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Yeah, I’ve been skipping out on meals lately. I just can’t seem to bring myself to head to the common room when I know it will be filled with the guys. They’re all amazing and I know they’re worried about me, but it’s the pity looks I can’t stand to see on their faces. As far as I’m concerned, things could have turned out a lot worse the night I was drugged, but it didn’t. I got myself locked in a room, waited for the guys to show up, and they made sure I was safe. Yes, the thoughts are still there of what would have happened if I didn’t have enough clarity to call Sab, but I’m tired of letting those thoughts keep me down. It’s time for me to pull up my big girl panties and deal with life head on. Starting with making a decision about what I need to do about school and the guys.
“I’ll start going to the common room when dinner is served. And start helping out more around here. I’ve been slacking, but it’s time to move on. I’ll take things a day at a time and try to figure out what’s best for me. Including the possibility of moving out of the clubhouse so I can get out from under everyone’s thumb here. I’m in the way on party nights since I can’t attend them, and I can find an apartment close by so I can start helping more with Nash and finding a job. The first thing I need to do is make a list of things I want to accomplish,” I state, taking a large bit of the greasy cheeseburger in my hands.
“Why are you thinking of moving out of here? Other than the parties, I mean.”
“When I go to the common room, the guys look at me with pity in their eyes and the girls glare at me because it’s not business as usual around here. It’s time for me to get my own place, a job, and finish up this semester online. After that, I’ll decide what I want to do. Maybe take longer than the summer off so I can just breathe and not have to worry about classes and homework. It’s a lot to think of, and it’s going to take time for me to get everything set up no matter what way I decide to go with things.”
“Why don’t I talk to Lash about you staying in one of the row houses for now? It’s your own space but you’re still inside the compound with the rest of us. I’ll help you get a job somewhere and you can take all the time you need to figure out what to do about going back to school. Maybe see about transferring to the college here,” Hartley says, crumpling up her wrapper and tossing it back in the bag at the side of my bed on the floor.
“With all that stuff out of the way, is there something you want to tell me big sister?” I ask her, knowing I have to be the one to bring up my suspicions to her.
“What are you talking about?” she returns, averting her gaze from mine.
“Are you pregnant again? I’ve noticed some things despite you doing your best to try and hide it from me. And everyone else.”
“I am. We just got confirmation from the doctor yesterday. I wasn’t trying to keep it from you. I just know you’ve been dealing with a lot of shit and didn’t want to add to your plate,” she says, tears filling her eyes.
“And you think I wouldn’t be happy about having another nephew or niece? This little guy has me wrapped around his finger already. I’m really happy for you two. You deserve all the happiness in the world. If that means a hundred babies, I’m all for it. Please don’t hide things from me because you don’t think I can handle it. Things weren’t as bad as they could have been, Hart. I’m okay,” I promise her.
“Okay. You’re my baby sister and I’m always going to put your needs above my own. I’m glad you’re happy though. Now we can start telling others.”
We both smile as I lean over and pull her into a tight hug. This is a conversation we’ve both needed to have and I’m glad it finally happened. Maybe it should have happened days ago.
I finish eating my lunch so I can get my cuddle time in with Nash. He’ll need to be put down for his nap soon and I’m tired enough I don’t have a problem taking one with him. It wouldn’t be the first time this past week when Hart has left him in my room with me. Nash being in here with me is also the only other time I don’t have nightmares. The last thing I want to do is scare my nephew. I also don’t fully let myself fall into a deep sleep when he’s in my bed. For now, I just need to relax and take some time to figure things out. Staying in a row house might be a good idea. For now at least.
TWO WEEKS HAVE gone by since I got the call from Jaelyn in the middle of the night from a fucking frat party after someone drugged her. I’ve never been so scared in my entire damn life. Or have broken so many laws of the road in my haste to get to her. Fear and rage ruled me at that point in time with all the thoughts of what could be happening to her while Zeus and I were on our way there to save her. I’ll always do whatever she needs no matter how big or small it is. That night will forever play on a loop in my mind. I know Zeus will also think of nothing but the memories from the night and his own horrible past.
