regret meeting Declan even for a second because if I hadn't, then I never would've had Luca.

My stubbornness wants to challenge him and see how far I can push him.

If we're fighting, does it mean he still cares?

At that time, we hadn't spoken in six years, not since he left me when he went away to college. How was I supposed to know that one day he would come for me out of the blue?

We were foolish kids when we planned out our life. And sometimes, things don't always go according to plan.

"You were the one that wanted me to have a typical school experience and not sit around waiting for you. So, I did, but I got pregnant." I brush my hair out of my face with a defeated sigh. "None of this matters now. We're both married to other people, and we can't change the past, and I would never want to even if I could." My hands grip my hips. "I waited for you. I had hoped that one day you'd come back for me. I dreamed about it for so long. I dreamed about touching you, kissing you, making love to you in our special place until the sun came up. I wanted to spend forever with you." I stand and take a confident step toward him, placing my hands on his chest. "I waited and wanted you for so long, Dean. Then one day, I realized that you were right when you said not to wait and to continue living. There was a chance that you would've never come for me, and so many times, I wondered if you'd forgotten me, so I allowed myself to have fun and truly live for once without thinking of you. The next thing I knew, I was married and had Luca." I give him a sad smile. "I've loved you since I was eight years old, and I'd been waiting since then for our chance to be together, but it never came. We were silly kids, Dean. Time has never been on our side, and we never were meant to be. I'm not sorry that I didn't continue to wait for you because I had Luca, and I will never ever regret the decisions I made that led me to creating him." I pour my heart out to him, letting him see me wear my heart on my sleeve. It's time I close the door on my past for good and separate myself from him. It'll be hard considering we're working together.

As I speak, I see the realization that flashes over him, causing his hazel eyes to soften. "Of course, you shouldn't regret anything. I guess you're right. We had a stupid childhood crush and fooled ourselves by thinking we were made for each other." His eyebrows pull together, and I watch his jaw clench as if it pains him to get the words out.

We both know he's lying.

“Why did you marry Karina? Are you even in love with her?” I ask the lingering question.

“I married her because I love her. Do I love her the way I love you? Fuck no. Will I ever love anyone the way I love you? Fuck no.” He hangs his head. “For a while, Karina and I were good together. You moved on and got married, so I did too.”

Stepping away from him, I say, "Things between us now are strictly professional." We're both liars.

"Karina doesn't know anything about our past. I want to be the one to tell her before she finds out from someone else." I can only nod. He steps further away from me, grabs his blueprints folder, and walks toward the door.

He pauses with his hand on the doorknob, and I stare at his back, his shoulders tensing up.

"I never stopped thinking about you and our time together. I still remember every single minute that we've spent together, and I'm sorry things couldn't be different." Dean opens the door and walks through it without a second glance at me.

Once again, he leaves me staring at his back.

He leaves me behind, taking another piece of my heart with him, just like he did eleven years ago.

NINE

THEN

Camille,13 years old

“Wow! Your parents bought you a car?” Dean’s parents purchased him a 2008 Mercedes G-Class for his birthday. The car came out earlier in the year, and Dean has been gushing over it ever since. His parents had previously told him there was no way they would buy him a car for his birthday, but surprise. The proof is in his driveway with a big red bow on the hood.

“They sure did! They gave it to me this morning.” He smiles ear to ear, and I know mine mirrors his. I’m just as excited as he is. Dean finally has a car of his own, and not just any car. A brand-new car he’s been wanting for months.

“Well, congrats, you deserve it. I’m happy for you!”

“Thanks, now get in.” I don't need to be told twice. I race to the passenger side and climb in, watching through the window as Dean removes the bow and then joins me inside the car. He inserts the key into the ignition and brings the car to life, whistling at the engine's sound. He shifts the car into reverse, and then we’re pulling out of his driveway, all the while beaming at each other.

Dean drives us to an ice cream shop, where we order a banana split with two spoons to share. We sit on the outside patio shoving ice cream in our faces.

“I still can’t get over the fact your parents bought you a car and are letting you throw a party tonight.” His parents agreed to let him throw a party with friends from school to celebrate his sixteenth birthday.

According to Spencer, half of their high school is coming, and apparently, it will be wild. I doubt it will be wild, though, because Dean doesn't like parties. He has always been invited to them, but like me, he thinks they are stupid.

“Yup! And I hope you didn’t change your mind about coming. You know that it’ll only be worth it if you’re there with me.”

The unfamiliar ache in my chest returns every time he says something sweet. “Duh, why wouldn’t I come? It’s my best friend's birthday. Plus, I have to make sure you don’t get drunk and end up kissing some girl from your class.” He laughs, but I’m serious. Dean is mine, and I won’t allow anyone else to have him. I’ve always had feelings for him. I’ve been in love with him since I was eight, and lately, my feelings have been getting harder to hide. I want to believe we’ll end up together like we sometimes talk about, but I worry that may not happen. Dean has so many girls after him, girls who are his age and better suited.

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