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I followed them to the town I remember Bronwan saying she lived in. When they pull up to a funeral home, I park a few parking lots away and watched them. It wasn’t long before Bronwan and another woman got out of a car. After a few exchanged words between the two of them, Red made her way over to the girls. I watched their entire interaction, wanting to go over to them and pull Bronwan into my arms to hold her. Still, I have no clue what’s going on with her, but even from here I know it’s major. She’s lost weight, looks sick, and even though her hair is shining in the sunlight, it’s dull and limp. Nothing compared to the vibrant red I’m used to seeing.
My gut is telling me to go to her. To pull her into my arms and hold her close to help her get through what’s going on with her. I want to meet who I’m now assuming is her mom and get to know everything about her. What makes her tick, what she does when she’s not at work, if she finished her college education or plans to go back for more. There is so much I don’t know about her, and I want to take the time to find out each and every detail about her. I can’t continue fighting this pull between us or try to imagine not giving a shit about her when she’s all I think about.
It’s not long before Bronwan leaves the sisters and prospect standing out in the parking lot. Not before she looks around and I lean further into the shadows so she can’t spot me. Yes, I want to be there for her, but she has to want me there. I’m not going to ruin whatever is going on for her today. Plus, being at a funeral home means she’s lost someone. Someone close to her based on her appearance and how absolutely exhausted she looks. I’ve seen Bronwan look defeated and broken when I picked her up on the side of the road. Confident when she was in the kitchen cooking for herself or the entire club. Shy when we were in the common room around everyone with her head bent down while looking at everyone through her lashes. Sexy as hell when she was under me in bed as I slid into her tight, wet pussy. The look I’m seeing today is not only of her broken, but a fucking mess. As if she didn’t want to take the time to make sure she looked okay or even care what anyone thinks of her.
My eyes follow Bronwan into the building surrounded by the girls as the prospect, Austin, follows them. he looks around the empty parking lots surrounding the funeral home until his eyes land on me. He knows I followed them. Austin clocked me before we even left town. He’ll make a good brother in the club when we patch him in. Still, he hasn’t let anyone know I’m here with them. He’s guarding my secret for me as I get off my bike and walk through the parking lots to move closer to the funeral home.
When other cars finally start pulling in the lot and people make their way inside, that’s when I head in. There are several small rooms in the front of the parlor that are sitting empty. The room Bronwan’s in is closer to the back of the building as I enter just inside the room and stand against the wall. A pillar easily hides me from her view without obstructing my ability to watch her every move. I kind of feel like a stalker, but I need to know what’s going on.
My breath stalls in my chest as she gets up to talk. No, I know she’s just lost her dad. Jaelyn was the only one to know what the hell was going on with her. I want to be the one who has been there for her. Right now, I should be sitting next to her and holding her hand while she speaks her truth about her dad. A man I wish I would have been able to meet as she shares her memories of him with the entire room. Tears are silently streaming down her face as her voice shakes with her emotion and grief. When she finally leaves the podium, I watch on as she collapses. Austin is quick on his feet and stops her before she can hit the floor. He helps her back to her seat where her mom and Jaelyn give her their strength and comfort. That’s my fucking job and I want to be there for her, but I’m not about to make today harder than it already is.
I stand in the funeral home until everyone starts standing up. People are done sharing their own memories of her dad with the room and now I imagine they’ll be heading to the cemetery. Heading back out for my bike without the girls or Bronwan seeing me, I hang back until I can follow them at a safe distance. That’s how my day is spent. Following Bronwan around as she goes from the cemetery to her home, I hang out and wait for any sign of her. Just a glimpse to let me know if she’s okay or not.
The blinds and curtains are all drawn in her home not letting me see inside and what’s going on. People come and go from the house. Some with dishes of food and others with nothing. It’s after several hours Austin makes an appearance and heads straight for the large tree in her front yard I’m currently hiding behind.
