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I know Tegan better than she thinks; her nonchalance is surface only, and I’m not surprised after what I said this morning. I take her chin between my thumb and fingers and twist her face to look at me. “Stop that. I told you, it was a dickhead comment. I was shocked by your behaviour and wasn't thinking. I won’t touch another girl.”
The doubt in her eyes pains me. “I hope that's true, Jax. Don’t humiliate me.”
“This is my first go at a real relationship, remember? Help me not fuck things up.”
Tegan pulls her face away. “That's up to you.”
“I know. I won’t.”
“Do you think the press will leave me alone if I'm not with you?” she asks.
“Dunno. Maybe. They'll probably think we've split or something.”
“Riley would love that.”
“I'm sure she would. But Riley wants me to do a lot of things I won't.”
“You, awkward bastard,” she says and digs me in the ribs.
“Oh yeah, totally love myself. Egotistical, bloody rock star.”
“You think you're joking?”
I grin. “Mostly.”
Tegan places the bag on the floor and snuggles into me. Her warm curves relaxes against my chest, and I stroke her hair. Tegan in my arms soothes me, holds my feet on the ground. With Tegan, I remember what it's like to be part of the real world, the one I was sure I wanted to leave behind.
A flight announcement carries across the room and Tegan glances up at the monitor above my head. “I have to go in a few minutes.”
The same stomach flipping sensation as earlier hits as Tegan pulls her rucksack onto her lap and tucks away the laptop.
“Call me, text me, Skype me, everything, every day. Don't forget about me because I'm not there,” I tell her.
“I should be asking you that.”
“Morning and night, okay?”
“Okay.” She leans across and presses her mouth on mine.
I hold Tegan’s head gently not wanting her to take her lips away again and wrap Tegan tighter in my arms. “I’m gonna miss you. You’d better come back.”
“I think I’ll miss you too much to stay away.”
“You're amazing,” I whisper into her hair. “Goddamn feisty, sexy chick who I can’t keep away from.”
She shifts her head and nips my earlobe. “Yes, so don't mess with me, Jaxon Lewis.”
“Shit, no way. No idea who scares me the most, you or your brother...”
Giggling, Tegan rubs her nose against my neck and kisses. “You’re pretty damn awesome yourself.”
This is the point I could tell Tegan I'm falling for her, and hard. I've held the words in check because this is too soon. Intense. Scary. I'm a stupid bastard because this could be what Tegan needs to hear and I can’t tell her.
Why? Because if the admission is a world away from how she feels, Tegan might walk away for good.
29
TEGAN
