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“Yes, but reality poked its head in.”
Jax huffs and sits, stretching his long legs out and placing his boots on the low table opposite. “Is this because of your brother?”
“No. But the sneaking around doesn’t help. Listen, Jax, it’s all good, go and be yourself. I’d rather step out of this now before I get hurt and things become unpleasant.”
For a few moments Jax is quiet, tapping the toes of his boots together. “All this because of last night? One mistake? I told you why I didn’t get in touch, Tegan.”
“I understand that, and the reason why you didn’t isn’t the issue. The issue is the conclusions I jumped to. I won’t be ‘that girl’.” He stares at the floor. “Come on, you’ll be sad all of five minutes, and you’ll find someone to cheer you up.” I grit my teeth at the thought of his hands on another girl, or her mouth where I’d like to put mine.
“And we’ll be friends?” he asks, making air quotation marks around the word friends.
“I think that’s best, don’t you?”
Jax watches me intently, in a way that lifts the hairs on my arms. I expected him to agree or at least not care, but the look refutes that. Is he pissed off? Not used to rejection?
Slowly, he stands and reaches a hand out, gently cupping my face. “No, I don’t think that’s best, Tegan. I can’t just be your friend when I feel all this crazy stuff around you.”
“Crazy stuff?”
“Yeah.” He strokes his fingers across my face, tracing my lips. “I can’t get you out of my head when you’re not around. That never happens. Even now, I should be worrying about this shit with Ruby but…no. Just you. I’m sorry about last night.”
I curl my fingers around his. “Now you’re sober can you see what a dick you’re being about Ruby’s situation?”
Jax laughs and drops his hand from mine. He steps back and digs one hand into his damp hair, shaking his head. “That. Don’t you see? That’s why you’re amazing.”
I shake my head, confused by his reaction. “Because I called you a dick?”
“No, because you’re like this rational voice with the ability to shove some sense in when I become too full of myself.” He pauses. “And yeah, I thought about the Ruby crap while I was in the shower and I’ll arrange a band meet up today.”
Jax in the shower. An image of the towel-clad Jax re-emerges. Why am I turning this man down?
“That’s not all I thought about in the shower.” Jax bites his lip and runs an unsubtle look along my body.
“I’m sure it wasn’t.”
“Tegan…” Jax sighs and takes my face in both hands. “Give this a go, we haven’t even tried.”
“I don’t know.” As he places his lips on mine, I fight against responding and move my head. “Jax. Don’t.”
He drops his hands. “You told me not to play games, so what the hell was all this? Trying to prove you could get me eating out of your hand then tell me you’re not interested?”
“No! I thought… I don’t know. This is too hard!”
“Because I’m hiding you from other people? So, I’ll tell people, yeah?”
“What? No!”
“Okay, maybe just your brother? Will you believe how much I want this if I tell him about us?”
My pulse quickens as Jax heads past me to the door, face set hard. I whirl around, surprised by his sudden shift in attitude. “Don’t be stupid, Jax! Don’t you have other things to worry about?”
He pauses. “Yeah, I guess I forgot about the other shit for five minutes. Funny how you do that, and how I like it.”
The door bangs closed behind him.
No. He wouldn’t tell Bryn. Would he?
21
