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And the answer was I didn’t. Not at all.
Not anymore.
We were outside hers so quickly.
“I could pick you up in the morning,” I said. “Your car is at ours…”
She shook her head. “I can get a lift with Mum to the yard. I can sort out the car later.”
She didn’t unclip her seatbelt, and I almost wished she would, just to get this over with.
“I’m sorry, Carl.”
They always are.Maybe they can see the desperation. Maybe that’s why they’re always so sorry.
“The offer of the yard still stands,” I said. “You could rent it from me, just like you would Jack. That’s what I was thinking. That’s all I was thinking.”
She leaned over and kissed my cheek, and her eyes were wet. “You’re so much nicer than I ever thought you would be.”
“I don’t know if that’s a compliment.”
She smiled. “It is.”
“The same applies,” I said.
She squeezed my hand. “Thank you. Your offer was very generous.”
But you don’t want it.
“Goodbye, Katie,” I said.
She unclipped her seatbelt. Opened the door.
“Bye, Carl.”
My heart fucking pained as she walked away. Pain and fear and panic at the thought of Rick’s face as I walked through the door alone. His face as his calls rang to her voicemail, all because I’d spoken too soon.
Because he was right. He always is.
It was way too fucking soon.
I took a breath. Closed my eyes. Waited for my heart to stop fucking pounding.
She was staring at me as I opened them. Her face to the driver’s window. It made me jump.
She tapped on the window and I lowered it.
“You said goodbye. Not bye, or see you, or catch you later. You said goodbye.”
“Isn’t it?”
She pulled a face. “Do you want it to be? Is that how you work? No baby, no more Carl or Rick?”
I shook my head. “No, of course not.”
“Then it isn’t goodbye,” she said, and once again my blue-eyed girl surprised me. “I said I needed my own bed, to talk to my mum, maybe cry a bit. That’s exactly what I meant.”
“I hope so, Katie.”
