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"Yes." It was barely a whisper.
"First, you have never, and I mean this—never—been in a BDSM relationship. You were in an abusive relationship. That asshole was not a Dom. He was a criminal, a bully who took advantage of your extraordinarily high tolerance for pain to terrorize you for his own enjoyment." His eyes bore into hers, trying to burn his words into her brain—he needed to know she’d gotten the message. "Tell me you understand what I just told you, Bri."
When she stared at him blankly, he gently shook her and when that failed, he pulled her over the edge of the tub, exposing her wet ass. Lukus wasted no time in swatting her butt with his open hand a dozen times. When he pulled her back to his arms, he saw the fire flashing in her eyes and knew he had her full attention.
"Let's try this again, sweetheart. Have you ever been in a D/s relationship?"
"It's just words, Lukus... a label. What difference does it make?"
He answered her by roughly returning her to the edge of the tub to deliver another dozen swats. This time when he pulled her up close, he saw fresh tears in her eyes.
Shit, I want to hold her so bad it hurts.
"Are you listening now?"
"Yes, you asshole! Stop spanking me.” She tried swatting at his drenched shirt.
Damn her.
It’d been so long since he’d had a woman with her spirit giving him shit back… and even longer since helikedit. Lukus couldn’t hide his amused smile before continuing on. “I’ll stop when I know you’re listening. I’ve been a Dom my entire adult life. I’ve made a career out of disciplining submissives. I’ve certainly made most of them cry and even sometimes scream, but never… and I do mean never, have I truly hurt anyone. Everyone had a safeword and everyone wanted it,neededit. They knew exactly what they were signing up for before…”
His words trailed off as a crush of his own guilt arrived, realizing he could no longer make that assertion ever again. Not after what he’d done the night before in the name of friendship. The guilt must have been plastered all over his face because Brianna’s knowing eyes mocked him.
“Everyone except me. That’s why you stopped today, isn’t it?” she asked quietly.
Lukus didn’t even try to hide his remorse. “Yes, and I’m sorry. It would kill me if you ever lumped me in with assholes like Jake. If you thought I could hurt you like he did…” He suddenly felt so defenseless, like a little boy looking for absolution.
To his relief, Brianna’s lips curved up slightly. “I can’t explain it, but in spite of all of the things you’ve done to me, I know I’m safe with you, Lukus. I’ve been afraid, of course, but I saw you watching me today as if you were taking care of me. I never… not one single minute… felt like Jake was taking care of me.”
“I wish…” He let the words die away.
Shut the fuck up, dipshit. You’re about to cross the line.
Brianna picked up his sentence, saving him from making a mistake. “I wish I knew what I could do to make this up to Markus. Oh God, Lukus… he’s never going to forgive me. He’s going to divorce me.” Her panic had returned with the memory of her husband’s anger.
The Dom had left the building. Lukus’s own guilt left him vulnerable, an emotion he hadn’t felt in… well, almost never. The unique woman before him was stripping him bare. It was as if she were a drug to him and as hard as he tried to resist, the craving to hold her was all consuming.
Lukus didn’t stop Bri when she closed the last inches between them to lay her head on his chest, letting her broken-hearted sobs wrack her. At first, he restrained himself from comforting her, but when she started to hyperventilate, he reached into the water to lift her wet, soapy body against his already drenched shirt.
“Let’s get you dried off,” he said, helping her to stand before reaching for a fluffy towel.
Brianna allowed him to towel her off, not even resisting as he lifted her to carry her to the bedroom. When he laid her down, he waited for her crying to subside. But it only got worse as she imagined the worst case about her marriage.
He knew it was a mistake even as he was doing it, yet he couldn’t stop himself. He wanted to hold her. Removing his wet t-shirt, he lay down beside her, coaxing Brianna from her balled-up position as he took her into his arms. She rested her head against his chest, wrapping her left arm and leg across his body. She was holding onto him for dear life, and he held her in return, gently stroking her damp hair, caressing her back, her arms… comforting her with soft whispers as she broke down.
“Shhh. It’s gonna be okay.” He waited for her to cry it out, knowing that as soon as her meltdown ended, things were going to get more complicated. He’d long ago blown past his ethical line, yet he couldn’t bring himself to let her go. Brianna’s body was curled up against him, seeking his comfort, his protection. It was too damn much and yet it wasn’t even close to enough.
Never before had the desire to have it all slammed him so hard. Lukus wanted this woman so badly his heart actually ached. He wanted to consume her, own her, punish her for being stupid, kiss her until she was happy again, and then fuck her until she screamed with pleasure. Yet, he knew he couldn’t have those things and still look himself in the mirror.
She belongs to Markus.
Brianna made the first move to pull away, no doubt sensing the dangerous line they were flirting with crossing. Lukus held her tight until she started to wiggle free, finally lifting her head to look into his eyes. He recognized the almost feral look of desire in her brown orbs. He knew he was mirroring the same desire in return. Time stood still—his breath hitched, neither of them moving.
Lukus turned his brain off and let instinct take over. He rolled over, trapping Brianna’s lithe body beneath him. He placed his elbows on either side of her damp head—their faces so close they could feel each other’s breath. He ran her thick hair through his fingers. The feel of her bare breasts under his hard chest was like an electric current welding them together. She had to feel his erection pressing into her, gently grinding as if he were thrusting into her. Only his jeans protected them from the madness of proceeding.
The power she held over him was intoxicating. He saw the desire in her eyes, desire for him, desire for his domination. It was a toss-up whose breath was more labored, whose heart was racing the fastest.
I have to taste her. Just one taste.
