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Setting my bag in the first bedroom I come to, I open the window inside to let the fresh air in. Walking through the living room and into the kitchen, I do the same thing. Opening the doors up wide, I take several deep breaths and just look at the area surrounding me. There’s another deer on the opposite side of the pond drinking the water without a care in the world. It’s truly serene here and I’ll be able to think of what I need to do when I head back to the clubhouse.
Right now isn’t the best time to be leaving the club. Hartley could go into labor any second, Bronwan doesn’t know a single person there enough to be comfortable, and there’s still Eric and his band of bitches to contend with. Well, we have to find his punk ass first. I will admit each one of us is looking to get our hands on him and make him pay for the crimes he’s committed. Yeah, we could turn him over to the cops, but being in prison for any length of time would be a vacation for the fucker. It will do nothing but give him time to put plans in place and regroup with the men we haven’t taken out already. Plus, he can still recruit more members to come after the club, kidnap women and kids to sell to the highest bidder, or anything else his vile mind can come up with.
Turning around, I grab a beer and remove the cap before chugging half of the bottle at once. Instead of sitting inside with my thoughts, I head outside on the back deck to sit in the hammock Iris uses whenever she comes up here. It’s comfortable as hell and I could definitely fall asleep here. Without closing my eyes, thoughts of Bronwan fill me. She’s a gorgeous woman. Not in the classical sense, but in an innocent, natural beauty way. Bronwan doesn’t need make-up to make her beautiful or to dress in skin tight clothes showing off everything she can. The freckles covering her pale skin make me want to trace the ones I haven’t with my tongue as her silky skin slides under my rough hands. Yeah, this isn’t going how I planned at all. Instead of thinking of ways to let Bronwan down gently and make her realize what a mistake we made by having sex, I’m fantasizing about having her again. As many times and in as many positions as she’ll let me take her.
The only time I leave the comfort of the hammock is to grab another beer. I’m definitely drinking my dinner tonight. Which isn’t a bad thing considering there really isn’t much food here in the cabin. Since I don’t have my truck with me, there was no way I could stop and get enough for a few days in order to have breakfast, lunch, and dinner. So, for tonight, I’ll have my beer, find the bottle of Jack we have stashed here, and worry about the rest tomorrow when I finally get up. Hell, I might just fall asleep out here in the hammock and not give a shit about anything as I drink one bottle of beer after another.
As I continue to drink the rest of the day away, my eyes never leave the sky as it turns from clear blue without a cloud in sight to darker as the moon and stars come out. I’m swaying back and forth with one foot on the deck pushing me back and forth. Each beer I consume makes my head more jumbled instead of clearly thinking about what I need to do. There is no way Bronwan can stay in my room when I eventually head back to the clubhouse. She needs to move to one of the empty rooms down by the prospects and Rebels. It’s not the best place for her to be, but she’ll still be in the clubhouse and away from any fucker who might be after her still.
There’s still a large part of me who wants to keep her in my room with me though. I’m a selfish fuck and I’ve already proven that by taking her virginity. If I were a decent man at all, I would have never touched her. I’d have let her know I’m not the person she should have put out for and told her she needed to find a good man with a day job who will be home every single night at the same time, give her the children I’m sure she wants along with the house and white picket fence. A man she can marry and have a good life with. Not me who doesn’t want to be tied down to the same woman for the rest of his life. At least that’s what I’m still telling myself.
At the end of the day, I’ve thought more about building a life with Bronwan than anything else before. I imagine her growing round with my babies in her belly, of coming home to her every single night when I’m done with work and club business, and of making her happier than she’s ever been in her life before. It’s not anything I can ever give her because things in the club happen in a matter of seconds, and it could take me away for hours or days at a time. There is never going to be a guarantee with me coming home at a decent time or at all. We have too many enemies and the shit with Eric just proves it.
I’m so fucking drunk as I let the cool air wash over me after being out here drinking for hours. I don’t give a shit about the club, Eric, or Bronwan as I close my eyes and let sleep slowly begin to claim me. Still, my dreams are filled with thoughts of Bronwan and the sight of her in several different positions on my bed, against the wall, in the shower, and everywhere else I can take her body and show her everything I can give her when it comes to sex and pleasing her. Of showing her what I like and how I want her to touch me in return. Fuck my life!
AFTER TAKING A shower to relax my body, I walk out in the room to find it empty as hell. Even with my head under the water, I heard someone moving around in the room knowing Talon was in there. I’m sure he was getting ready to head out to work for the day. Or just to continue ignoring me the way he did at breakfast. Before we had sex, he would have taken a seat with me at the table I was sitting at and eat his meal with me. Instead, he chose to look my way for a few seconds before getting his food and sitting with the rest of the men and women who were ignoring me.
Yes, I’ll fully admit I cried in the shower with the water to disguise the fact I can’t handle what’s going on with Talon and me. Sometimes he’s so sweet and caring it makes me like him even more than I already do. Other times he’s so withdrawn and aloof I have no clue what he’s thinking about or what he wants. This morning did prove one major thing to me and it’s that we made a huge mistake. I made a massive mistake by allowing a man I know wants nothing to do with me to take my virginity. That’s not something I can ever get back or change my mind about. It’s gone and all because I wanted to be in Talon’s bed. To give him the one thing I can never give another man in my life. I feel like such an idiot in the light of day.
