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“You did the best you could in an impossible situation,” he said. “You chose to stay and suffer so that she might have a brighter future. I can assure you that whatever feelings you experienced do not make you flawed. They make you human.”
His words did nothing to ease the pain in my chest. I felt like he didn’t understand, and I needed to prove he was wrong. That I was bad after all. Everything was my fault.
“I could have done better. I could have made someone listen.”
“You told me that you tried.”
“That wasn’t…” I shifted my weight in frustration and crossed my arms. “It didn’t matter.”
“Why?”
“Because they had no birth record of my sister, or any evidence that she even existed. When the social workers went to Ricky’s house, they couldn’t find her. He made her hide in a trunk and told them I was delusional. He said I had problems from the start, and he didn’t know what to do with me anymore.”
“And they believed him,” the priest murmured disapprovingly.
“This was in a state that still thought it was appropriate to arrest child prostitutes and lock them in jail. So, yes, they believed him. Ricky came to visit me and told me if I stopped blabbing, he wouldn’t hurt Birdie.”
“You did what you thought was best,” the priest assured me again. “It was an impossible situation. The people you thought you could trust failed you.”
I looked at the floor, my silver stilettos gleaming in the darkness like a beacon of sin. “And I failed her because, in the end, none of it mattered.” Moisture tainted my cheeks, and I didn’t move so I could pretend it wasn’t there.
“He touched her anyway.”
“WHERE ARE WE GOING?”
Lucian squeezed my hand and continued down the sidewalk. “You’ll see.”
I didn’t want to see. I avoided this part of town for a reason. The reason being, probably, that it reminded me of my past, and I didn’t like it.
For most people, Las Vegas was shiny and new with the promise of glitz, glamour, and sinful temptations. But there was a darker side that visitors rarely saw, and it was only a few blocks from the Strip. Past the blinking lights and costumes and constant noise, there were broken sidewalks and shattered dreams. And Lucian was leading me straight into the heart of it.
He came to a stop in front of a safe house with a sign on the door that read Haven.
“What are we doing?” I asked.
“Volunteering.”
He tugged on my hand to bring me forward, but I was frozen to the sidewalk. When his dark eyes turned to me, I didn’t know what to say. I had never done a charitable thing in my life, and though it was an admirable trait, I didn’t think it was one I possessed because I was presently struggling to breathe.
“I don’t want to go in there.”
“Gypsy.” I expected him to be harsh with me, but instead, he pulled me closer and brushed his fingers over my jaw. “You have nothing to fear. I will be right there in your sight at all times.”
“I’m not afraid,” I lied.
“Confronting our demons isn’t easy,” Lucian said tenderly. “But it is necessary.”
I wanted to argue that he didn’t know me as well as he thought he did, but it was wasted energy. “What am I supposed to do in there?”
“You’ll be able to choose,” he said. “Just come inside with me. Take the first step. Meet some of the women who live here, and if you still don’t want to stay after that, then we’ll go.”
“Really?” It felt like a trick, but he nodded. If I could leave anytime I wanted, I guess that would be okay.
“Fine. Let’s go.”
He kept me close as we walked inside, and on top of my own foot-dragging, I was still trying to figure him out. He was either a sadist who liked to dole out pain or a do-gooder who spent his free time volunteering, depending on who you asked. I wondered if maybe this was just another lesson for me until one of the staff members with a lanyard stepped forward to greet him by name.
“Lucian!” She smiled brightly. “How lovely to see you here again. It looks like you brought a friend?”
He gestured in my direction. “Nina, this is Gypsy. She’ll be helping out today too.”
“Hello,” she greeted me. “It’s so nice to have you here with us. I suppose since this is your first time, we should go ahead and give you the grand tour.”
Lucian nodded his approval, and we followed her around the shelter, my hand still clinging to his. The building was at full capacity, and it wasn’t very large, but it seemed like they made the most of the space they had.
There was a cafeteria, a common room, locker-room style showers, and a large open space filled with endless bunks that looked better suited to prison. I tried my best to avoid eye contact with the occupants, but it was obvious they had taken notice of me. Most notably, my dress and heels. My gut felt like it was full of lead when I snuck glimpses of their own clothing. Most of them were dressed in faded tee shirts, jeans that had seen far better days, or the occasional sweats with holes peeking out. Many of the women were young, Nina told us, but they didn’t look it. Their faces bore the scars of whatever wars they had endured with deep-set wrinkles and shadows carved into their skin.
