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Noting the case of water bottles on the floor, I snag two before heading back to the couch. After all those carbs and the extra sugar, Tanner will need something to start flushing his system before bed.
He watches me with questioning eyes as I take the seat next to him, breaking the seal on the cap and handing him the water bottle. He takes a few small sips before leaning against the back cushion. Tanner looks mostly settled, if not a bit nervous, so I start us off.
“Did you think about what I asked you?”
“I did.” He pauses, taking in a deep breath. “It all sounds too good to be true, if I’m honest.”
“How so?”
“A dream Daddy who looks…well, like you do…offering me a chance to be a boy, to relieve some stress and find balance? It sounds like a fairytale. I’m struggling to wrap my head around how any of this would work. I’ve tried before, not a Daddy, but a boyfriend, and the whole relationship went up in flames because of my time commitments. A D/s relationship, especially a Daddy/boy one, seems like it’ll require more effort and time than I can give, you know?”
“All fair points. Relationships, regardless of any BDSM dynamic included, are work. It’s difficult, sometimes tiring, it can be stressful, and it requires compromise. Relationships are give and take, but it doesn’t mean they’re tit for tat. If you go into a relationship expecting every single moment, every give and take, to be a fifty-fifty split, you’re gonna end up disappointed right out the gate.”
“Okay, but what about when one person in the relationship starts resenting the other because all they’re doing is giving?” he challenges.
“To be honest, it depends on the relationship and the individuals involved. Coming back to a Daddy/boy relationship, do you think a Daddy gives more than the boy in their dynamic?”
“Well, no, not really, but it can look like that to outsiders.”
“Right.” I turn on the couch to face him better, wanting Tanner to see my expression as I say this next part. “I can’t speak for every Daddy, but for me? I’m happiest as a Daddy, knowing I’m providing for my boy, keeping him safe and secure, helping him through his struggles, and working together to make him the best version of himself. I recognize the adult needs and the little needs inside my boy, and I am most fulfilled when I’m able to stand by my boy’s side as he succeeds.
“That can be in any version, as unique as the boy himself. Whether it’s establishing boundaries, learning and executing a tutorial on building a model airplane, or something as simple as following a full week of rules and earning a reward. Their success is my success. And that, my boy, is not unique to a D/s dynamic.”
He grins. “No, I suppose not.”
“Let me ask you this…are you at least willing to hear my ideas on how I think this could work between us?”
“Of course.” He nods rapidly. “I wouldn’t have agreed to dinner if I wasn’t. Even if I’m unsure.”
It’s not a resounding yes, but I can work with this. “The way I see things, based on what I’ve picked up from our conversations, you’re mostly concerned about your ability to commit to a full-time dynamic, right?”
“Um, yeah,” he says hesitantly.
“Well, what I’m offering you is a part-time Daddy.” It took a few working titles to get here, but it’s the one that makes the most sense. Tanner doesn’t want to commit to a relationship, and up until the other night, neither did I. Part-time gives us a chance to test out a dynamic between us and see if it works.
“A part-time, what?”
“A part-time Daddy. Think of it like stepping ankle-deep in the shallow end of a pool. You know the space where you can feel the water lap at your skin, test out the temperature, even wade around a bit until you’re comfortable enough for what comes next? Whether it’s diving in headfirst or easing in a little farther until you’re waist deep.”
“I get the comparison, kinda. How would that apply to our dynamic?”
“I have some ideas…” I reach for my cell on the arm of the couch, sliding the screen to my notes app. “I know you have a demanding job, Tanner, and I don’t want you to think I am or will ever make light of that. I will never ask you to consider quitting unless it’s something you want to do on your own, but I can help you find a balance and a full life.”
“How?” he blurts, his curiosity overriding his hesitancy.
I can see his want, the desire to have it all dancing in his eyes. He knows he needs someone else to make all the decisions for him. Tanner doesn’t want to decide. He doesn’t want to carry the burden of adult thoughts. He wants to make the world a better place, protect the kids he relates to and find a space for him to decompress.
“For starters,” I begin, listing off the bullets I wrote, “I can help with setting your schedule. Now I understand your job requires unusual hours and last-minute cases, but a routine will go a long way in helping it feel less chaotic. Even if we account for early mornings and a few hours after the office closes, we can manage a routine that includes meals, showers, and a decent bedtime.”
“What happens if I can’t stick to the schedule?”
“This isn’t a punishment-and-reward system, at least not unless you want it to be,” I tell him. “I was thinking more of giving you the structure of a routine. Something you can count on to be consistent, even when you don’t feel that way. Routines become habits, and when you have an off day, like the other night, you may feel better knowing you got decent sleep the last few days and one night isn’t worth crying over.”
“So kinda like a cheat day when you’re on a diet?”
“Sure, if that helps.” I shrug. “It’s about finding balance, not hating ourselves for falling short of a goal.”
“I like that idea,” he says, sighing as he sinks farther into the couch. “What else?”
