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Making my way over to the bed, I take my last pill with some water before making the bed. As I go to pull the sheets up, I notice the blood staining the material and embarrassment fills me. I don’t want to snoop through Talon’s belongings, but these sheets can’t stay on his bed. Neither one of us needs a reminder of how stupid we were last night. Going to his closet, I search until I find new sheets, pillowcases, and a comforter to put on his bed. Grabbing them all up in my arms, I head back to the bed and strip it before putting the new bedding on.
Once I’m done, I pick up all the clothes we knocked off the bed the night before and begin to refold them and set them in neat piles on the bed. There really is no rhyme or reason to how I’m putting them at this point since I’ll be choosing out a maximum of two outfits to take with me along with the body wash and a few other toiletries with me when I leave here. I don’t need a lot because before I know it I’ll be home and will have my own things to use. I’ll fit as much as I can into the purse they brought me and then pack my clothing in plastic bag or something. There is no need for me to take everything they got for me because I eventually have to pay the club back for getting me these things and I’m still not working to have money of my own. I’ve got a small amount in savings because I’ve been helping my parents out.
They both still work and cover almost everything, but every now and then people need help. I’m able to help them out, so I do with no complaints whatsoever. It’s my duty as an adult to help take care of the only two people in my life who love and care about me. They’ve done their best to take care of me and now it’s my time to return the favor, so they don’t have to work so hard. I want them to retire and settle down instead of doing more and working harder than they have to.
After folding and picking out the clothes I’ll be taking with me, I shove everything else in the plastic bags they came in from the stores. With one of the extra bags, I make sure to pack my outfits and set my purse on it so I know which one to take with me when I leave without digging through everything again. There is literally nothing else I can do in here as I sit on the bed, pull out a book from the stack of them and begin reading a new book I haven’t started yet. I’m so tired and sore from last and want to take a nap, but I don’t dare. There are still too many things I need to figure out.
I have the money in the purse the girls brought me. When I asked Hartley about it, she said they wanted to make sure I knew I had some money of my own and wasn’t being held prisoner here. It makes sense and I appreciate the thought, but I’m still being held here when I don’t want to be here anymore. I want to go to my dorm room and collect my things before the college gets rid of them and then head home where I can find out what’s going on with my dad and then help him get back on his feet.
My parents have never been in the hospital before. Yeah, they’ve been sick for a few days and then we moved on. To hear about my dad being there for a few days is not something I want to think about as I try to get lost in a world of bikers, sex, and everything this author has put into her story. I love to read, but this is the first time I’ve ever read about bikers, men in the mafia, or anything of that nature. Usually, I read historical romances and dream of living in those times. For me, fantasy has always been better than reality and reading is my escape. Now, I’m reading for a little bit of insight into the world I find myself in.
I realize the men and women in these stories have been written in a fictional aspect, but there has to be a small amount of truth in the story I would imagine. Still, it’s always nice to dream about having a man who would do anything for the woman he loves. To risk his freedom to ensure her safety and not thinking twice about beating a man up for hurting his woman. I’ll never have anything like that in my life; hence why it’s my escape.
I’m lost in my story when my stomach begins to growl alerting me to the fact I’m hungry. Setting the book down, I leave Talon’s room and head for the kitchen. The common room, bar area, and kitchen are completely empty as I walk through the rooms. If anyone wanted me to know where they were going, they would have told me. Shrugging my shoulders, I head to the refrigerator and grab everything I need to make a sandwich. I need to eat and get some sleep so I can leave in the middle of the night. Hopefully no one will be here, and I can sneak out.
Thinking of being alone here, I wonder if I should just make my move now. However, moving just right, my body still hurts, and I need to get a little bit of rest before I’ll be walking anywhere. I also should have asked someone the way into town because I’ve never been here before and I’m not sure of where I need to head. Or if there’s even a bus station in town so I can catch a ride home. Going back to making my sandwich and finding a small bag of corn chips in the pantry, I head back to Talon’s room. Thankfully, they have paper plates, so I don’t have to come back down here. My plan is to eat, read for a little while longer, and then get some sleep. When I wake up, hopefully before Talon or anyone else, I can get out of here and never look back.
