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I nod.
But I’m not the same. I wanted Kayne to be here with me. His deliberate absence is making me mad and angry and I want to demand why he thought he could leave me just because Margo Henry, head of royal communications said so.
I also want to cry because I don’t know… I don’t know if he still loves me. I don’t know why of all the thoughts and reasons I could come up with for him not being here, the first one that comes to mind is that Kayne may not love me anymore.
Chapter Nine
Sophia
I don’t care what Margo says about Kayne staying away from me. She thinks a two-week separation before we announce our wedding will be sufficient enough time and by then no one will question my absence or link it to my bodyguard. She’s also planning my coronation for a week from now. Her strategy is to throw two huge events to cover up that one horrid event.
I know as Queen of Strohamden I’m meant to have an impeccable reputation, certainly not one tarnished by a madman who held me hostage and tortured me.
I plan to fulfill all my duties as queen to the best of my abilities. But I can’t serve my country if I’m not okay. I’m not going to be okay until I see Kayne.
I choose a dark blue dress. It demurely swathes my body and reaches just above my knees. Underneath I’m wearing a matching red panty and bra set made with lace and chiffon.
My body still aches five days later. The whippings on my back though are still a bit raw. Rachelle, my lady in waiting doesn’t question whether it’s safe for me to go out in the middle of the night. She knows me well enough to know I’m going to do it anyway.
My movements are slower, but I straighten my shoulders and walk with the regality I’m known for.
Igor has been permanently planted outside my door since I returned. I’ve seen two grown men cry since being back. My father and Igor who hadn’t disguised his sobs at my return.
He groans audibly when he sees me coming.
“Take me to him.”
“Your Highness,” Igor says at once riddled with tension at my words which he most definitely saw coming.
“You know you’re going to do it anyway.”
“But the last time—”
“Igor, please take me to him.” I slip into my cape. I’m not taking no for an answer.
Maybe it’s because I begged. Maybe it’s because he takes pity on the state I’m in, but Igor gives in.
He knows exactly where to find Kayne. The same place.
It feels like a déjà vu except for this time I feel older. Wiser. I know what to find behind that closed door. There’s not a flicker in my mind of doubt.But my thudding heart makes me aware of my still aching body, my back is still a bit raw. I didn’t have the slice marks covered up. I don’t want them to heal this way.
For the first time since it happened, I think about Roger Thompson and the dungeon of horrors he had set up for us.
No one in the world would ever know what had happened there unless I tell them. Margo’s ability to spin a web of false reality exceeds my expectations each time. But I’m Queen. I don’t have the same privileges as someone else. I don’t have the luxury of speaking up and speaking freely. But tonight I’m doing that exactly for my mind, for my body. So I can move on.
As Igor drives me through the quiet streets of Strohamden to the establishment where Kayne keeps a room for himself, it feels as if I might have had one long nightmare. Everything around me feels innocent yet only one man can make me feel safe.
I pull the hood of my cape over my hair before we exit the car.
Igor escorts me upstairs.
That sense of been-here-done-this hits me hard all over again.
Igor knocks once and announces himself.
The instant Kayne opens the door I slip into the room and remove my cape. I tell Igor not to wait for me. I insist he goes home.
Kayne watches the exchange but says nothing.
