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“Addie was sick when she was a child,” Quinn said. “We thought we might lose her. It’s the most terrified I’ve ever been. And I had two sons fight in the war, so I’ve known the horror of almost losing a child, and it’s no joking matter.” Quinn was hoping to shame him. However, she underestimated my father. He was not ashamed of his behavior. In fact, he never was. Perhaps that was the crux of the problem. Without regret or remorse, how does one grow and learn from their mistakes?
“His mother thought him weak of character,” Father said. “But I never gave up hope that he would grow into a fine young man.”
“Mother thought I was weak?” I asked, sitting up straighter. The pain in my head grew worse by the minute.
“She liked to coddle you. Treated him like the king of England, that she did,” Father said to Alexander before he looked over at Jasper and tapped his glass for another.
Jasper, bless him, didn’t blink. His composure had returned, it seemed. He poured a new glass for Father, presenting it to him on a tray.
Father took the glass and continued on with his prattle about my deficiencies. “Always with his nose in a book, this one. Thought he was too good for the rest of us, I dare say.”
“That’s not true.” I tugged at my collar, hot. “I never thought that.” Books were more interesting than my parents and their endless drama. I could escape inside the pages of a story and forget, even if it was just for a moment, the cold dankness of both the house and my parents.
“All of our children loved to read,” Alexander said. “As do my wife and I. You can see by our library here. Did you know our oldest daughter started the library here in town?”
I lost the thread of the conversation, sinking further into myself. My father could make me shrink like no one else. In his presence, the ghost of the little boy who had so desperately wanted his love returned. He knew this, too, and played on it to get what he wanted from me. He knew I was marrying for his sake. Yet he would withhold that love anyway. As much as he needed saving by Mr. Masters, he couldn’t bring himself to treat me decently.
I hated him.
20
ADDIE
In the bedroom,I sat with Delphia by the window in silence, straining to hear what was being said below us in the sitting room. Mr. Masters had returned from his errands in town a few minutes ago and had brought someone with him. A man we didn’t recognize.
“Who do you think he is?” Delphia asked, whispering.
“I can’t imagine.”
The man had appeared older than Mr. Masters, with white hair and a nice suit that seemed too big for him. He needed Mr. Olofsson to make his clothes, I’d thought, absently.
“What’s happening down there?” Delphia jumped up and began to pace around the room. “Do you think he’s a business associate of Mr. Masters? But why would he come here?”
I didn’t answer, having no idea.
“Are you still mad at me?” Delphia asked, sitting next to me once again.
“I couldn’t be mad at you for long, could I?” In truth, I wasn’t angry at her, more disappointed. Yet I understood why she’d done what she did. It was strange, really. When one loved another person as much as I loved my sister, one could separate their mistakes from the entirety of their being. Even though she’d made a messy situation even worse, I loved her with the same intensity that she had for me.
Her voice trembled. “I am truly sorry. I thought I was doing a good deed.”
I squeezed her hand. “I know.”
A knock on the door startled us. I sped over to open it and found Lena standing there. She’d cleaned up and put on a new dress. A soft yellow linen that looked nice with her hair. One would never have known she’d been rolling around in the dirt with my sister such a short time ago. However, although she was clean and put together, she visibly shook.
“May I come in?” Lena asked.
“Yes, of course.” I opened the door wider to let her pass by. A quick glance at Delphia told me that she had not softened. Scowling with all her might, my sister.
“I came to say I’m sorry,” Lena said. “For everything, but also to tell you that the man with my father is James’s father.”
My mouth fell open. “How…how is that possible?”
“My father’s brought him from England.”
“Whatever for?” I asked.
“To make sure James does what he wants him to,” Lena said. “Why else would he have gone to all the trouble?”
