Page 64 of Our Way Back


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What if one of us gets sick and dies or gets hit by a car and dies? I wouldn’t want either of us to die without ever experiencing life. My parents told me how important it is to experience things while you’re young, and I want the same college experience they had.

They were high school sweethearts and broke up for two years after graduation to have freedom and the college experience because they were so young. After two years, Dad transferred to Mom’s college, and they got back together and have been together ever since.

“I must mean nothing to you if you can leave me so easily.”

“It’s not going to be easy, baby. But it’s necessary. I'm letting you go so we can each have school experiences while we’re young. That way when we’re older, we won’t have any regrets and wonder what if.”

“You don’t even know if you’re going to get accepted.” She crosses her arms over her chest.

“Even if I don’t go to England, I’m still leaving the state.”

“If you stay, it’s easier for us to call and text.”

“No, Cam, baby, come on.” I reach for her, but her stubborn ass takes a step away from my reach.

“Go fuck yourself, Dean. You’re breaking up with me because you want someone else, but you want your conscience to be clear by saying this is for the best.” The first tear rolls down her rosy cheeks.

I cross the room toward her and take her body into my arms just in time for her to fall apart, violent sobs shaking her body.

“That’s too long to be apart, Dean. I can’t do it. Please don’t make me do it.” She looks up at me through her wet lashes.

“I love you, and I’ll only ever want you. I promise I will come back to you. Live your life without me. Don’t just count down the days waiting for me. Wherever you are, I’ll find you,” I promise. Honestly, I don’t know if my plan will even work. It’s a long time, and who knows if she’ll find someone else and fall in love during that time. There’s no telling what can happen between now and then.

Regardless of whatever happens, I will come back for her. I will find her wherever she goes, even if she’s moved on. She’s my best friend, and that’ll never change.

If one day I come back to find she's moved on and is truly happy, I'll respect that and let her be. As painful as it would be to see her happy with someone else, I'd never want to take that away from her. I've always only wanted to see Camille happy.

"You'll fall in love with someone else. You'll move on and forget all about me."

"It's not possible for me to love anyone the way I love you. I will be back for you."

“Promise?” She holds up her pinky, and I hook mine around hers.

“Promise.” We seal the promise with a kiss.

It’s a promise I plan to keep.

TWENTY-TWO

NOW

Dean

The moment we returned home from dinner last night, it was a complete shit show. Karina went straight into our bedroom, slammed the door, and stayed inside all night. I didn’t pressure her to let me in or even try to talk to her. I was too fucking pissed about her outburst; I didn’t want to risk talking to her and saying something I didn’t mean. Or worse, something Ididmean but needed to wait to say until the right time.

While she was locked in the bedroom, I dealt with the aftermath of what happened at the restaurant. It took a pretty penny, but thank fuck, the manager agreed not to call the police. The four of us were also banned from ever returning. If the police would’ve come, Camille likely would’ve been arrested for assault.

I tried sleeping on the couch that night, but the look on Camille’s face when Karina brought up her son kept flashing through my mind, haunting me every time I closed my eyes.

Everything is so fucked up right now, and Karina and I are balancing on a fucking ledge that I’m ready to jump over.

Day by day, I’m feeling further and further away from her—and from myself. We’re overdue for a conversation about our future, a conversation that we started three years ago but didn’t get to finish because we found out she was pregnant.

Funny how that worked out.

One day you’re resenting your wife and dreading the thought of coming home, ready to ask for a divorce, and the next day you find out she’s pregnant and resent her even more. You resent her but love her because she’s carrying your child and all you want to do is be the best father you can possibly be.

I’m a terrible husband and a complete fucking joke of a man.

Source: www.allfreenovel.com
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