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I coughed and dug my fingers into his thighs, clinging to him while he dragged my face up and down the length of his shaft. I was simultaneously enchanted by the sounds of pleasure erupting from his throat and fueled by my desire to tell him to fuck off. But regardless of what my mind wasn’t sure of, my body responded to it. Between my legs, I was wet, and I wanted him inside me. I wanted him so fucking much it physically hurt.
“I think you want to push me away.” Lucian thrust into my mouth. “But I’m not going anywhere. And neither are you.”
A sound of defeat vibrated over my tongue, and Lucian released the chain around my neck to slip his hand down into my tank top, pawing at my breast.
“You’re too pretty for this,” he murmured. “You’re too pretty to have my dick in your mouth like this.”
He sounded tortured, and I was glad he felt it too. But I wasn’t about to let his morals get the best of him. Not when he relaxed his grip on me and started to question everything with his eyes.
I took his dick into my hands again and drank from him like he was holy wine. I worshipped him and tried to exorcise his demons. I bowed before him and offered myself to him in the purest form I could imagine. My complete submission. I needed to please him. I needed to be unpretty with his dick in my mouth and his come spilling down my throat.
I begged him for it, and he gave in, releasing in a violent catharsis as he exploded across my tongue. I swallowed what he gave me, and then nursed him for more until he made me stop, hauling me from the floor up into his lap.
He kissed me, and it felt dirty and wicked at the same time. I wanted him. I needed him. And he knew it.
“It’s your turn, pet.”
I waited for him to do something, to give me some instruction, but instead, he just stared at me with a wicked darkness that I felt deep in my bones.
“I’m going to release you.”
“HI, FATHER.”
My head dipped forward and guilt consumed me when I answered her. “Hello.”
Silence followed, and I didn’t know how long I could keep doing this. I knew it was wrong, but I also knew that I craved this. As difficult as her confessions were, I hung on every word. Outside, she had crafted a shell of togetherness, blending into society like the perfect chameleon. But inside, everything was broken, just like me.
“Why don’t you tell me what brought you here today,” I suggested.
The soft rapping of her fingers against the wood preceded her answer. “I’ve been having this dream lately.”
“What sort of dream?”
“It’s stupid, really.” She choked out a laugh for my benefit. “I’m walking down the aisle as if I’m about to get married, and I’m really happy.”
“What’s stupid about that?”
“It’s not in the cards for me,” she said. “The whole idea is ridiculous. I don’t want to get married. But in the dream, I think I do, and I’m really happy until I get to the end of the aisle.”
“What happens?”
“I see his face, and it’s always different, but the same. One of the Johns. And I don’t know their names, but I remember exactly what they did to me.”
Bitterness coated my tongue, and I wanted to tell her to stop. I didn’t need to hear anymore. That would be the selfish thing to do, but she didn’t stop. Once she opened up, the words flowed freely.
“I remember the way they fucked me. A girl who had barely sprouted boobs. They never questioned it. They just told me what they wanted. What they needed. But you know what? They never asked me what I wanted. What I needed.”
Her voice was shaded with quiet rage, and I wanted more than anything to take away her pain. I didn’t know why. I didn’t know how I’d become so hung up on this damaged girl and the intimate secrets of her life. But I collected them, and I kept them stored away in my memory, waiting for a day when the inevitable would happen. She would lure me from the path of righteousness. She would tempt my demons out to play.
“Does this make you uncomfortable?” she asked. “You probably don’t like to hear me say fuck, huh? You probably don’t know what to say when I tell you that I learned how to please a man long before I ever learned how to do basic math.”
“It’s your truth,” I choked out. “It’s not for me to silence.”
“It makes me wonder,” she said. “If there is a God, where was he then? Does your God want me to be powerless? Is that it?”
