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It was stupid, but she hated leaving him like this, with all the light going out in his eyes and the clouds of fear and confusion rolling in.
She didn't mean to do it, it just happened.
She hugged him.
It was like hugging a tree; he was so surprised, he was as stiff as a block of wood. She wasn't actually sure how long it had been, since anybody had touched him like this. For a second he resisted her, and then his arms went around her and she felt him heave a great sigh. Still not a hug, not really, but it was as close as he was likely to get.
"Go away, little bird," he whispered. "Hurry."
She backed away. His eyes were strange again, and she knew they were out of time. Someday, he won't come back. He'll just be the beast.
Michael was beside her. She hadn't heard him cross the room, but his hand closed around hers, and there was real compassion in his face. Not for Myrnin, though. For her.
"You heard him," Michael said. "Hurry."
She bumped into the table, and the small jar of red crystals shuddered a little, nearly tipping over. She grabbed it to put it back upright, and then thought, what if he loses this? He loses stuff all the time.
She was only keeping it safe, that was all. It helped him, right? So she ought to make sure he didn't knock it over or throw it away or something.
She slipped it into her pocket. She didn't think Myrnin saw, and she knew Michael didn't. Claire felt a hot burst of something -- shame? Embarrassment? Excitement? I should put it back. But really, she'd never find it again if he moved it around. Myrnin wouldn't remember. He wouldn't even know it was gone.
She kept looking back, all the way up the stairs. By the time they were halfway out, Myrnin had already forgotten them, and he was restlessly flipping through a pile of books, muttering anxiously to himself.
Gone already.
He looked up at them and snarled, and she saw the hard glint of fangs.
She hurried to the door at the top of the stairs.
Chapter Nine
Michael wasn't talking to her, and that was bad. He wasn't sullen, like Shane got from time to time; he was just thoughtful. That made the drive uneasily quiet. It was fully dark out, not that she could see through the window tinting anyway.
The world didn't seem real to her anymore, and her head ached.
"This is the deal you made with Amelie," Michael said. "To work for him."
"No. I made the deal with Amelie, then she told me to work for him. Or learn from him."
"Is there a difference?"
Claire smiled. "Yeah. I don't get paid."
"Brilliant plan, genius. Is anybody paying you?"
Actually, she had no idea. The thought hadn't occurred to her, to ask Amelie for money. Was that normal, to get paid for a thing like this? She supposed it was, if she was supposed to risk her life with Myrnin on a regular basis. "I'll ask," she offered.
"No," Michael said grimly. "I'll ask. I want to talk to Amelie about this whole thing anyway."
"Don't get all older-brother on me, Michael. It's not safe. You may be one of them now, but you're not -- "
" -- one of them? Yeah, I know that. But you're way too young for this, Claire, and you don't know what you're doing. You didn't grow up in this town, you don't understand the risks."
"What, death? I understand that one pretty well already." She was feeling tired and achy, but also strangely annoyed with Michael's protectiveness. "Look, I'm fine, okay? Besides, I learned a lot today. She'll be happy, trust me."
"Amelie's mood isn't what bothers me," Michael said. "It's you. You're changing, Claire."
She looked straight at him. "Like you haven't?"
"Cheap shot."
"You made the choice."
"Yeah, I made the choice, and it was the only one I could make. Look, I'm sick of having to tiptoe around Shane. Don't make me do it with you, too." Ah, now Michael was annoyed too. Great.
"Tell you what? I'll stop nagging you about your life if you'll stay out of mine. You're not my brother, you're not my dad -- "
"No," he interrupted. "I'm the guy who says if you get to stay in the house."
He wouldn't. He wouldn't. "Michael -- "
"You made a deal with Amelie without talking to anyone, and then you covered it up. Look, the only reason you even came clean was because I saw the bracelet. If I hadn't you'd still be lying to us. That doesn't exactly make you the ideal housemate." Michael paused for a second. "And then there's Shane."
"How am I to blame for Shane?"
"You're not. But I can't deal with both of you, not now. So just straighten up, Claire. No more lying, and no more risk-taking, all right? I'll convince Amelie to let you out of these sessions with Myrnin. You're too young to be doing this, she ought to know that."
No more lying. No more risk-taking. Claire shifted and felt the bottle in her pocket, and had a flash of that perfect clarity again. She wondered what Michael would have to say about her letting Myrnin give her the crystals. Probably nothing. He was talking about throwing her out of the house, right? So he probably didn't care at all.
The car slowed and turned, bumped down a rutted drive. Home.
Claire bolted before Michael could say anything else to her.
Shane was in the kitchen, pouring himself a beer. He toasted her silently, took a sip and nodded toward a pot on the stove. "Chili," he said. "Extra garlic."
Michael was closing the kitchen door, and he sighed. "When is this going to stop?"
"When you quit sucking blood?"
"Shane -- "
"Don't get pissy. I made yours garlic-free." Shane looked at her again, and frowned a little. "You okay?"
"Sure. Why wouldn't I be?"
"Just -- I don't know. Whatever." He slung an arm over her shoulders and kissed her on the forehead. "Bad day, probably."
Let's see, she'd been threatened by Eve's brother, had her wrist cut, and then played keep-away with Myrnin for hours. Did that qualify as a bad day in Morganville? Probably not. No body count.
Not yet, anyway.
Michael pushed past them and through the door into the living room. Claire pulled free of Shane's arm and went to the stove to ladle herself a bowl of chili. It smelled hot and delicious. But mostly hot. She tasted a drop and nearly choked; was it usually this molten-lava wicked spicy? Everything felt raw to her right now. She supposed that was a side effect of the crystals.
"I thought I heard you," Shane said. "Weirdest thing, I heard your voice today. Right out of the air. I thought you -- I kept thinking about Michael, how he used to be during the daytime ..."
