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Coraline makes her way back in the exam room and stares down at her daughter. Taking her seat across the small bed from me, she doesn’t take her eyes off Bronwan.
“Has she woken up?” Coraline asks me, her voice quiet so she doesn’t wake her up.
“Yeah. A few minutes ago. I let her know what the doctors said and then she went back to sleep. It’s what she needs right now.”
“Yeah. I should have done something before it came to this. My baby girl has been trying to be so damn strong for me as I wallow in my grief, and I didn’t see what she was doing to herself. This is my fault,” Coraline says, hanging her head down with shame and guilt.
“Not on you, Coraline. You’re both grievin’ and tryin’ to make it through each day. A lot has been goin’ on with both of you and there is nothin’ you could have done. I may not know every single thing there is to know about your daughter, but what I do know is she wouldn’t have let on anythin’ was wrong. She wouldn’t have wanted to put that stress on you on top of everythin’ you’ve been goin’ through. Bronwan keeps her emotions and what she’s thinkin’ to herself more than she should. Bronwan just wants to be strong for you and give you a shoulder to lean on because she feels it’s now her time to protect you and let you lean on her when you can’t stand on your own.”
“You really care about Bronwan, don’t you?”
“I do. I’m not gonna lie. I’m not a monk, a good man, or anyone she should be with. However, from the second I saw her walkin’ down the road, I knew she was gonna change my life. Bronwan put her blind trust in me without knowin’ a damn thing about me. Not just when she got on my bike so I could get her out of the weather, but when she didn’t want me to leave her side. She’s been slowly breakin’ down my defenses and wormin’ her way into my heart and soul.
“There are only two men, Lash and Mammoth, in the club who have an ol’ lady. He’s always had the same feelin’ as me when it came to women and it’s not a good one. Not until he met Hartley and saved her from her ex who was beatin’ on her. Now, he’s married, has an ol’ lady, and has a son. Still, that’s never anythin’ I wanted to have of my own. I like my life as it is and the freedom I have with the club and my bike. Now, I’m rethinkin’ all that shit when it comes to your daughter. I’m not sure I can give her forever, but I’m goin’ to give her all of me for as long as this runs it’s course,” I tell her mom honestly, not sure what she’s going to think of the things I just told her.
“That’s completely honest and I know that’s something important to my daughter. We had her when we were older and I’m afraid she didn’t experience everything other kids her age did. That’s on myself and her daddy. Still, we gave her all we could of ourselves and made sure she had what she needed and as much of what she wanted as possible. My daughter is a rare gem with a heart of gold. I’m not saying that to you because she’s my girl. I’m telling you the truth and you’ll never find a better person to let in your life. Just be honest with her and give her all of you and she’ll do the same in return. That’s all anyone can ask of when they get into a relationship. Not a single person knows if they’ve found the love of their life until something happens and they realize what they have standing in front of him and her,” Coraline tells me, a smile on her face to let me know she’s not upset with me about what I’ve told her.
It’s not long before the doctor comes back in the exam room. He has the results of her blood work and wants to talk to us about what to do now.
“She has woken up?” he first questions us.
“Yes. Just for a few minutes, but she was lucid, and I told her what happened when she asked. Then she went back to sleep,” I answer him since her mom wasn’t in here when she woke up.
“That’s good. On top of being dehydrated and not eating for longer than she should have, Bronwan is pregnant. Does she know she’s pregnant?”
“I don’t think she does,” Coraline answers, shock filling her face. “She’s been trying to help me with the loss of my husband and her father. He just passed away a few weeks ago. She’s been running herself ragged and I didn’t notice it.”
“You didn’t do anything wrong. None of you did. She’s been grieving in her own way if you think about it. Some people have to stay busy, and they need to focus on something other than themselves. I have a feeling that’s what happened here. With the news of her being pregnant, I’m going to admit her overnight for observation. I want to make sure nothing is wrong with the baby. I’ll be having an ultrasound done as well to see how far along she is and make sure we don’t spot any possible problems with everything she’s been going through. It will be an internal ultrasound so I’m not sure who is going to be in the room with her,” the doctor informs us, looking between Coraline and myself.