The first week was really hard on Jae. She didn’t leave her room for any reason unless Hartley was here with her. Even then it was like pulling teeth to get her to come to the common room. I’ve been trying to be there for her as much as possible, but I don’t want to invade her space too much either. Jaelyn might not have been raped, but it doesn’t mean she wasn’t forced through a traumatic experience by a bunch of douche canoes because they wanted something she wasn’t willing to give to them. I can’t stand a motherfucker who would try to force himself on a woman for any reason. There is no reason for a man to take something not being offered to him freely.
I’ve also been at Zeus’ side. He’s not dealing well with the shit Jaelyn almost had happen to her. He’s been down the road before with a different outcome. It’s not my story to tell though. All I know is my best friend in the world is hurting and there’s nothing I can do to take his pain away. Other than being there for him when he needs to spar or wants to get drunk as fuck. I have tucked him into bed so many nights after he’s gotten too wasted and couldn’t move from the chair he plopped his ass in. When he doesn’t get completely blitzed, he’s sitting out on the floor across from Jaelyn’s room. He wants to be there for her so much but has been fighting what he feels for her.
At first we both were because she wasn’t eighteen. Now, it’s because we want her to have some good experiences under her belt before we claim her. It’s just a matter of time before we make Jaelyn ours. Zeus also doesn’t let a ton of people in. Not like me. We don’t keep a damn thing from one another and never will. It’s one of the main reasons our friendship works so well. We’re closer than brothers and share everything in our lives with one another. I wouldn’t have it any other way either. Yes, I know why this situation has fucked him up. Most of the guys in the club also know the reason he’s shut down. No one will talk about it or let anyone else in on the information though. Zeus will let Jae know when he’s ready and not a second sooner.
Knocking on my brother’s office door, I wait for him to answer before opening it. I don’t want to catch him face first in Hartley’s pussy. Again. That’s my sister-in-law and the sister of the woman I want to settle down with. I don’t need to see her in that kind of situation and quickly learned to always knock on the door no matter what’s going on.
“What’s up, Sab?” Lash asks me as I take a seat in front of his desk.
“Just checkin’ in. Haven’t been around the last two weeks and thought I’d see how things were with you guys,” I answer, including Hartley in my response since she’s sitting on my brother’s lap.
“We’re good. Nash is up sleepin’ with Jae right now. You been with Zeus?”
“Yeah. Every day gets a little better. I don’t think he’ll get over this until he sees for himself Jae is okay. That she’s done shuttin’ herself away from everyone.”
“You know why she hasn’t come out of the room?” Hartley asks me, her voice soft and sweet.
“Not a clue.”
“She can’t stand everyone looking at her with pity filling their faces. All she wants to do is move on and get back to living her life without everyone thinking she’s going to lose her shit. That’s what we were just talking about. She’s gonna leave campus and move into one of the row houses. We want her safe behind the compound walls and she wants her own space. So, this is the compromise,” Hartley informs me. “Can’t blame her for not wanting to step foot on campus again.”
“Who’s gettin’ her shit from the dorm room?” I ask, looking between the couple.
“Haven’t figured it out yet. It needs to happen sooner rather than later though. She’s already called and talked to the school so she can finish out the semester in online courses. They still don’t know what happened to her, but she told them she was sick and couldn’t leave her family at this time. It was enough for them to agree to her sudden need to switch,” Lash says.
“Let Zeus and me head up there. We’ll take two trucks and a Prospect and get it all taken care of for her. The roommate gonna be there?” I ask, not wanting to deal with the little bitch.
I know it’s not her roommate’s fault what happened to Jae, but if she hadn’t left her for a fucking hookup, Jae wouldn’t have been alone. No one would have gotten close enough to her to slip something in her drink. We still don’t know what exactly happened to her at the party though. Not even Hartley knows because Jae hasn’t wanted to talk about it. She barely remembers what happened after calling me.
“Yeah. Which Prospect are you gonna take with ya?”
