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My pulse races in my veins, those three words reverberating over my sternum.
Holy fuck.
“I wasn’t sure I would be ready to say it aloud, but you’re right. We promised to be honest with each other. And even if it’s scary, and a small part of me worries my limited time won’t be enough for you, there’s a bigger part of me that knows better.”
“Good boy,” I whisper, my voice cracking with emotion. “I mean it when I say I want all of you, Tanner. Not just the parts of you that are focused on me. I want the man who wants to fix the world, the boy who loves to watchDracula, and the person who cares enough to sacrifice his happiness for others. I want the Tanner who falls asleep standing up, the baby bat who splashes while playing in the tub, and the good boy who finds joy riding on the back of my bike. The good, the bad, the ugly, I wantyou.”
“Daddy,” he breathes.
“There’s a lifetime ahead of us, Tanner. One filled with crazy weeks and slow mornings. Times where we are nothing more than passing ships in the night. Others where we can find stillness in each other’s arms. No matter where we land, I know we will be okay because together, we will find a system that works for us.”
“Like the one you gave me to find balance in my life?” he says through a smirk.
“Exactly, sweetheart.” I brush my thumb over his cheek, cupping his chin. “We can find our balance, develop our relationship however we want. It’s our life to build. Together.”
“I love you so much.” Tanner rises on his toes, his lips brushing against mine. “I can’t wait for the rest of this life with you.”
“I love you,” I repeat, slanting our mouths together, sealing the declaration with a kiss.
EPILOGUE
Two Years Later
“Jeanine, can you come in here?”I say through the intercom, releasing the button to hear her quick “Yes” over the line.
Leaning back in my chair, I scan the tiny office I moved into last month while I wait for Jeanine to trek across the building. It’s not much more than a broom closet, with four dingy, taupe walls, no window, and hardly enough space for my desk, chair, and two file cabinets. Still…boring and tiny as it is…it’s mine.
All my late nights, early mornings, and heartfelt sobbing into my pillow have been worth it. Turns out all those “vacations” Mr. Havers was taking were actually administrative leaves while under the microscope of Internal Affairs. I wasn’t privy to all the nitty-gritty details, but the long and short of the rumor mill suggests he was having multiple affairs with the junior interns.
Oh, but the winning reputation doesn’t stop there. Gary Havers was also found to have been working with a rogue beat cop at ECPD, funneling drugs out of the evidence room. Needless to say, Gary was fired and arrested at the end of the investigation, and the entire department was restructured.
A new department chief was assigned, and Mx. Andrews has turned this place around. The unbalanced case files, toxic environment, and shitty colleagues are long gone. They’ve been in place for about five months, cleaning up the mess Gary left behind. Once they felt the office was running smoothly again, they offered me a promotion to casework supervisor and set me on a career path that came with this tiny office, a decent salary bump, and a couple of direct subordinates.
I was able to pick my team, Jeanine being the first I snagged. She’s a natural, someone who easily finds a way to get these kids to trust her and works well with the at-risk population. Choosing to give others a fighting chance, the same one I hoped for when starting my career right out of college, I picked up Harley and Sam from the intern pool.
Sure, they all require more hands-on training, but I enjoy the mentoring. Between the four of us, we’ve managed to split up our assigned cases in a way to keep us from burning out. We divided the county’s regions, keeping our car travel to one area, and the even split of files means we get some semblance ofnormalworking hours.
I wasn’t sure I’d ever get here, but I’ve arrived. A smile splits my face as I think over all the days and nights I cried myself to sleep, letting Dean rock me gently and whisper soft words of encouragement every time I threatened to quit. Between his steadfast support and my desire not to let Gary push me out, I found my place here.
Jeanine knocks on my door before popping her head through the open doorway. “Hey, Mr. Morgan. What can I do for you?”
My face screws up. “Mr. Morgan? Ew. No.”
“Yeah, it didn’t feel right,” she says with a bubbly laugh. “What’s up, Tan?”
“I was wondering if you had a chance to look over the case notes I sent you on the Ryan family in South Bend?”
“Oh, I was looking them over when you pinged me. Mind if I sit?”
I gesture to the chair opposite me. She sits and continues, “I think you’re right about this one. Two secondary reports from the school, one from a coach. A surprise visit is warranted.”
“With two daughters under the age of thirteen, this one is right up your alley.” I push the file across the desk. “It’s outside of your region, so you can say no.”
Jeanine takes the file. “No, no. These girls need someone they can relate to. I’ll check it out, but if you don’t mind, I think an ECPD escort would be best.”
I nod. “Agreed. Please call me if you have any issues.”
“I always do.” Jeanine stands, file tucked under her arm. “Anything else for the day?”