I’ve been treated decently while being here at the clubhouse. It’s just not the place for me and I need to get out of here. With a plan firmly in place, I smile for the first time since waking up this morning. Plans are my thing along with lists. I have always made lists about things I need to do, what I need to get when I go shopping, and plans are always forming in my mind for what I need to do and what I want to accomplish. Now, I just hope I can sleep and not lay here awake with my thoughts running around like crazy.
WAKING UP ALONE in bed, a moment of panic sets in. Sitting up, I take in the open bathroom door, my door closed tight, and Bronwan not here. The clothes she keeps in a neat pile in the bags just outside of my closet are still there along with the purse the girls got her. If she left, she didn’t take those things with her. My heart races as I jump out of bed, grab a pair of jeans and shirt from the floor and head out of my room. I don’t stop until I’m standing in the doorway of the kitchen where most of the guys are sitting down eating their breakfast and drinking coffee. Bronwan is sitting all on her own at the back of the room with her eyes turned toward the table in front of her. We lock eyes for a second before I’m moving through the kitchen to get my own food and coffee. Never once do I look at her again.
If I thought I was confused yesterday, now it’s even worse. I’ve had a taste of Bronwan and don’t want to let her go. The thought ‘she’s mine’ plays on a continual loop in my head and has since I sank deep inside her last night. This is not where I need to be or what I need to be thinking. What I need to do is forget last night ever happened and try figure out where I go from here. Last night can’t ever happen again no matter how much I want it too. I need to stay away from her and forget anything happened between us.
Making a decision about what needs to happen now, I finish eating my breakfast and go in search of Lash. Not that I need to clear anything with him, I do want to let him know I won’t be around for a few days at least. Knocking on his office door, I wait for him to growl out in response before making my way inside.
“What’s goin’ on, Talon?” he asks, shoving away from the paperwork he’s doing and leaning back in his chair.
“Just want to give you a head’s up I won’t be around for a few days. I need to get out of here and clear my head for a while. If you need me, you can reach me on my cell, but I’m not goin’ to be answerin’ it every single time someone calls me,” I tell him honestly.
“Why now, Talon? What’s goin’ on that you suddenly need to get outta here so bad?” he questions me, his voice going kind of hard knowing what I’m more than likely about to tell him.
“I fucked up. Not goin’ into detail about it, but I did. Now, I need to get away and take some time to figure things out. So, I’m takin’ off and I’ll check in every now and then to make sure shit’s good here.”
“Talon, do you think my life is horrible now that I have an ol’ lady and kid on the way? What am I honestly missin’ out on?”
“It’s what you chose to do, Lash. I’m not you and I’ll never be you. You and I always said we didn’t want an ol’ lady or kids. They’re not in our future. We live and breathe the club life and all it entails. I like havin’ variety in my pussy and I’m not changin’ my status or givin’ up my freedom for anyone in this world.”
“You think I gave up my freedom? I don’t clear shit with Hart before I do it. She’s not carryin’ around my balls in her fuckin’ purse, Talon. When I get home after a long day at work and the stress of the club, she’s there to do whatever I need to help me relax. Even if it’s just lettin’ me unload my shit on her. Hartley carries my burden the same way I carry hers. I might not go to Jaded Outlaw now to see tits and ass, but I don’t need to. I’m the only one seein’ any part of Hartley whenever I want to. Not every single brother in the club has had her before and not a single one of you fuckers knows what she sounds like when I make her scream out in pleasure. If that’s not the most freein’ thought in the world, I don’t know what is,” Lash tells me, not taking his eyes off me so I know how true his words are. For him.
“Again, Lash. I appreciate your talk and lettin’ me know how things are for you. I don’t want or need that shit in my life and there isn’t a woman alive who can make me change my mind,” I tell him, standing from the chair in front of his desk and leaving his room without another word.
Heading to my room, the bathroom door is closed, and I can hear the water running. This is the perfect time for me to pack up a few things and head out. Yeah, I’m taking the cowards way out in not telling Bronwan I’m leaving, but I’m not sure I can see her right now. If I do, I might just fucking stay here and take her to bed again. My mind is jumbled fucking mess when it comes to her, and I don’t need to take her to bed again. No matter how much I want to. For the first time every single response I got from a woman under my touch, I wasn’t wondering if it was fake or real. With Red, there is no faking a damn thing. Every moan, scream, touch was all completely real and honest. It was her.
