AllFreeNovel
Share Us
“Well, we wanted you to know that we have her on video taking several boxes of unopened tissues we keep for patients and guests, as well as sanitary napkins, stuffing them in her bag while she was in the parlor area as you were filling out your paperwork.
“YOU AIN’T SEEN NO SUCH THING! I ain’t got to steal from the likes of you! What I need sanitary napkins fuh? I ain’t had a drop o’ blood in ten mothafuckin’ years! Callin’ up here lyin’ on me! Y’all should be ‘shamed of yourselves!”
“Aunt Blue, stop!” Iris waved her arms about as the woman tried to get the phone from her.
“Ma’am, um, Kari, I believe you said your name was, I am sorry about this. Perhaps there was some misunderstanding. I will—”
“Ain’t no misunderstandin’! They think all Black middle-aged women look alike! Could’ve been Whoopi Goldberg up in there singin’ ‘Sister Act,’ and they woulda said that was me, too, knowing we don’t look any-damn-thing alike! Seen one little darkie, you seen ’em all, right?!”
“Ma’am,” the woman’s voice wavered. “I’m sorry you feel that way. That was never my intention. It’s just that someone actually saw you and brought it to our attention, so we pulled the video and—”
Suddenly, Aunt Blue grabbed the phone and disconnected the call, tossed the thing down on the couch near Iris, then stormed away into the kitchen.
Iris closed her eyes, not knowing whether to laugh or cry. Aunt Blue had settled down rather quickly and was now humming some song while she banged pots and pans about.
“When are you tellin’ your mama the good news?” she called out.
“I don’t know yet. I need to tell Jude first. Then, I have to talk to Ayanna.”
Getting up, she yawned, then made her way to the restroom. As she sat there in the quiet, some things started making sense. Such as her sudden aversion to certain smells, the feeling of nausea in the afternoons, occasionally getting a bad taste in her mouth, and how Jude had said her breasts looked fuller as he kissed and sucked on them one morning.
According to the doctor, I’m about seven weeks along. Oh, my goodness. I don’t want to be huge for my wedding. We’re going to have to try and move this wedding date up.And then, she smiled. As scary and surprising as it all was, a part of her began to enjoy the idea.I got a bad taste in my mouth right now. Let me get some gum.She finished up and went to her aunt’s bedroom.
Entering Aunt Blue’s bedroom, she saw her aunt’s big black purse on her bed, flapped open. Aunt Blue always kept gum and candies in there. She began to dig through it and shook her head when she noticed the boxes of tissues and sanitary napkins. Iris cupped her mouth to squelch a laugh born of pure shock, not even understanding why Aunt Blue would do such a thing! She wasn’t a thief, and she wasn’t hard up. Menopause had come and gone for her, so why the pads?
Iris found the gum, then returned to the kitchen to find her cooking steak and eggs, with hash browns.
“I’m starving.”
“Sit down, baby. I’m making us something to eat.”
Iris pulled out a chair and sat down.
“I wonder why that lady thought that was you on the video takin’ things?” she probed, wanting to hear what tall tale Blue would spin.
“’Cause it was.” Aunt Blue pulled out a box of pancake mix.
“Blue! Why would you do something like that?” Iris feigned surprise, as if she didn’t see the proof for herself.
“I’ve started an eBay business on the side, girl! I’m an entrepreneur!” The woman chuckled. “I sell all kinds of things, like overstock shit from Big Lots ’nd such. Pantyhose, candy, foot powder, socks, bras, paper fans, plastic party stuff, and things like that. Last week, I made seventy-eight dollars. Ain’t that somethin’? And I only spent fourteen for the stuff. I keep it in a closet, then mail it out. I’ve got a 4.9 out of 5 rating from satisfied customers.”
“Aunt Blue, that’s great, but you can’t be stealin’ stuff from the doctors’ offices! Now, I probably can’t even take you in there again!”
“I ain’t worried about them folks! Do you know how high those doctors’ bills are if you ain’t got insurance?”
“That’s not the point, Aunt Blue.”
Damn, those hash browns smell good…
“And wait until you get the hospital invoice after you have this big-headed child! Them doctors is rich. They can afford to let me nip off some tissues and pads. It only cost them a few cents but can bring me in an extra thirty bucks. How you want your eggs, baby?”
“Over easy.”
“You got it.” Aunt Blue kept cooking and humming to the music, while Iris turned to the laptop that was sitting on the small table.
“Can I check my email on here, Blue? My phone is charging in the living room.”
“Yeah, go right ahead.”
