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And these desires… They had to be a byproduct of it. They had to be. Otherwise…what did this make me? Was I destined to go down the path of becoming a serial killer?
No.
Squeezing my eyes closed, I welcomed the pitch of night. What had always been darkness to me before wasn’t anymore. This room was as clear as if the lights had been switched on. Another disconcerting abnormality assailing me.
“Think,” I whispered to myself. “Try to remember.”
Truthfully, what Avery had said to me earlier had filled in some blanks I’d struggled with. I’d been shocked when she’d known the details of my attack. Before that, bits had been filtering back to me, piece by piece. It was as if she’d thrown a blacklight on invisible ink. And there it was, everything I’d been missing.
How could she know?
I didn’t understand what I’d become, and now…I realized my wife was more than I’d ever imagined she was.
Opening my eyes, I turned to stare at her. Her skin was so pale against our navy pillows. Dusky circles marred the skin beneath her closed eyes, her long sooty lashes fanned over the marks of her exhaustion. Was that because of me? Because she’d been worried?
She’d thought I’d cheat on her or leave her. That was like a blade to my heart. When I’d woken in that alley, wedged behind a reeking dumpster, aching deep into every bone, my first thoughts had been of her.
Gently, I brushed my fingers over her warm cheek. So warm…
She hummed and burrowed deeper into her pillow. I longed to join her in her slumber, and forget the horror of coming awake in that shadowy crevice between buildings, forget the rats, forget the coppery taste of blood that had filled my mouth.
The memory of the blood had my mouth watering.
I had to get out of this bed. Leaping up in a blur of motion, I surged toward the window. Ruthlessly, I yanked closed the drapes, making sure the shades were down behind them. We didn’t have many windows in our place. Still, I raced from room to room and made sure they were all closed.
My sensitivity to light and the way it seemed to immediately blister my skin wasn’t something I could explain away. It wasn’t caused by a knock to the head—or many knocks as the case would be. There were diseases that caused that, though. Right? I couldn’t look it up. We didn’t have a computer in the apartment and my laptop had been stolen, along with all my other things, when I’d finally made my way back to the hotel in Vegas.
By some miracle, I hadn’t been robbed during or after my attack, so I had my wallet. I’d been able to buy a change of clothes and get a ticket home. The fact someone had taken all my belongings from the hotel was just weird, though.
I paced around the apartment until I heard Avery stirring, then I dashed back in there and lay beside her before she fully woke.
She smiled sleepily at me as she blinked open her green eyes. I heard the cracks go through her bones and muscles as she stretched. So strange. I’d never heard that before, but it just weirdly endeared her to me even more, which hardly seemed possible.
“Good morning,” I murmured, trailing my fingers along her sleep-creased cheek.
“Morning. I like waking with you,” she said. I watched color flood her cheeks when she realized what she’d said. Yeah…even when I wasn’t out of town, I was usually long gone to the gym then work by now.
“I’ll do my best to be here whenever you wake from now on,” I promised.
“Really?”
“Really. I don’t want you to ever think you’re not important to me—you’re the most important thing in my life, Av.”
Her eyes turned glossy. “You’re mine, too.”
“Your starfish,” I said, reminding her of an analogy she’d once made. In a screwed up world, I was the one starfish she could save.
“Youaremy starfish, but I don’t think you need saving.”
“We all need a little saving. I need my person and you need to realize how important you are to the world.”
“I’m a waitress.”
“A damn good one.”
She rolled her eyes then scooted out of bed, groaning.
“You okay?” I asked while she pulled on her bathrobe. My dick stirred at the sight of her pale, slim back and her rounded buttocks. Marks from my grasping fingers discolored the delicate skin, but I couldn’t muster up guilt. In fact, the only thing mustering was my hard-on that wanted her again right now. Would she let me bend her over the bed and—
