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The moment I click the green accept icon, I say, "Oh my fucking hell, guess who I just got off the phone with?"
"Tell me over lunch. I'm starving, and I'm downstairs." She ends the call. I grab my phone and purse and exit my office with a laugh.
Moments later, I'm downstairs, greeting my sister with a hug. We walk across the street toward a local café that we often enjoy for lunch.
We sit, and she gestures for me to speak. "Who called you?"
"Karina! She wants to go out tonight for dinner and drinks at a bar." She looks at me wide-eyed over the edge of her menu.
"Karina, Dean's wife? Is that a good idea? I thought you were going to let her down easy?"
"I was, but she needs a friend. I talked to Dean yesterday too, and he says that he will tell her about our history together, so that means I won't have to worry about her much longer."
"She might try to kill you." I laugh, knowing damn good and well it's likely.
"Probably. She might be angry at us both for not telling her sooner that Dean and I were once…" I trail off, unsure how to describe what Dean and I were.
"Best friends who were in love with each other but never got the chance to officially date? That you were each other's first kiss, and he was the one that popped your cherry?" Spencer says casually, shrugging her shoulders while sipping her glass of lemon water.
She pretty much summed it up. "Exactly. It's complicated, but it's in the past. Now we're just working together."
"Yeah, working together to design the building he planned for you years ago, and at the exact location he chose. Camille, do you still have feelings for Dean?"
I sigh, setting my menu on the table and placing my elbows on top of it. My head falls into my hands, and I close my eyes, shaking my head. "Fuck, Spencer. This situation is fucked up.”
"What happened yesterday?" I tell her about the entire conversation between Dean and me in my office. "You're married, and he's married. What do you think can happen between you two?"
"Nothing. Nothing will happen. It's just a childhood crush that was reignited because I saw him again, eleven years later, and now he's happily married, and I'm not." I wonder how many times I'll have to convince myself that I no longer have feelings for Dean. "I haven't seen him since the day he left for college. When he left, we were in love and preparing for our future. Now, I don't know what I feel. You know what I went through after he left." I sigh, unwilling to think about what happened to me and what I went through after Dean left for college. The memory is too painful, and I've buried it so far down and haven't told a single soul since. Spencer is the only one who knows my secret. "It's hard to see him after all that happened."
"I know, little sis. You were such a wreck, so I can only imagine what you're feeling now that he's back in your life."
"I'm trying not to think about it. It's in the past, and we're different people now. It'll be fine. Nothing will happen between us. We'll finish working together, and then we'll return to being strangers."
"Your building will probably take a year, maybe even longer. That's a long time to spend working with the love of your life."
Fuck. I hate when Spencer is right.
What am I getting myself info?
The rest of our lunch is spent with light and easy conversation, completely avoiding anything involving Dean and Karina. I pay the bill, then hug my sister goodbye after she walks me back to my office so I can return to work.
The rest of the day, my head is in a foggy haze. I can’t focus, still replaying my conversation with Dean yesterday and Spencer at lunch today.
I'm now mindlessly working on the designs for my fall collection when my phone pings with a new text.
Karina:Bar Maroon tonight at 8 p.m. Meet you there.
I send her a thumbs-up emoji,then turn my phone off and return to work.
At 5:30,I pull into the parking garage and ride the elevator up to my condo. I let myself inside, kick off my heels and undress while I walk down the hallway toward my bedroom. I fill the bathtub, tie my hair in a bun, and climb into the clawfoot tub, submerging my tense body into the hot water.
I remain in the bathtub until the water goes cold, and my body turns into a prune, and still I’m not relaxed. There's no way I'll be able to until after my dinner with Karina.
As time gets closer, so does my worry.
Instantly, I begin to question if Dean has told her about our history yet. If he has, then why does she want to go out tonight? To confront me? To warn me to stay away from her husband? Oh God, I’m making myself paranoid with what-ifs. The only way to find out for sure is to go. But I need to know before that.
Stupidly, I grab my phone and send a quick text to Dean while I dry myself off.
