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I didn’t look backto see what was happening between James and Lena. Instead, I marched Delphia toward our front door. When we were out of earshot, I turned to her. “What were you thinking?”
“I was thinking of you.” She blew a lock of hair from her face with a puff of breath. What a sight she was. Dirt was smeared on her cheeks and forehead. Her hair was completely out of its pins and hung unruly around her head. “She’s a snake, and I proved it. Now you and James can be happy together.”
“What you’ve done is made everything worse.” I dropped my face into my hands. “Poor James. What’s he supposed to do now? Not marry her?”
“Yes, what other outcome could there be?” Her face wrinkled in agitation. “I thought you’d be happy.”
“I want what’s best for James. I am not what’s best for him.”
“I don’t understand.”
I let out a long sigh. “Sometimes I could just shake you. He feels he has to marry her, and now she’s not only being forced upon him, he has to marry her knowing she was with another man in a very compromising position. It’s embarrassing for everyone.”
“But he won’t marry her. Don’t you see?”
“This changes nothing. Everyone will go on as if it didn’t happen.”
“You’re wrong.” She stalked away from me, headed toward the house. When she got there, Jasper yanked open the door. “What have you done, Miss Delphia?” He sounded annoyed and not at all amused by her humorous appearance.Not the first time,I thought. Delphia had been trying his patience for all sixteen years of her life.
Mama came running into the foyer. “Darling, what’s happened to you? Are you all right?”
“She’s not hurt.” I rolled my eyes. “Unfortunately.”
“I’m angry. Furious. At her.” Delphia pointed an accusatory finger in my direction. “I was trying to help my sister and all I get is a scolding.”
“I think you two better get upstairs,” Mama said. “I’ll be right behind you.”
17
JAMES
When Addieand Delphia disappeared into the house, I turned to a teary Lean. “Lena, what bloody happened? Tell me the truth. For once, just say what you mean. Why were you and Delphia fighting?” Even as I asked the question, I knew the answer. Delphia and Lena had been fighting about Addie and me. Tensions must have finally gotten out of control.
Lena started to cry, falling down into the soft grass and curling into a ball as if she were trying to climb into a shell. Rocking back and forth, she babbled incoherently through her sobs. I couldn’t quite make it out but I thought it was something about the gardener. “It wasn’t what it looked like.”
“What wasn’t?” Sweat trickled down my back. I watched Lena crying as if I were not really there but someplace up in the sky looking down on both of us. Shaking my head, I joined her on the ground and put my weight against the fence. The fall grass cushioned me in an embrace.
“I was with that Jesse in the loft and the girls came in and thought it was a liaison.” She swiped at her dirty face.
“Was it?” I held my breath.
“No, it wasn’t. You want the truth? It was Delphia. She set me up. Jesse told me Delphia paid him to ruin me. She wanted me to get caught. She wanted to make it so I couldn’t marry you after lying with one of the staff. All for Addie. So she could have you instead of me. But it’s not what happened. He listened to me, that’s all. Tried to comfort me.” Her dress was torn at the seam, exposing her thigh.
My head, as if I were a puppet with no control over my own body, fell to my hands. I swallowed, feeling as if I might vomit. This was all too complicated to comprehend. Delphia had done a wicked thing. In the name of love. That’s how she would see it, anyway. Her sister wanted me, and Delphia wanted Addie to have what she wanted. Therefore all would be forgiven. Delphia did not understand fully how many people could be hurt by her actions. “What happened? Exactly,” I asked, my throat dry. “Are you telling me the truth? Nothing happened between you and this Jesse?”
“I’m telling you the truth.” She sobbed into her knees, her entire body shaking. “I walk around all the time feeling as if I’m weighed down by a boulder. No one can see me, James. No one ever sees me. No one cares what I want or what I think. My father only cares about money and reputations. He has everything planned out for me. He always has. But I can’t please him. I’m never able to please him, and I’m so tired of trying. You won’t believe it, but that boy in the barn actually listened to me.”
“I see.” I felt pity for her. I did. Because I did not love her, I could feel such things. If it had been Addie with another man, I would have wanted to murder him with my bare hands. Instead, I understood. I knew Lena longed for love and yet was being forced to marry me. Finally, with all these thoughts darting around in my mind, I lifted my gaze to meet her eyes. “Lena, what do you want? It’s not me, is it?”
“No,” she whispered. “I don’t love you, and you don’t love me. I’ve known that, but I went along with what Father wanted, as I always do.”
“Look at us,” I said. “Both trying our hardest to please cold men. Your father uses you for his own devices, as does mine.”
Lena wiped her cheeks, smearing the dirt. “What else are we to do? There’s no life for us otherwise. You can get another one. Me? I have nowhere to go. No one to turn to if my father decides to toss me away with the trash.” She started to sob again. “I’m more trapped than you are.”
I rubbed my eyes. “I won’t have work if your father doesn’t get what he wants from us. This changes nothing, really. Not if I want my father to—” I stopped myself before finishing the sentence.
“If you want your father to love you. Isn’t that what you were about to say? Isn’t that what this is all about for both of us?”
