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“Doesn’t matter,” I say, shaking my head. “He made his boundaries clear. I just have to let this—him—go.”
“Likely for the best. You can’t force yourself onto someone who isn’t interested. No means no.”
“Yeah, I hear you.”
“I’ve got to get out of here. You good?”
“I’m good. Thanks for the chat.”
“Look at it this way,” he says, standing to drop a few bills on the bar, placing a friendly slap on my shoulder. “At least you know you’re open to having a boy in your life again. Consider this a blessing in disguise.”
Fuck that.
Tanner is an exception. Even if I were considering the idea of having another boy in my life, after tonight, I don’t think anyone could compare to him. Nah, it’s better if I let the memories of Tanner hold me over. Any other ridiculous notions of permanence and relationships will evaporate from my consciousness sooner rather than later if I’m lucky.
Not long after Lennox leaves, the rest of the staff announces their departure. Knowing it’s time to shut it down and head home, I seek out Eve and the PJS team upstairs.
I avoid Eve’s curious look as I check in with Jerad and his team.
First Aspen, now Eve? After my talk with Lennox, I’m not up for their prying or, hell, even more meddling.
“Anything I need to know?” I ask Jerad.
“We’re all good, man. This place should be good to run smoothly after tonight.” Jerad pushes a button on his tablet, lighting up the security dashboard. “Let me show you this.”
For a few minutes, he walks me through their night. Overall, it was a successful evening. No issues were reported, and PJS is confident the system upgrades are ready to go live.
“We have a job to run this week, but I can meet you here next weekend to finalize the handoff to you and your team.”
Shaking his hand, I thank him. “Sure thing. Give Aspen the time, and they’ll add it to my calendar.”
Meetings scheduled and goodnights passed around the table, it’s time to cut out of here. Refusing to let Eve corner me, I hightail it out of her office ahead of the PJS team, heading straight for my bike. Thankfully, Aspen is nowhere in sight as I skirt through the lobby.
The parking lot is mostly deserted—thank fuck—as I kick my leg over to straddle my Harley. Starting the engine, I let the vibrating rumble fire off between my legs, the noise drowning out my thoughts.
It’s one reason I love this damn bike. Between the open air slapping against my face and the throaty engine, it’s difficult to think of much else.
Difficult but not impossible.
I’m proven right as I twist and turn down the winding roads home. Every curve and darkened tree line from The Garden to my house is filled with Tanner’s face.
EIGHT
“I’m done!”I shout triumphantly, shaking my hips in a jig as I wring the mop over the sink.
I’ve been dreading all the chores I needed to get done during my few days off. But now, with my apartment scrubbed within an inch of its life, the second load of laundry tumbling in the dryer, and the Spring Lemonade candle burning on the counter, I’m feeling accomplished. Especially since I finished several hours sooner than I anticipated.
Deciding to go to The Garden and then agreeing to participate in the Daddy-adoption event was the best thing to happen to me. Even though my exhaustion was creeping into the marrow of my bones, and there were moments when my eyelids were too heavy to blink, it was worth it.
Dean was right. A few hours of playtime, where I could let my adult worries and responsibilities fade away, is exactly what I needed. Instead of coming home and collapsing in bed without so much as stopping to empty my bladder, I gave in to a bedtime routine for the first time in months.
Daddy or no Daddy in the apartment, I still had a bubble bath and dressed in my favorite jammie set. Cuddling with Luna, we watched the opening ofTheNightmare Before Christmasbefore finally succumbing to sleep.
Sure it was in the wee hours of the morning, and my schedule is slightly off-kilter, but who cares? It was the best sleep I’ve had in ages. I woke up this morning refreshed and ready to tackle my adult responsibilities.
For the past few hours, I’ve danced all over this apartment, catching up on all the things that have stacked up while work sucked away all my free time. I even had time to purge my fridge of the leftover takeout containers and place an order for a healthy-ish lunch from the delivery app.
Stowing the mop and bucket in the broom closet, I survey the clean space, congratulating myself on a job well done. The only thing left to clean is…me.
