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Or failing.
Her face lit up when I returned with two glasses and a bottle. I had caught that look of disappointment she was sporting before she saw me return. As if she had beenso sureI wouldn’t just leave the room and the conversation so abruptly and had been genuinely hurt when I did.
But if that’s what she was thinking, she was right.
I wouldn’t do that. Not to her.
So, either I was much too readable, or I had been more open with her than I thought I had.
The social graces I kept mostly to a minimum, but I made extra effort with her and for her. We had been thrust past any small talk and awkwardness and straight into an intimate situation. Not physically intimate, but emotionally and spiritually, which cut much deeper.
As I sat on the edge of the bed, I balanced one glass between my knees and flicked the cap of the bottle, sending it spinning and rolling onto the floor. Pouring in a small amount, I moved to hand Evie the glass. She glanced at the abysmally small amount of liquid in the tumbler and raised her brows at me. Rolling my eyes, which caused her to laugh again, I had to pretend that laugh didn’t send a tremble up my spine and an explosion of warmth in my chest, so I poured a more generous serving.
She thanked me as I handed her the glass and poured my own, leaving the open bottle at my feet by the bed.
Looking at Evie, I caught her as she finished a sip and licked the remainder of the amber liquid from her lips, grimacing only slightly.
“Yeah…” I said, taking a drink myself, “… it’s not expensive, not very smooth.”
“It’s just fine.” And she took a gulp as if to prove it. I had no doubt she could handle her liquor, but even she had underestimated the burn that stung her throat, and her face flushed as she held back a cough and her eyes watered.
I almost smiled, and I knew she saw.
“Come sit next to me,” she said.
“I am sitting next to you.”
It was her turn to roll her eyes and my turn to almost smile as Evie patted the bed next to her. “No, come sit next to me.” As I went to protest, she held a finger up. “It’ll make me feel less like a patient in a hospital.”
She tensed as I stood as though she thought I was going to crawl over her.
As if I could stand being that close, I had already had too many thoughts I shouldn’t.
So I walked around the bed and fell heavily onto the mattress, swinging my legs up and sitting next to her.
When she laughed, I raised my eyebrows at her. “You’re so stiff.” She giggled. My eyes darted to my pants in a moment of horror, and her cheeks flushed further. “I mean the way you sit.”
“Sorry.”
“Don’t apologize, just relax. You’ve already seen me naked, more than once, so I think we can just talk.”
“I’m sorry they hurt you.” I felt her stiffen next to me and felt bad at having said it at all, but I couldn’t help it. It needed to be said because I was sorry I wasn’t there to stop it and save her. “Did you think…” I continued, “Did you thinkIwas going to hurt you?”
She hesitated, and I already knew the answer.
“Yes.” She took another sip of her drink. “I didn’t have much reason to believe anything else.”
Nodding, I took another drink because I didn’t know what to say.
“Tell me about yourself,” she said after a while.
“Umm…”
“Where did you grow up? What do you do for fun?”
“I devote my time to helping people. There isn’t much time for fun.”
“There should always be time for fun.” She pouted.
