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“Yeah, I remember when you wanted to go.”
“He said we didn’t have no money for that. I was upset with him, Iris. All of my friends and classmates were going. We weren’t poor. I didn’t understand why not. I didn’t want to be left out. I begged him. I told him I don’t ask for much, and the one time I do, he say we ain’t got the money. But he ain’t have no problem buying his beer and cigarettes. Things like that. I badgered him about it. He decided to work on his days off the following week, to help get the money. He didn’t tell Mama why he was doing it. It was supposed to be a surprise, ’cause he was going to get her a necklace she wanted, too, and something for you, but he never told me what. He said I put fire under him.” She smiled sadly.
“Lily, I’m confused. Daddy worked overtime all the time. You don’t know for sure it was that specific trip, because—”
“Oh, I know… ’cause right before he was gone, he left a note under my pillow that said: ‘Daddy wants you to go to Atlanta and see the Martin Luther King Jr. Historic Site, and the Fox Theater.’ I was the main reason he was going that week, Iris. He was tired. Exhausted. But he was going to go on ahead and do it, because I kept pushin’! And pushin’! And pushin’! All so he could give me what I wanted. He said he’d be back in three days, and he’d have the money for my trip… I read that note and was so excited. I ain’t tell you or Mama ’cause I wanted y’all to be surprised when he brought your gifts home in a few days. Then, you and I came home from school, and later that day, Mama came to us screamin’ he was dead! I ain’t never tell y’all! I knew it was me! I was the cause! I was to blame! I killed my daddy! IT WAS ME! I KILLED DADDY! I KILLED DADDY! I KILLED DADDY, IRIS! I KILLED HIM!”
Lily started shaking, screaming, cursing. She flailed about, and her eyes rolled back. Then, she jumped up and raced towards the kitchen, Iris hot on her heels. The woman pulled a knife from the water in the sink and put it up to her throat.
“Lily, no!”
Ayanna rushed in, shouting, while Iris grabbed the handle and wrestled it from Lily’s hand. The woman was strong, despite being malnourished. She finally pinned her sister to the wall and they both slid down onto the dirty floor. Iris wrapped her legs around her, her adrenaline soaring. She pushed the knife across the floor, away from them, and held tight to Lily, forcing her to stay put.
“Ayanna, call 911! Tell ’em your mother tried to self-harm!”
It seemed like an eternity before the police and paramedics arrived. Everything afterwards felt like one big, horrible blur. Her heart pounding, she followed the ambulance in her car, Ayanna by her side. Iris was sweating profusely as her nerves completely unraveled. Ayanna called Jude, at her request, and he volunteered to meet her over at the hospital after the girl explained the order of events, barely able to get the words out. Iris insisted he stay at home until she figured out what the hell was going on with her sister.
At last, they arrived at the infirmary.
After a couple of hours, one of the doctors approached and said her sister’s blood pressure was extremely low when was admitted. She was also dehydrated, and anemic. He asked the typical litany of questions. Was she a drug addict? Any unusual stress? And so on. Lily was soon transported to a psychiatric unit after they got her blood pressure up and pumped her with fluids. At nearly one in the morning, After Ayanna had fallen asleep on her shoulder in the psychiatric ward waiting area, a large African American nurse approached with a clipboard.
“Hi, baby,” the woman stated with a kind smile. “I’m Nurse Katherine. Are you Iris? Lily’s sister?”
“Yes, ma’am.” Iris dabbed at her eyes, careful to not wake Ayanna.
“I thought so. You sure are nice-looking. I know you probably hear that all the time. You two ladies look just alike… such pretty sisters.”
“Thank you.”
Nurse Katherine looked at Ayanna.
“I’ll be right back.”
She returned with a blanket and draped it around the girl, then sat down beside her, and spoke in a hushed tone.
“I’ll talk quietly so as not to wake the child. First of all, Lily is okay right now. She’s stable and resting.”
Iris breathed a sigh of relief.
“I saw in her information that she was actually scheduled to come here for an evaluation next week. She made the appointment herself.”
“Yes, she and our mother had a discussion, and apparently Lily agreed to it.”
“Mmm hmmm, okay.” The nurse started jotting down things. “Lily had filled out some online information for us, and if it’s okay, since she listed you and your mother as the closest kin and gave us consent to speak to either of you in the event of an emergency, can I get you to verify some information?”
“We’ve been estranged lately, ever since I got custody of her daughter, but I’ll try.”
“Okay, I understand. We’ll do the best we can.” First she verified Lily’s full name, date of birth and address. Then, she went in another direction. “Lily stated in the paperwork that she had her first memorable hallucinations at about age eleven. Does that sound about right to you?”
Iris shook her head. “I’m sorry, I really don’t know. If she did, she didn’t mention it to me. We were real close back then, but maybe she was scared to tell me.”
The nurse nodded in understanding.
“No problem. So, let me ask you something about family medical history.” The nurse went on to question her about any record of mental illness in their family, hereditary diseases, learning disorders and what not.
“I can’t think of anything like that. I know we had a great uncle who had a drinking and drug problem, and a few of our cousins, too, but that’s all I can really recall. Oh, wait. I do have a little cousin, Kevon. He’s my cousin Anthony’s son. He was diagnosed with ADHD and manic episodes, I think they said.”
“Okay, that’s just fine. Let’s talk about the family life, your home.” The nurse adjusted her glasses. “Now, let’s see here, Lily said that your father was a truck driver, and your mother a homemaker. She stated that her father died in a vehicular accident while working.”
