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“Yes.”
“You are the one who always helps everyone else?”
“Yes.”
“You’ve got a savior complex?”
“What’s that?”
“Where you think you have to jump in and help people all the time, tell them what they’re doing wrong, give them advice, tell them how to live their lives, but you genuinely want to help. There’s no ill will involved. It’s not like you’re trying to bash them—that’s something else altogether. Your heart is in the right place, and you love hard.”
“I do.”
“The problem comes in when maybe you resent them if they don’t seem appreciative? Or, God forbid, they turn around and do the same ol’ mess again. That really gets your goat, don’t it, baby?”
“Damn. You all in my head. Yes, ma’am. It sounds bad, doesn’t it?”
The nurse chuckled and rubbed her back.
“Don’t beat yourself up, baby. I’m like that, too. That’s why I went into nursing. I think I even had a touch of what is called a martyr complex, when I was younger.”
“What’s that?”
“Well, I saw the behavior modeled in my home as a child, so I thought it was normal. Basically, Iris, it is when someone often plays victim when things don’t go the way they wanted, or they want to shine light on all the great things they’ve done, while others have done little to nothin’ for them in return. It’s a skewed way of thinking. It’s manipulative, too. However, like I said, it’s often a learned behavior. I went into nursing with that same attitude. Thinkin’ I could do right by folks, and they’d just love the ground I walk on. Silly me, nursing is a thankless job. So, I just started thanking myself instead.” Iris smiled at that. “I either do this job from the heart, baby, or don’t do it all. I don’t need nobody to thank me but God, and He does every time He wakes me up in the mornin’ to see another day.”
“Amen.”
“Okay, sweetheart, back to your sister, here. Lily claims to have had participated in prostitution. Did you know about that?”
“I never saw it firsthand, but I knew she was doing it. From my understanding, that was years ago, but it happened all the same. I tried to talk to her about it at the time, and offered to help, but it turned into a big argument. Lily has never liked being told what to do. I was worried about her, so I definitely said something.”
“Okay. Are you aware of any substance abuse problems she’s had with the exception of marijuana and alcohol?”
“Thankfully, I’ve never heard or seen any evidence of her doin’ anything hard, like cocaine or heroin.”
“Okay,” The nurse wrote some more on her pad. “Lily said she was the victim of a sexual assault by multiple men while attending a party, at age twenty-four. She never reported the crime. Are you aware of this sexual assault?”
“…I never heard about it… God…”
Iris snatched a tissue from her purse and began to dab at her eyes. She was screaming on the inside… falling to pieces on the inside… being torn apart, from the inside…
“You need a minute, honey?”
“No, I’m fine.”
“Okay. We’re almost finished. Lily said she was in a relationship with a man in which domestic violence occurred four years ago. Is that true?”
“Yes,” Iris stated tearfully. “That happened more than once, actually.”
The nurse kept going down the line, writing things and checking boxes.
“Lily said sometimes she hears voices…”Lily said… Lily said… Lily said…
The horrid catalog of instances, circumstances, and offenses went on and on. A laundry list of mishaps, misunderstandings, stretches of the truth, possible lies that Lily honestly believed, and gut-wrenching occurrences. Iris corroborated what she could and admitted what she could not. When it was all said and done, the nurse leaned in and held her. For a split second, it felt like Grandma was holding her, too. The nurse had a comparable smile, and their voices sounded similar, too. Finally, the woman got to her feet.
“Thank you for the information, Iris. You can go now. Lily needs to stay here, but I’m sure you already figured that out. We don’t share this information with anyone who isn’t authorized, so no worries about you and Lily’s privacy being protected.”
“You’re welcome, and thank you… thank you for being nice to me tonight.”