With a few changes of clothes, my gun and extra ammo, and everything else I need to take with me packed up in a backpack, I pull my wallet from my pocket and take out some money to toss it on her nightstand. If she needs to get something while I’m gone, she’ll have the money to just go get it. Bronwan isn’t going to ask anyone for anything. Not just because she’s not sure of herself here in the clubhouse yet, but because she’s shy as hell and spends more time with her head down and blushing than anyone I’ve ever met in my life. We don’t spend a lot of time around women who can still blush. Until Bronwan, I can’t even tell you the last time I saw a woman blush. Not someone in their twenties at least.
With one last look around my room, I know it’s time to leave. Walking out the door, I head straight for the main door and right to my bike. Not a single person calling my name matters as I ignore them all. Stashing my backpack in one of the saddle bags, I get on my bike and place my helmet on before tying a bandana around my head. Usually, I wouldn’t bother with a helmet, but since I’m not quite sure where I’m heading this time, I decide to put one on. Plus, my mind is all sorts of a mess and I want to be protected as much as possible while I’m riding down the road.
Starting my bike, I don’t look around as I pull from the clubhouse, nodding at Austin on the gate, and take off down the road. Roaring through town, I should probably stop at my grandfather’s place to let him know I’m heading out of town, but I don’t want to hear his mouth run either. He’s never understood my lack of wanting an ol’ lady and babies; a family of my own to love and raise. For as gruff and grumpy as he is, George is a man who wants his grandsons to have their own family and build an empire they can rule over for the rest of their days. He doesn’t want any of us to be alone. It doesn’t matter what we want for our lives and the club being our main priority. That’s just an excuse as far as he’s concerned.
Riding out of town, I let the wind flow over me and the sense of freedom I always have on the open road, especially with no destination in mind, isn’t there. Instead I feel as if I’m leaving something so important behind. Not just the club; Red. In the short time she’s been in my room at the clubhouse, she’s somehow snuck past my defenses and gotten to me. Bronwan is in my soul and not being with her now, knowing I left because of her, feels wrong. Still, I don’t bother turning back as I twist the throttle and head for parts unknown trying to convince myself I’m making the right decision.
I’ve been on the road for hours now. The only stop I’ve made is at a small diner to grab some lunch. At least now I have a destination in mind and know I’ll be at the cabin in less than an hour or two. The club owns a cabin out in the middle of nowhere. It’s technically Lash’s cabin that his mom gave him. She was left the small cabin when her parents died, and we all use it when we need some time away because it’s farther than we’re comfortable with to use as a safe house for when shit’s going down with the club. Every single one of us have used this cabin on more than one occasion. I have to honestly say, I probably use it more than anyone else. I like my alone time and don’t like people up in my business. Another reason I shut Lash down earlier.
After eating my lunch, paying the bill, and picking up some beer from the store next to the diner, I continue on my way to the cabin. When I pull of the main road and head straight for the curvy, dirt, mountainous road, the air becomes cooler the longer I travel. Still, it does nothing to take my mind off Bronwan and what she’s doing back at the clubhouse right now. If she’s talking to anyone or hiding out in his room. It’s because my mind is occupied, I almost get taken out by a deer on a particularly sharp curve. Shaking my head, I curse myself and try to force thoughts of her from my mind.
When I finally pull up to the cabin, I grab my bag and the beer from the saddle bags before heading inside. We don’t have a key to use here to open up the door. Zeus set it up so we put a code in the panel next to the door and it pops open for us. Then, I have to unarm the security system before I can do anything else. Including airing out the place because it’s been so long since one of us came up here.
The cabin is secluded, surrounded by trees to the point if you don’t know what you’re looking for, you’ll miss the driveway. Most people wouldn’t even call it a driveway because it’s more of a dirt path than anything else. After driving almost a half mile, you finally come to an opening where the cabin sits nestled among all the trees. Out back there’s a small pond we keep stocked with fish every year. I’m not here to fish though. Inside, the cabin is separated into three main parts. Entering, you stand in the combined living room and kitchen. There is nothing to separate the two rooms from one another. Off to the left is a bathroom and laundry room with three bedrooms on the right side. If you step out the patio doors in the kitchen, you’re standing on a deck overlooking the trees and pond. The cabin is rustic, clean, with a touch of being modern with the upgrades we’ve made over the years to the place.
