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I know Spencer’s views on affairs. I was there for her every time she was cheated on in the past by several boyfriends. My sister hasn't had any luck in her adult life when it comes to dating. The longest relationship she's had was with Dallas in high school, and I still don't know why they broke up. Spencer doesn't have sex with strangers. She likes to take her time and get to know the man, and the men she's dated weren't interested in waiting for sex, so they cheated. After the third time being cheated on, she practically gave up on dating. Now, instead of going out and looking for love, she spends all her free time at her art gallery.
As for me, I have zero remorse for sleeping with another woman's husband.
What kind of person am I? What kind of person sleeps with another woman's husband and doesn’t give two fucks?
Dean stood at the altar and made vows to this woman, vows to love and protect her, to cherish her and be faithful to her.
I made those same vows to my husband.
My marriage may be failing and nearly over, but that doesn’t make what we’ve done okay. I’m a piece of shit, and so is Dean. And we’re doing a very shitty thing and hurting two people who don’t deserve to be hurt.
Can I stop? Do I want to stop?
Honestly, no. I don’t, because I love him. I’ve always loved him. Even though he’s not mine to love anymore, I still want him.
We’ve never discussed what would happen if he leaves Karina, same as we’ve never discussed what happens after me leaving Declan, but I think it’s time we have that conversation. As soon as I get back from New York, we will need to sit down and have a serious conversation. There’s no way we can continue with what we’re doing. We owe it to ourselves to make a decision.
Either be together for good, or let each other go, but no more in between. I can’t do it anymore. I’m trying to move on with my life, and being in bed with a married man isn’t allowing me to move forward.
As much as I love him, I must choose myself.
After leaving the restaurant,I go straight back to my office just in time for my meeting with Sadie. I’ve previously told her about my ideas for modern theme décor, and she’s been working hard to fulfill my exact vision.
Our meeting today is to review the final designs so she can begin ordering furniture, since some items will take a few months to arrive. Everything needs to be completed by the time I’m ready to open, so the final decision must be completed today.
Sadie has always been on time for every meeting, so when there’s a knock on my office door, I don’t bother getting up; instead, I yell for her to come in.
“I’m a genius, and you must see this. I’ve got everything completed.” I appreciate the fact she doesn’t waste time with small talk. She always gets straight to the point.
If you would’ve told me years ago that Sadie fucking Marshall, my freshman year bully, would be my interior designer, I likely would’ve laughed in your face and flipped you off.
Thank fuck people can change.
Sadie walks across my office toward my desk and holds her iPad out, showing me the 3D designs she’d been working on.
She’d worked with Dean’s blueprints and his 3D design to show me what my building will look like once it’s completed.
Inside the virtual 3D building, she’d decorated each room and is now giving me the virtual tour and showing me room by room what it will look like. She's taken all the furniture and items we’d discussed and decorated the rooms to show exactly how it’ll look.
I can no longer say anything bad about her because holy damn. She captured my vision perfectly, and now I’m fucking speechless. She’s captured everything I’ve ever envisioned, and seeing it all in 3D in front of me is a surreal experience.
My vision is coming to life, and I couldn’t be more blessed and prouder of myself for making this happen. I’ve always loved drawing various clothing items and knew I’d be a fashion designer one day, but it still seems surreal that I’m living my childhood dream.
Childhood me would be fucking proud right now.
“Wow, this is incredible.” If she weren’t here right now, I’d surely be shedding a few tears. Yes, I have my New York office where my company was founded, but I didn’t build that building from the ground up like I’m building my Seattle location.
“It is, isn’t it?” Being humble has never been her strong suit. She’s good at her job, and she knows it. “So, shall I go ahead and submit the order? The couch for your office will take about four months to arrive.” I nod, watching as she clicks away on her iPad to bring up a new screen, showing what the total will be.
We’re thirty thousand over budget, which she told me previously, but I’m willing to accept it because I want the best. If I must cut into personal funds and eat ramen for a while, that’s fine. It’s worth it to have my dream location finally come to life.
“Go ahead and submit the order. The price is fine.” I sign for it, confirming my approval of the price and the items she will order.
“Perfect! I’ll submit the order once I get back to my office and email you the final confirmation details. We’ll be in touch.” With a wave, she leaves my office as quickly as she arrived.
For the remainder of the day, I busy myself with my management team from my New York office and the HR team, discussing my need for employees to fill my Seattle location. I permit my office manager to upload the job posting, and she agrees to send me the applications she likes since I want a personal say in who will be hired, and who I'll be working with daily. I have a few employees in New York who want to transfer to Seattle, so that, along with hiring new staff to ensure both locations are fully staffed, will be a long, stressful process. But I work best when under pressure. And at this point, being stressed is just part of my daily routine.
Clearly, another part of my daily routine is ignoring Dean because I don’t respond to one single text message or call for the entire day.