“How’s she doin’?” I question him, not sure when I’m gonna get to see her again.
“Not good. From what I understand, she’s been the strong one all week long. Makin’ sure her mom is okay. You know eatin’, takin’ a shower, and all that other shit. Realistically she’s has spent every single minute of every day in bed while Bron did everythin’ that needed to be done. I get it. The woman just lost the love of her life,” Austin tells me, his voice almost a whisper as he talks to me while smoking.
“Fuck! Why didn’t she let anyone other than Jae know what was goin’ on?” I ask, more for myself than to Austin. “I should be in there with her. What was she doin’? Has she eaten anythin’ today?”
“Not that I can see. She’s makin’ sure everyone else has what they need while keepin’ her eyes on her mom. Her mom is talkin’ with some people as she sits on the couch. At least she’s out of bed and not a mess. Bronwan is ready to break apart, Talon. I don’t know how she’s movin’ around and still standin’. Not sure she’s been sleepin’. Jae and Hartley tried to get her to eat, but she said she was busy. I don’t know what it’s gonna take to get her to take care of herself.”
“Fuck!” I roar out, my voice filling the air around us. “When are you guys headin’ out to go back?”
“In a few minutes. Wanted to let you know what was goin’ on before we left. Are you headin’ back with us? I know I don’t have the right to ask you that as my vice president, but I’m askin’ all the same.”
“I’m not your vice president right now, Austin. I’m just a man who’s waitin’ to catch a glimpse of a woman. I want to make sure she’s okay and do what I can to help her,” I tell him, not giving a shit about our positions in the club.
“Well, I’m gonna say this then. Not as a prospect in the club or anythin’ but as a person who has been inside that home and seen a broken woman tryin’ to hold her shit together. If you’re not goin’ into this bein’ completely honest with her and are goin’ to have her back for the long haul, then you need to leave her alone. Bronwan is barely holdin’ her shit together and I know without a doubt if it weren’t for her mom, B wouldn’t be doin’ as good as she’s pretendin’ to be right now. She doesn’t anythin’ more piled on top of her right now, Talon. I like her and want to see her happy. I think you can be that guy, but only if you’re all in. She’s not a one and done type of girl. Not by a long shot,” he advises me, taking a protective stance for Bronwan.
I like the fact he’s standing up for her and not caring that I could make his life hell in the club if that was my choice to do so. Literally, I can make sure Austin has a longer probationary period or not patch in at all. Still, he gives me his honest opinion about Bronwan and who I need to be for her. To protect her and make sure nothing else ever hurts her again. Yeah, he’ll make a good brother when he patches in.
“I’m not gonna hurt her, Austin. Not sure if anythin’ is ever gonna happen between us more than a friendship. At the end of the day, the choice is hers and we’ll be okay. I just need to make sure she’s okay and talk to her about a few things. It’s obviously not gonna be today with everythin’ she has goin’ on though. What I need to do is come up with a game plan and make everythin’ solid as fuck with her so she knows she can turn to the club when she has somethin’ come up,” I inform him, not sure why I’m sharing so much when I’m tight lipped about everything in my life. Even with my brothers and Lash.
With a nod from Austin, he stubs out his cigarette on the bottom of his boot before putting it back in his pocket. He’s not going to litter Bronwan’s yard with it. Another point in his favor as I take in the outside of her home and the yard surrounding it. The yard is in desperate need of a mowing and the weeds need to be pulled from the flower beds. Her house could use a fresh coat of pain and some minor repairs just based on the quick glance I take. All things we can take care of. As a club. It’s a matter of getting her back in with the club and not just the girls. Jaelyn and Hartley more specifically.