As I dress and make my way back in Talon’s room, I sit on the edge of the bed and look around. There’s money left on the nightstand I know wasn’t there before I went in the shower. Talon left it while I was hiding out from him. Now, I feel like nothing more than a common whore he has paid to have sex with. More tears silently fall down my face landing on the sweatpants I’ve put on the for the day. Taking a deep breath, I try to compose myself so I can make my way downstairs. Pocketing the money, I fully intend to give it back to the man who has destroyed me within a few hours today.
Leaving his room, I make my way to the common room. It’s deserted with the exception of Hartley who is currently bent over, gripping the edge of the couch as if it’s the only thing holding her up. She’s panting and breathing faster than anyone should be breathing while still remaining standing. Panic and fear fills me as I try to figure out what to do other than rushing to her side.
“Hartley, are you okay? What do you need me to do?” I question her, taking in her red face and the sweat covering her forehead and neck.
“It’s just Braxton hicks contractions. You know, the ones that get your body ready to deliver the baby,” she says, slowly standing back up to face me.
“Are you sure? I don’t ever remember hearing they were bad enough to turn your face red as hell and cover you in sweat.”
“I’m sure. At least I hope so. It’s too early for me to go into labor and I have things to do,” she tells me, her voice breaking a few times as she tries to take deep breaths.
“Um, do you know where Talon is? I have to talk to him about something,” I ask her, my voice low so no one else hears me.
“Yeah. He’s not here. I’m not sure when he’ll be back either. Lash told me he took off for a few days at least. That’s another reason I can’t be going into labor right now too. A member of our family isn’t here, and we don’t do things that way,” she informs me making my heart break into pieces I’m not sure will ever be able to be put back together again.
“Can I get you anything? Some water, help you to a seat so you can relax?”
“I’m on my way to Lash’s office. Do you think you could help me there? My back is really bothering me today too.”
Just as we get outside Lash’s office, there’s a large puddle forming on the floor beneath Hartley. Both of us look down to see her lower body covered in fluid. Her water just broke. Holy shit!
“Lash!” I call out, not sure what to do other than get her husband. “Get out here. Hartley needs you.”
Booted feet sound from the other side of the door as Hartley bends over in pain once again. Lash isn’t the only one who’s coming to see what’s going on though. Several men and women appear in the small hallway as the door is ripped open to reveal Lash staring down at his woman with fear filling his eyes. Hartley is still bent over as pain fills her body and her nails dig into the skin of my hand I didn’t realize she started holding.
“What’s wrong, Pixie? What the hell is all over the floor?” Lash booms out, his voice showing just how scared he is right now.
“Her water broke. Hartley is in labor, and you need to get her to the hospital,” I inform him, trying to keep my voice calm so more panic isn’t taking him over.
Without thought, Lash has his wife up in his arms and rushes her from the clubhouse. Every man and women here follow them as Lash barks out orders despite rushing away. Several people are already on their phones to let others know what’s happening. It’s amazing to see all of these people coming together as a family while one of them is in need. I’ve never watched so many people race from a building in a show of support and love. For several seconds, I let a small smile cover my face before I realize I now have the perfect opportunity to leave here. I can get away without anyone knowing except maybe one of the men I’ve heard referred to as a prospect.
Racing up to Talon’s room, I pull his money from my pocket and place it on his nightstand. Walking around the room, taking in every single detail I can to remember the man I’ve slowly been falling for. When there’s nothing more to look at, I grab my purse and the one bag I made sure has everything I need in it to get away from here. Locking Talon’s door behind me, I let it close and take a deep breath. There is no turning back from this point in my life. It’s what I have to do. I don’t belong here, and I never will. Being here was simply a place to heal and have a safe haven so the men who took me wouldn’t get their hands on me again. Now, I know where I can go where no one will find me again. At least not until I want them to. Plus, I can let my mom and dad know I’m closer to them and can go home. Soon.
Walking out of the clubhouse, the few women sitting on the couches in the common room don’t even look up as I walk past them. When I leave out the door, it’s to find all of the bikes with the exception of one gone letting me know none of the men are here. They’re either at work or at the hospital with Lash and Hartley. Talon would be there with them if he were still here. Unfortunately, I never thought the sight of me would make him leave the way he did. Well, he won’t ever have to worry about that again. I’ll be gone and he can have his life back. A life that doesn’t include me and all the shit I’ve brought here to the clubhouse.
The young man at the gate is too busy on his phone to realize I’m even walking past him. He doesn’t call out to me or stop me in any way. Once I’m down the road a bit, I take a deep breath and realize I actually did it. I’m away from the clubhouse and there is no one to stop me now. I can find a bus, or another way to get where I’m going, and head out of here without a backwards glance. I’ll never forget the Knight’s Rebellion and what they’ve done for me. They took me in, protected me, and helped me heal without knowing a damn thing about me. Not many people would do that in today’s world. So, I’m thankful Talon is the one who found me on the side of the road that night what feels like a lifetime ago.
I’ve been back at school even though I have graduated for a few days now. My parents know where I am, and we’ve talked every single day. Dad is still in the hospital, and I know they’re not giving me the full story which means my next stop is home where I can finally get the answers to the questions they always seem to find a way to evade answering. If I’m there in person, I won’t stop until I know what’s going on with my dad.
