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The realization that I am comparing Declan, my husband, to Dean hits me like a slap in the face. It makes me sick to my stomach at the thought.
“Come on, let’s go home.” I remove myself from him, but he keeps hold of my hand. I lead us to my car and drive us home.
An hour later,we arrive at our complex and ride the elevator up to the floor of our condo. Declan had talked the whole way home, telling me about rehab and everything he learned and the people he met. I was too lost in my head to pay attention to him. I felt horrible for not giving him proper attention, but I didn’t feel bad enough because I still ignored him.
“Are you hungry? I can make us some lunch,” I ask once we step inside our condo, eyeing him cautiously as he enters our home for the first time in three months.
“No thanks, babe. I’m going to take a shower and then have a nap.” I nod. We are standing several feet apart, staring at each other like strangers. It’s like we don’t know how to act around each other anymore. “Join me for a shower?”
“No, you go ahead. I’m going to order some groceries for delivery so I can cook tonight. Is there anything specific you’d like?”
“Steak sounds good.” He kisses my cheek, and I nod. He winks at me, taking his duffle bag into our bedroom.
My phone pings in my purse, and I dig it out just in time to see a new text.
Dean:Let's grab lunch? I’m in the area.
Me:Can’t. Busy.
The three textbubbles appear and disappear seconds later. I sigh, turning my phone on do not disturb.
Warmth floods between my legs, and I can’t tell if it is because of Declan or Dean.
Fuck it.
I walk into my bedroom, strip naked, and join Declan inside the large walk-in shower, my arms wrapping around his waist from behind.
"There's my girl." He adjusts the temperature. “Changed your mind?” He turns to face me, a smirk spreading on his lips.
I look up at him, really look at him. My heart beats in my chest, my core flutters, and I know it’s Declan that I want. I want his body, his touch, only him.
At this moment, at least.
Our lips crash together, and moments later, he’s filling my heated pussy with his hard cock that I’m all too familiar with. Declan and I may have our many issues, but one thing we never had a problem with is our sex life.
There’s always been pure heated passion between us. Communication may not be our strong suit, but fucking sure as hell is.
Our bodies move in perfect sync, and in no time, I’m reaching my orgasm, biting down on my hand to muffle a scream.
I barely have time to come down from my state of bliss when Declan carries me into our bedroom and spreads me out on our plush king-size bed. With my legs on his shoulders, he stands on his knees, grips my hips, and impales me back onto his cock, knocking the air from my lungs.
After two orgasms and a promise for a third, I wrap myself in my bathrobe and order our grocery delivery while Declan returns to the bathroom to shave the beard he grew while in rehab.
“Groceries will be here in about an hour. I ordered a few things that I know you like.” He walks into the bedroom, still in his naked glory. Gently he takes my hands and pulls me up to him, his arms wrapping around my waist.
“I’m so sorry for everything, baby girl. I’m better, and I’m home now. I’m going to be the husband you deserve.” He rests his forehead against mine, his eyes staring into mine. I wrap my arms around his neck, offering him the best smile I can muster, wishing I could believe him.
The truth is, I was unhappy long before Luca died. I couldn’t pinpoint the exact moment I became sad and fell out of love, I just knew it happened. I don’t love him the way I should.
Not anymore, and I haven’t for a long time.
I wasn’t always unhappy.
At one point, I believe I was in love with him, but that hasn’t been for a while. For years, I’ve been living solely for our son. He’s the reason I stayed. And now… now I realize how unhappy I truly am. I don’t want to continue living the way we were.
Not living, but merely existing under the same roof.
“Are you okay?”