I’ve been in Farnsworth for a few days now without a single sighting of Bronwan. She remains locked up tight in her home with barely a twitch of the curtains. I sit outside on my bike every single day, not trying to hide the fact I’m here for her. Bronwan’s more than likely already called Jaelyn or Hartley to let them know I’m here. Especially with Lash and Death calling me like clockwork. Every single hour one of them calls me and I ignore each and every call. I haven’t even looked at the messages they’ve sent me. I’m not going anywhere until Bronwan talks to me. She needs to hear my side of things and make sure nothing else happens to her. I want her to be able to come to the club and know we have her back.
Finally, the front door opens, and I’m gifted not only getting to see Red, but actually have her walk toward me as I remain on my bike. I want to go to her and not have her walk all the way to the road where I’m parked. Instead, I don’t get off my seat as I watch every single step she takes in my direction. I didn’t think it would be possible, but she looks even worse today than she did the day of the funeral. Her hair is thrown up in a messy bun, there’s no make-up as usual on her face, and her clothes are way too big for her body. Especially with the weight she’s lost. Weight she didn’t need to lose in the first place. Red’s body was perfect as fuck. For me.
“Talon, what are you doing here?” she asks me, her voice softer than I remember ever hearing it before as she stands in front of me and wrings her hands together.
“I’m here for you. Look, Red, we need to talk about a few things. The main one bein’ why you left the clubhouse as soon as everyone left. I know what you thought when you saw the money and it’s not what you’re thinkin’ at all,” I tell her honestly, wanting to pull her into my arms to kiss her.
“You don’t know what I’m thinking, Talon. You were gone. I gave you something I can never get back or give to anyone else, and you tossed money on the nightstand before disappearing for wherever you went,” she says, still not raising her voice at all as she looks up and down the street to keep her gaze off of me. “Now really isn’t a good time for me to be doing this with you. Just know you’re off the hook and I won’t bother you for anything ever again.”
“I don’t want to be off the hook when it comes to you, Bronwan. That’s why I left,” I tell her, time for me to lay my own truth on her. “I have never in my life dated anyone; it’s always been hookups and one night stands. I’m not a good man at all and will do whatever is necessary in order to protect you how I feel is best for the given situation. I’ve never once wanted an ol’ lady, wife, or children of my own. I’m happy with my life in the club, the freedom that comes with it, and not havin’ to explain every single move I make to anyone. That all changed from the second I met you and took you back to the clubhouse with me. You put your blind trust in me and gave me the best gift anyone could have ever given me. I want to date you. To see where this leads between us. I’m not promisin’ you forever because I don’t know if I can give you that. What I can give you is my loyalty, my honesty, and I will never intentionally hurt you.”
“What does that even mean, Talon?”
“It means I’m not goin’ to cheat on you. If my eyes start wanderin’ and I know I can’t resist the urge of bein’ with someone else, I’ll come to you and break things off before anythin’ else happens. I’d rather be honest with you than string you along and play games. We’re too fuckin’ old for games. The money was because I had to get away for a few days. To wrap my head around what I was thinkin’ and feelin’ about you. You’ve had me so twisted up in knots and I don’t know why. From the second you came into the clubhouse, there wasn’t another woman. My cock wouldn’t get hard to be with anyone else. One thought of you and I was harder than fuck though. You’re the only woman I’ve been with since I picked you up and that’s not me. I wanted to make sure if you needed somethin’ you would have the money because I know you wouldn’t have asked a single person for anythin’. Not because we had sex. I would never see you as a whore or anythin’ else like that, Bronwan,” I tell her honestly, not sure if she’s hearing what I’m saying.
“Like I said, I’ve got a lot going on here right now, Talon. I don’t have time for anything.”
“I know you do. Why didn’t you let Jae or Hartley tell me what was going on? I would have been here for you instead of hidin’ in the shadows watchin’ you as you fell apart.”
“You have more power over me than you realize. I already like you so much and there is no way in hell you’re not going to break me. I’m already broken and have no clue how this is supposed to work when I’m so far away from you. I can’t go back to Braedon with you. My mom needs me here. You know the old saying ‘out of sight, out of mind’.”