I have no words right now. Bronwan is pregnant. She’s carrying my baby right now and neither one of us knew. If I had, I would have made sure she was eating and drinking. I would have done everything in my power to lighten her load and make sure nothing was going to happen to her. The same thing I’d do if she weren’t pregnant. However, she was keeping me at arm’s length, and I let her. I was letting Bronwan rule what was going on between us and that ends now. Everything I’ve been fighting against ends now. Bronwan is mine and she’s going to know how much of mine she is.
Holy fuck! I’m going to be a dad. I have never wanted kids in my life. I didn’t even know how to hold Nash when I came up and saw them in the hospital. I’ve only held him once or twice since that day and I’m scared to death every single time he’s in my arms. Nash is so tiny and I’m not. My hands are bigger than his damn head and the strength I have can do so much damage to his little body. Even if it’s not my intention of harming him. Accidents happen regardless of how careful you are.
“Are you okay, Talon?” Coraline asks me as her hand comes down to rest on my shoulder.
“I, um, I didn’t know. I’m so sorry. If I had known, I would have done things different,” I tell her honestly, still in shock.
“I know you would have. We know now and I think you need to get some air, Talon. You really don’t look good. The doctor said it would be a little bit before the ultrasound machine was brought in here. Why don’t you go have a smoke break and talk to someone about what’s going on?” she suggests.
“I don’t know if Bronwan wants anyone to know yet. Should I talk to anyone about it without knowin’ that?”
“You should. Take your brother, Death, outside with you and let him know what’s goin’ on. I think your grandpa is here too. You can talk to him about things if you don’t want you brother to know yet. I’ll stay here with her and let you know as soon as she wakes up again or the tech gets in here. You don’t want to miss out on seeing your baby for the first time.”
Nodding my head, I numbly get out of my seat and head for the waiting room. I don’t have to say a word before Death is by my side. Letting him know I’m going out for a cigarette, he gets our grandpa to follow us. No one else gets a word from me. We walk away from the main entrance where the hospital has a designated smoking section. Pulling one from my pack, I light up and close my eyes as I let the words of the doctor sink in.
“What’s goin’ on, Talon? You’re scarin’ the shit out of us,” Death asks as my grandpa rests his hand on my shoulder.
“Bronwan is bein’ admitted overnight. Um, the doctor got the results of her blood work back,” I tell them, taking a break as I take a deep drag of my cigarette and hold it in for a minute while I try to figure out how to tell them about the baby. “She’s pregnant. I’m goin’ to be a dad.”
My grandpa, George, and Death don’t say anything for a minute. They stand in shocked silence with me Then, my pops speaks up.
“I know you, Talon. Knew you never wanted an ol’ lady or kid. Now, you’ve got a kid on the way. If you leave that girl in a bind on her own, I’m gonna kick your fuckin’ ass. Then, I’m gonna call Judge and make him come kick your ass. That girl is a sweet one from what everyone has been sayin’ about her. You need to keep her close and put all your fears aside to make things work. Not even for the baby, but because I can see it’s what you want to do. If you didn’t, you wouldn’t be sittin’ in that exam room with her, lookin’ like shit the way you do. She’s got you so twisted up in knots you don’t know what to do about things. I’m tellin’ you now to keep her close and show her what she means to you,” my Pops warns me.
“Judge ain’t gonna do shit to me,” I respond, trying to think of something other than the baby until I know everything is okay.
“Yeah, he will. And then I’ll kick your ass. Hartley and Jaelyn will want to do the same as well. They love her. And I’m pretty sure Austin would step up in line too. He’s got a soft spot for your girl,” Death informs me.
“I know he does. He already warned me about not hurtin’ her. Didn’t give a fuck about it costin’ him his patch the way he talked to me. For now, I don’t want anyone else knowin’. Just you two because I’m kind of freaked the fuck out right now and I don’t know if Bronwan will want anyone to know. Pops, thank you for bein’ here with us too. I never did thank you earlier.”
