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“They’ll find a way on their own. It’s not for him to fix. Children should not be asked to do so. It’s our job to take care of you, not the other way around.”
“What about Lena?”
“People like Lena and her father do not need our concern. They always find a way to rise to the top, no matter who they trample on the way up.”“
“They do?” I stared at her, desperate for her to be right.
“Since the beginning of time, my love.” She placed both hands on my knees and looked me in the eyes. “You must not run from your destiny. If you and James are in love, then you must find a way to make it work.”
“Regardless of who we hurt?”
“I believe that if it’s meant to be, then choosing love always makes everything and everyone else fall into the places they belong as well. Lena and her father will be fine. That’s obvious. As far as James’s family goes, they will have to adjust to a new kind of life. If his mother and sister would like to move to America, we will take care of them. The father and his sins will have to be dealt with on his own. I won’t have a man in my house who gambled away the life of his wife and children.”
“You’d do that? What would Papa think?”
“My darling, since the moment you were born, your father has wanted only for you to be happy. He would do anything in his power to make it so, including offering a home to our new in-laws.”
“I don’t know what to say.”
“Talk to James. I’ll speak to your papa. If you and James decide that you’d like our help, then come to us. We’ll work something out. But James will have to decide on his own whether he can go against his father’s wishes. It is not an easy thing to do, especially for a man like James.”
I nodded, knowing it was true. But for the first time since I’d learned of James’s engagement, I felt a glimmer of hope. Would he choose me? Would he choose love or duty? All my life I’d thought they were the same things, but now I could see that without love there could be no sustainable duty. One could not be dutiful only for the sake of virtue. A man could not behave as James’s father had and expect that the world would then adjust to his sins, including his own children.
* * *
I couldn’t findJames all that morning. By the afternoon, I’d learned that he had gone into town to see Theo about a pain behind his right eye. He’d not mentioned this to me. Was it only the tension of the last days that had caused it, or was he ill?Please, God, not that. Not after everything.
After lunch, Papa called me into his study. I could see by the look in his eyes that Mama had already spoken to him.
“Addie, love, come sit with me.”
The study was dark and cool. Shades were drawn by this time on a summer afternoon to keep the heat out. I sat in one of the armchairs and waited for him to join me.
“Your mother has told me of your predicament,” Papa said. “I’d like to hear from you, though, before I talk to James.” He peered at me. In this dim light, he looked young except for the strands of silver that had taken over the glossy brown locks of yesteryear.
“What would you like to know?” I asked.
“I’d like to know what you’re prepared to give up for the people you love.”
This had not been what I’d expected him to say. I wasn’t sure what the right answer was, but I blurted out the first thing that came to mind. “I’m prepared to give my life, I suppose.” I thought of my sisters and Mama. If it came to that, I’d gladly take whatever hardship if it meant they would not suffer. “If one of my sisters needed me, I would walk to the ends of the earth to find them.”
“I hope we never have to test if that is true,” Papa said.
His eyes were so somber that I trembled in nervousness. I’d not seen him this way before, at least not in my presence. My sisters had told me of his dismay and anger when he learned of Flynn’s illegal activities back during Prohibition. “Have I done something wrong?” I asked.
His brow creased, but his eyes softened. “No, not at all. You’ve fallen in love. It so happens he couldn’t be a more difficult choice. If we could control our hearts, then we would.”
“I’m sorry, Papa. I tried not to love him. For years now, I’ve pushed it all away until I saw him again and then all the feelings would come crashing around me. I couldn’t avoid it, as much as I wished it could be anyone else. I’ve tried to stay away from him and resist this temptation.”
“That didn’t work too well, I take it?”
“No, Papa. It most certainly didn’t.” I smiled despite my consternation, remembering the long, happy days we’d spent together. “We had the most glorious summer together until Lena came here. We could no longer escape the truth of our situation. I had to accept that he would not be mine. He’d never been mine. I’ve tried with all my might to accept it as it is. To take comfort in knowing that it is me he loves, even if we cannot be together. Still, it’s a bitter, bitter pill. As you say, the heart cannot always be counted upon to obey our commands.”
“Your mother wants to offer a place here for his mother and sister. Is that what you want?” Papa asked.
“I want James, no matter what it takes.”
“All right, then, we’ll see what can be done.” Papa held out his arms, and I went into them just as I had as a child when I’d thought he could fix anything. Maybe he still could?
