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“Why does your father want this so badly, anyway?” Delphia asked. “What does it give him? I truly don’t understand.”
Lena held on to the corner of the four-poster bed. “There’s a reason.”
“What is it?” Delphia’s voice sharpened into a blade. “What have you been keeping from James? From us?”
I watched Lena carefully, taking note of the way her chest quivered when she took in a deep breath as well as the splotches on her neck. Her eyes were red and swollen. She’d been crying. The kind of crying jag you think will never stop. I knew all about those.
“I’m no longer keeping anything from James. I’ve released him. Set him free. Like a butterfly from a cocoon.”
“What nonsense are you saying?” Delphia asked. “Speak plainly.”
“I’m going to have a baby,” Lena said. “It’s not James’s baby. Father wanted me to marry as quickly as possible so that no one would know. That’s why we’ve been in such a hurry. We haven’t long before I start to show.”
For once, Delphia was struck silent. I staggered backward into a chair.
“Earlier today, Jesse and I were only talking,” Lena said. “The man I love is back home, and I would never fall into the arms of another just for the fun of it. That’s where you underestimated me, Delphia. You see, I’m in love with my Carl. That’s the name of my baby’s father. He worked for my father. In the gardens. He’s not even a head gardener, merely a young man who brings flowers and plants to life with his hard work. He was responsible for the flowers outside my window. That’s when I first saw him. He was leaning over, planting a petunia. When he saw me watching, he grinned, as if we had a private joke. That smile warmed me in a way I’d never been warmed before. In a way that made me realize I’d been cold all my life.”
“Oh, dear,” Delphia said.
“I went to Father and begged his forgiveness. He said the only way I would avoid being kicked out to the street was to find a suitable husband. That’s where James came in. I knew him from parties and such. We’d been out a few times. I knew about his family’s financial situation. When I told Father all of this, he immediately darted off a correspondence, offering Mr. West money in exchange for a quick wedding.” She sat in the other armchair and curled over her legs, sobbing for a moment before gaining enough composure to continue her story. “That’s why we had to put it in the paper. We needed James to commit. All was well until he insisted on coming out here to see you all. He didn’t say so, but I know he thought it would be the last one he ever enjoyed.”
“You poor thing.” Delphia’s eyes were wide with sympathy. “This is terrible. What about your flower grower? Does he know all of this?”
I, too, filled with sorrow on her behalf. Now that I knew the truth, it was easy to understand why she’d acted as she had. I could only feel terribly sorry for her and her predicament.
“No, I didn’t tell him about the baby. My father insisted upon that,” Lena said. “Carl was the first person I’ve ever been completely myself with, but I knew that if I told him about the baby he would do whatever it took to look after me, and where would that have gotten us? Father is a formidable opponent. Today, though, I told James the truth. Seeing him with you, Addie, I knew what I had to do. I couldn’t be that selfish. Not when he wants you and you love him so much—I can see it between you—these feelings you didn’t want but came anyway, just as they did for me and Carl. I can’t bear for either of you to feel the way I do. I wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy. Your mother—she was kind to me just now. She offered me a place to stay if Father disowns me. Even with the scandal I would bring to Father and to all of you.”
“She doesn’t care,” Delphia said. “She’s too kind. Right, Addie?”
“I’d have thought she would,” I said, truthfully. “She has high moral standards.”
“Yes, one would think this would be too much for your saintly mother,” Lena said. “And I wouldn’t blame her if that were true. Who would want me in their home? I bring only heartache to anyone who cares for me. When I went back to my room, I thought about what your mother said, and I knew what to do. I think I’ve known all along. It’s what I should have done when I first knew about the baby. Instead of dragging poor James into all of my troubles. All of my mistakes.”
“What did she say?” I asked. “What advice did she have?” My mother often surprised me with her wisdom and her imaginative ideas for solving even the most complex of problems.
“That the motherless seek love from other sources. Or something of that nature.” Lena took a handkerchief from her dress pocket and dabbed her cheeks. “But I didn’t seek love. It found me. I didn’t want it. I would rather be dead than feel this kind of pain. Being apart from Carl—it’s too much. I cannot raise a child without him. I’ve no place to go and no way of taking care of myself or a baby. I don’t want to live anymore. And so that is what I will do. It’s the only thing I know to do. I wanted to tell you all the truth before the poison does whatever it is that’s going to happen to me.”
I leapt up and knelt at her feet. “What are you talking about? What did you take?”
Lena closed her eyes. “Just something to put me to sleep. A little something the doctor gave me for my nerves in combination with the pain powder I found in the bathroom. I took all of it, so that should do what I want it to.” A smile twitched the corners of her mouth. “That’s all I want. To never wake. To be at peace at last and let all of you have the lives you’re supposed to have. I’m only in the way.”
The truth of what she was saying stunned me for a moment. Only for a second though. After the initial shock, I realized I must remain calm and assertive or everything could go terribly wrong. Irreparably wrong.
“Lena, what was the medicine that you took? The one for your nerves?”
“I don’t know what it’s called. The doctor gave it to me so I can sleep at night. I have the most dreadful time sleeping.”
“Opium,” I heard Delphia say behind me. “They hand it out like candy in the cities.”
I wondered how she knew this but didn’t have time to think about that now and turned to my sister. Delphia’s eyes were wide and frightened. I remembered the last time she’d looked like a scared moon, all round and pale and suspended in space—the night I almost died. I’d never forgotten it.
Mrs. Wu and her magical potions. The thought slid into my mind with such ease that I wondered why I hadn’t thought of it straight away. She made herbs and other dried plants into tea. She’d saved Theo with one of them when he was a boy. When I was sick, she’d made ones that soothed my stomach. She claimed her daily concoction of herbs and dried flowers was the secret to her long life.
By the time Theo got here, it might be too late, but Mrs. Wu was downstairs. “Go downstairs. Call Theo or Dr. Neal and tell them what Lena’s taken. Then, go down to the kitchen and ask Mrs. Wu if she has an herb that will make Lena vomit. We have to empty her stomach. Then, get Mama—as discreetly as you can—and tell her to come up here.”
Without a word, Delphia raced out of the room, as fast as Cymbeline. My sisters, the athletes. Now, we needed my brother the doctor. Or Mrs. Wu. And God. Perhaps a combination of all three.
Lena had slumped onto one side of the chair. Now she brought her legs up as if they were weighed down with rocks and curled into a ball. Her eyes were closed and shedidlook peaceful, I thought. If that had been her aim, it seemed to be working.
